


people might talk

by bluemoonrabbit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (please practice safe sex), Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eventual Romance, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gratuitous references to rock bands, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Switching, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:54:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19124047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonrabbit/pseuds/bluemoonrabbit
Summary: Stuck on the sidelines of his bandmates’ fledgling relationships, Hoseok finds comfort in the maknae’s company — and a little more.Changkyun is there at every turn — on the stage, in the studio, in his bed — until he isn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

It goes like this. First, the fans filter into the concert hall. The lights are still on, but the excitement is tangible as they chatter among themselves, eagerly anticipating the show to come. They find their seats; or, if they’re brave enough for the mosh pit, claim their spots, and wait for the main attraction to appear.

When the lights switch off, the stadium becomes dead silent. The audience sit in the darkness with bated breath and quickened heartbeats, eager to see what’s to come.

A single spotlight flicks on, centred on a set of drums. There sits Jooheon, with his drumsticks in his agile hands. The pale yellow of the spotlight bounces off the cymbals and the gold bobby pins glittering in his dark hair. His bare arms flex as readies himself. He taps his drumsticks together in a quick four-count, then begins playing a steady, quiet beat.

His charisma pulls the audience in like a gravitational field. Save for the spotlight on the drums, the stage is still pitch black, but his energy is enough to fill the entire hall. It mesmerizes, and for half a minute, nothing exists in the world except for Lee Jooheon and his steady rhythm.

That is, until another spotlight switches on. To the right stands Changkyun. With his black hair pulled back away from his brow in a little ponytail and his broad shoulders clad in a silken black robe over his tank top and jeans, he looks like a fallen angel. He slings the strap of his glossy black bass guitar over his shoulder and strikes the strings.

A low bassline throbs through the hall, layering over the beat set by Jooheon. Like Changkyun’s intoxicating presence, it seeps into the mind like a dense fog, wrapping the audience in the brooding atmosphere of their music.

Another spotlight, and there’s Minhyuk on centre stage left. The audience gasps — his hair, bound by a thick black headband, has just been freshly bleached white. It’s a shocking departure from his previous sweet caramel. He looks good, and he knows it, but he doesn’t let it show. He begins strumming the strings of his guitar.

The chords he plays are another layer on top of Jooheon’s beat and Changkyun’s bassline. He builds tension on top of their sound, setting the atmosphere for what the audience is in for.

Suddenly, the keyboard on stage left near Minhyuk jumps into relief. Behind it stands Hyungwon in his tall, modelesque glory. Languidly, he casts his eyes over the audience before flicking his long bangs from his face. He places his hands on the keyboard.

It’s a subtle thing he plays; just a quiet little motif. The piano notes lie heavy on top of Jooheon’s frantic drum beats, Changkyun’s bassline, and Minhyuk’s chords, and they tease at the melody to come.   

As Hoseok walks to his spot on centre stage right, he counts the beats. He knows the exact moment his own spotlight will switch on, and he readies himself for it. One, two, three, four — _light._ Although his arms are bare, the heat of the spotlight quickly warms his skin and soothes his fluttering heart. He was made for this.

His all-white Fender Stratocaster is his pride and joy, and it looks fucking great in his able hands and against his leather-clad hips. He counts down the last few bars, then adds the electric pulse of his guitar to the sound already laid down by his bandmates. The picture of the sound is low and brooding, fraught with an apocalyptic tension that makes the heart beat faster. The audience knows what’s coming. They wait for the final piece.

The last spotlight switches on, illuminating Kihyun in centre stage. His hair’s been shaved into an undercut and freshly dyed a violent shade of purple, and the audience loves it. Kihyun looks out into the stadium, casting his sharp gaze over the crowds. The thrill running through the audience is palpable.

But the impact of his visuals is nothing compared to that of his vocals. Yoo Kihyun’s voice has been lauded as one of the best of the decade, and Monsta X are damn lucky to have him as their main vocalist. His sound is a river — gentle and warm in ballads, but powerful and devastating when they need to be. He opens his mouth, and the audience is stunned.    

 _시간의 터널을 지나서  / Through the tunnel of time_  
_감은 눈을 뜨는 순간  / The moment I opened my eyes_ _  
_ _짧은 꿈에서 깨어난 듯  / As if I woke up from a short dream_   
거짓말처럼 네가 나타나  / You appeared like magic

When Hoseok’s playing, he doesn’t have any time for thoughts. The only thing that matters in the moment is getting the notes and the emotions right. Nothing coherent pushes through to the forefront of his mind, except for pride that swells at the sight and sound of _Destroyer_ filling the stadium.    

 _숨 막히는 순간들이  / Suffocating moments_  
_순수한 맘을 짓밟어  / Trample on my innocent heart_ _  
_ _정신이 혼미해지고  / My mind is going haywire_   
_내 모든 걸 잃어 가도  / I’m losing everythi_ ng

He has a rest during Jooheon’s rapid-fire rap, so he quickly glances over the audience to gauge their reaction. Some of them are mouthing the lyrics along to the beat. Some of them already have tears in their eyes. All of them are focusing their energy onto the six men on the stage. He doesn’t blame them — how many bands have a member who can spit fire while keeping up on the drums? 

 _운명을 넘어 destroyer  / Past destiny, destroyer_  
_(Destroyer) destroyer_  
_난 몇 번이라도 rewind  / However many times it takes, rewind_  
_널 향해서 rewind  / I’ll go to you, rewind_ _  
어차피 결말은 내게 달렸어  / The ending is up to me anyway_

 _Destroyer (destroyer)_  
_Destroyer_  
_현실의 경계를 지나  / Crossing the line of reality_  
다시 찾은 시간  / This time has come again  
_지켜야 할 룰 따윈 이제 없어  / No more rules to keep anymore_

In Hoseok’s peripheral vision, Changkyun has stepped up to a microphone stand. Hoseok suppresses a proud smile as their youngest cradles the mic with both hands, leaving his bass to hang by the shoulder strap. Why add bass when Changkyun’s voice _is_ the bass? The dark timbre of his voice vibrates through the hall and sends tingles through Hoseok’s body.  

 _Begin and end, open and close_  
_I’m at the middle of this, so overdose_  
_I’m tryna make me right_ _  
_ _You’re my only sight_  
 _Baby don’t go you gotta hold me tight_

To Hoseok’s surprise, Changkyun suddenly turns and points at him on the last line. He nearly misses a note, but hundreds of hours of practice don’t fail him. At the sound of the crowd screaming its approval, Changkyun shoots him a rakish grin. Hoseok relaxes and smirks, basking in the audience and the maknae’s momentary attention.  

 _Ain’t got time to do this anymore_  
_Please let me knock out this door_ _  
_ _Let me go, take me home_   
_Not alone, don’t ignore_

When Changkyun’s rap ends, Hoseok turns off all thought and lets the music wash over him. The night is young, and it belongs to Monsta X.

—

The first song of their concert ends to the adoring cheers of their fans. Hoseok relaxes as the stage lighting changes and raises both arms to wave.

“Monbebes!” Kihyun calls out to the crowd. Monbebes scream back, waving their slogans and lightsticks.

“How are you feeling tonight, Monbebes?” Minhyuk shouts in Japanese.

Hoseok beams and reaches behind an amp for a water bottle. Now that he’s not focusing all his energy into performing, he can fully appreciate the glittering sea of lights before him. The concert hall in which they’re performing the Nagoya stop of their Japan tour is larger than last year, and from the front row to the very back reaches of the hall, each light glimmers fiercely and pierces into his heart. The knowledge that their music has spread and touched more people fills him with pride.

As the other four members keep the crowd entertained, Changkyun wanders to his side.

“This is amazing,” Changkyun whispers in his ear, voice filled with awe. “Look at all of them.”

“I know right?” Hoseok whispers back.

“Our tour’s almost over but I still can’t believe it’s not a dream.”

A wave of affection — for their fans, for their maknae — sweeps over Hoseok. He slings an arm over Changkyun. When Monbebes cheer for their cozy skinship, he grins and raises his other arm to wave back.

“Need me to pinch you?” Hoseok asks.

Changkyun sticks his tongue out and pinches his side instead, drawing warm cheers from the crowd.

—

After they take their final bow, Hyunwoo is waiting in the wings with his thick arms crossed, wearing the proudest smile Hoseok has ever seen. To be fair, that’s how their manager always smiles at them after concerts, but tonight feels ultra special. Hoseok is still wiping tears from his cheeks as they exit the stage.

“Good job tonight, guys,” Hyunwoo beams, opening his arms wide. As always, they interpret it as permission to envelope him in the sweatiest group hug known to humankind. “Hungry? Let’s go back and eat.”

“Chicken!” Kihyun exclaims, dimpling happily and shedding his bad boy stage image to attach himself to Hyunwoo’s arm.

Minhyuk rolls his eyes and slings his arms over Hyungwon and Jooheon’s shoulders. Hoseok’s amazed that they don’t flinch away from the prodigious amount of sweat and water dripping from Minhyuk’s hair and skin.

“We’re in Japan and all you can think about is chicken,” Minhyuk scoffs. Beside him, Hyungwon shakes his head in disappointment.

Changkyun drapes an arm over Hoseok’s shoulders and mutters, “Here we go again.”

“Yup,” Hoseok laughs back quietly, dabbing at the sweat condensing on his chest. Earlier before their encore stage, he stripped off his T-shirt and threw it into the crowd, and now the sweat beading on his bare skin is starting to feel uncomfortable.

They watch in amusement as Hyunwoo tries to wrangle Minhyuk and Jooheon towards the dressing rooms to change before boarding the van back to the hotel. Kihyun and Hyungwon, ever more calm, follow a few paces behind, chatting quietly between them, so Hoseok and Changkyun bring up the rear. Ahead of them, the others’ voices are a jumbled mess of eager shouting.

“You were on fire today, leader-nim,” says Changkyun, stretching his arms to the ceiling. His bass is now slung across his back, waiting to be wiped clean and returned to its case.

“Super fucking hot,” he adds, shooting a saucy wink at Hoseok.

“So were you, maknae,” says Hoseok with a smile. Saying goodbye to Monbebes at the end of each concert always takes a lot out of him, and he can tell Changkyun’s trying to lift his mood. The flirty compliment is standard fare for them, but he preens nonetheless. “Didn’t you hear them screaming for you?”

“Shush,” Changkyun replies with a little smile.

“Hurry up, slowpokes,” Minhyuk calls over his shoulder. “I’m hungry!”

Kihyun beats them to the van’s front passenger seat and triumphantly buckles himself in before Hyunwoo even closes the driver seat door. As the leader of the group, Hoseok should be the one who sits in the front, but he can’t bring himself to fight Kihyun for the passenger seat when the vocalist looks so radiantly happy sitting with Hyunwoo. Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Jooheon pile into the very back and launch into another rowdy conversation, so he and Changkyun settle into the middle row.

In the midst of the noise, Changkyun quietly shifts a bit in his seat before he rests his head on Hoseok’s shoulder, molding himself to his side to offer him the comfort of touch. Hoseok knows he’s not supposed to choose favourites, but he — and everyone else — knows Changkyun is his, and it’s these moments that prove why. Grateful for Changkyun’s attention, he relaxes in the warmth emanating from his body. The subtle, alluring scent of Changkyun’s cologne, sprayed on before the concert and somehow still lingering on his skin, teases his nose.

“So, about that chicken—” Kihyun begins as soon as Hyunwoo starts the engine.

“Kihyun-ah, we’re ordering room service,” says Hyunwoo patiently. He pulls the van out of its parking space and directs it to the exit of the parcade.

“But hyung,” Kihyun presses. “There’s this place only two blocks from here. It’s got 4.7 stars, _and_ it has beer-battered chicken.”

Kihyun loves beer-battered chicken, but Hyunwoo’s indifferent. All the same, there’s a short pause and Hoseok knows Hyunwoo is sold. From the way Changkyun subtly perks up beside him, it seems like the younger is aware too.

“Can you direct me there?” Hyunwoo finally says.

“Whipped,” Hoseok whispers mirthfully into Changkyun’s ear. The younger shakes with silent laughter against him.

Kihyun and Minhyuk speak Japanese most proficiently in their group, so Hyunwoo leaves them at the chicken place in charge of placing their order. He then pulls Hoseok out of the van to the adjacent liquor store, where they buy enough beer to inebriate a young elephant. Luckily they have a day’s rest before their final stop in Tokyo, so they can afford to let their hair down a bit. The bored cashier barely spares them a glance as she rings up their large purchase.

“Good thing we’re a rock band and not an idol group,” Hoseok remarks, thinking about how tightly his idol friends’ lives and images were governed. Both his hands are full with cardboard cases, glass bottles clinking invitingly inside and promising a good time ahead.

“I know right? I don’t know a single idol group manager who can go out and buy this much booze with their group,” Hyunwoo laughs.

“No way this would go over well for them, even if they did it abroad.”

They load the cases into the trunk of the van, and Hoseok slides back into his seat beside Changkyun.

“Did you get my favourite?” Changkyun asks eagerly. Hoseok normally doesn’t drink much, so it amuses him that the maknae of the group has such a great enthusiasm for drinking.

“Yes, you brat,” he laughs. “Help us carry it back to the hotel room later.”

The van moves again, and in the glow of the streetlights speeding past them Hoseok glimpses Changkyun licking his lips in anticipation.

Maybe Hoseok will drink tonight after all.

—

Back at the hotel, they deposit the fried chicken and beer into Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Jooheon’s room, order room service, and quickly return to their own rooms to shower.

“You first,” says Hoseok, flopping onto his bed. Changkyun hums in thanks and disappears into the washroom. He zones out — and maybe falls asleep — to the sound of the shower being turned on. A few minutes later, a warm weight dips the mattress beside him, prompting him to crack an eye open. Changkyun is refreshed and relaxed, wearing nothing but an open hotel bathrobe over his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Droplets of water fall from his hair and down his neck.

“Your turn, hyung,” says Changkyun, raking a hand through his wet hair to brush it back.

Hoseok groans and hoists himself up again. He wants to sleep, but his stomach is protesting too loudly. He quickly showers, following Changkyun’s example of staying in his underwear and robe when he exits the bathroom. It’s only going to be the seven of them anyways, and they’ve all seen each other in more extreme states of undress.

When Hoseok and Changkyun join the others, music is already playing from Jooheon’s portable Bluetooth speakers. Jooheon whistles at them from a plush wingback chair.

“Scandalous,” he says mischievously, raising an opened bottle in salutation. “I hope you’re proud of corrupting our maknae to follow your nudist tendencies.”

“Why won’t anyone believe that it was the other way ‘round?” Hoseok laments, and Changkyun snickers.

Hyunwoo and Kihyun are sitting on one of the beds in their pajamas, already digging into the chicken and beer. The cart beside Jooheon’s chair is stacked with mouth-watering dishes delivered by room service.

“Where’re Hyungwon and Minhyuk?” asks Hoseok.

“Still showering,” replies Hyunwoo around a mouthful of food.  

Kihyun meticulously licks sauce from his fingers and chimes, “Those two have no shame.”

“They’re not _doing_ anything in there,” Jooheon replies. He’s still smiling, but it’s absent from his eyes. “They’re just showering. Even Changkyunnie and I showered together back at our old dorms.”

Kihyun shrugs, and Hoseok can see Jooheon’s jaw tightening minutely before—

“Guys, the food’s getting cold,” Hyunwoo interrupts peaceably. “Let’s just eat.”

Wordlessly Changkyun sits down at the head of the other bed and cracks open a beer, which he hands to Hoseok. Hoseok accepts the bottle with a thanks, then kicks off his slippers to join him on the bed.

“Cheers,” Changkyun mutters, clinking their bottles together, and drinks deeply with his head tilted back.

“Pace yourself, brat!” Hoseok scolds. Changkyun sticks his tongue out in response.

Shaking his head, Hoseok pulls a box of chicken towards them and digs in, chasing it down with beer. It’s refreshing, with a nice balance between malty and hoppy notes, and the carbonation dances on his tongue. The tension and stress bleed from his muscles, leaving sore satisfaction in their wake. With a languid sigh, he stretches his legs out and sinks deeper into the bed, making himself more comfortable.

At that moment, Minhyuk and Hyungwon emerge from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, fully dressed in T-shirts and shorts. In Hoseok’s peripheral vision, Jooheon’s shoulders relax and lose their tension.

“Hey guys,” says Hyungwon lazily, wandering to the cart to peruse the selection.

“Sit down, all of you,” says Hoseok. Jooheon settles at the foot of the bed, and Hyungwon promptly joins, bringing a plate of shrimp and a stack of hand towels with him. More bottles are passed around and opened.

“A toast, leader-nim!” Hyunwoo beams proudly at Hoseok.

Hoseok sits up properly and holds his beer in both hands. Everyone stills and waits for him to speak, their faces reflecting the quiet pride that he feels for them.

“You guys worked really hard this year, and tonight was proof of it,” he says, smiling at his six best friends. “Hyunwoo-hyung, thank you. We couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’m so damn proud of you guys, so grateful, and I know we can achieve anything in the world together. The next stop is the last stop of our Japan tour, so let’s finish it with a bang. Cheers to Monsta X!”

“Cheers!” they echo back, knocking their bottles together.

“Oh my god!” Minhyuk coos as he settles down with a plate of pasta. He presses his hands to his cheeks in delight. “Hoseok, Changkyunnie, you look like babies in your matching robes. So cute and fluffy I could die!”

Hoseok laughs in delight and circles his arms around Changkyun’s waist. As always, Changkyun climbs into Hoseok’s lap without a second thought, settling himself comfortably in his hold. For years Hoseok’s doted on their maknae in private like this, and by now nobody in the band bats an eye at their excessive skinship.

“We’re the cutest, aren’t we?” Changkyun dimples.

“Nothing cuter than you in the world,” affirms Jooheon, eyes scrunched into crescents with his smile.

“If only Monbebes could see you guys now,” Kihyun remarks, nudging the boxes of chicken closer to the centre of the bed. “If they screamed when Changkyunnie pinched hyung, how would they react to this?” He gestures at the two of them with a chicken bone.

“They’d probably faint,” Hyungwon jokes.

“Probably,” Hoseok agrees, resting his cheek against Changkyun’s soft neck.

The alcohol is starting to hit him now, lulling his senses into a golden haze. Now that he’s spending time celebrating with his best friends, he feels less sad about saying goodbye to Monbebes until their next meeting. He can fully enjoy the warm elation that fills his heart.  

Eating and drinking with the maknae perched on his lap is by no means convenient, but Changkyun doesn’t seem to want to get off, so Hoseok lets him be. Besides, Changkyun’s weight is familiar and warm, and feels just so comforting to hold in his arms. Were it not for the hunger still gnawing at his stomach, Hoseok thinks he could fall asleep like this.

The others are talking amongst themselves, and Changkyun is satisfied with eating quietly in his hold, so Hoseok contents himself with zoning out while filling his tummy and letting the music and chatter and the buzz of the alcohol wash over him. He lets his mind wander, but occasionally Changkyun feeds him a morsel of food from his chopsticks, which he happily accepts.

“Hmm, no kidding.” Minhyuk’s voice interrupts Hoseok’s thoughts. He’s scrolling on his phone with one hand and shovelling pasta into his mouth with another. “Half the tweets in the ‘Wonkyun’ hashtag are just caps lock key-smashing and UWU-ing.”

“Oo-wooing?” asks Hyunwoo. “What’s that?”

“U-W-U,” Minhyuk spells out. “It’s an emoticon.”

“It makes a cute face like this” adds Kihyun, closing his eyes and smiling.

“Ahh.”

“Were they really that excited?” Changkyun sounds intrigued. He momentarily leans away from Hoseok to fish his phone from his robe pocket, then glues himself back to his chest and opens Twitter. A moment later, he laughs in delight and pats Hoseok’s knee excitedly.

“Hmm?” Hoseok moves his head left and right to try to see the phone before finally moving Changkyun to sit in the space between his thighs. He hooks his chin over the younger’s shoulder to read the screen.

“Hyungie, look,” says Changkyun.   

> **no rights for cucumbers** @minpuppyteeth  
>  Awwwwwwwww wonkyun was so cute tonight!!

Hoseok smiles and reads on.    

> **∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿** @hojjangkyun  
>  WONKYUN UWUWUWUUWUWUWUWUWU
> 
> **비행 mode** @tinysoftstan  
>  name one thing softer than changkyun tying wonho’s shoelaces, i dare u #wonkyun
> 
> **j.⚡️** @bluem00nrabbit  
>  Can wonkyun not do that some of us are single here
> 
> **黑天鵝** @godho  
>  Wonkyun babying each other……. A bitch is crying and that bitch is me……..

Hoseok can’t help but chuckle at Monbebes’ adoring tweets. It’s amazing that simple interactions between him and his bandmates are enough to bring them so much happiness. How lucky is he to have fans that so deeply care for and support their friendships?

Changkyun squirms with joy and begins searching the other members’ names too. He leans back comfortably on Hoseok’s chest and holds his phone up so they can both see.

“Look at this fansite photo of Minhyukkie-hyung and Hyungwonnie-hyung… They look like princes.”

“They really do.”

“Someone wants to send our coordi-noona flowers for putting those gold bobby pins in Jooheon’s hair.”

Hoseok laughs. “Monbebes are so creative with their compliments.”

“Yeah… Kihyunnie-hyung,” says Changkyun, looking up. “Someone called you a vocal god!”

Kihyun is slumped against Hyunwoo with a nearly empty bottle dangling from his fingers. Humming along to the music playing, he looks three sheets to the wind.

“Hyunwoo-hyung,” he slurs, unhearing of Changkyun’s comment. His pink cheeks clash horribly with his purple hair. “Did I do good today? Tell me I did good.”

Hyunwoo smiles indulgently at Kihyun and pats his head. “You did so good today.”

“Are you proud of me?” Kihyun murmurs drunkenly, leaning into Hyunwoo’s touch. Hoseok stares, stunned by Kihyun’s candour. Vaguely he notices Changkyun crossing his arms and sulking at being ignored. Watching Hyunwoo and Kihyun feels like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“Who cares about you when Heonnie was out there with these guns?” Minhyuk snarks, snatching Hoseok’s attention towards the other three. Minhyuk is squeezing Jooheon’s biceps. Their drummer has been attending crossfit sessions and the results are impressive.

“Hyung, quit objectifying me,” Jooheon whines, batting weakly at Minhyuk’s hand. Hoseok smiles, because he knows Jooheon well enough that he can tell that he’s actually preening under Minhyuk’s gaze.

“Take your shirt off,” Minhyuk urges. “Let’s see that chest.”

Jooheon fake-sulks for a moment, before quickly stripping his shirt off and rolling his defined shoulders. Minhyuk whistles lowly and runs a hand down Jooheon’s back. Beside them, Hyungwon is watching them both quietly, his gaze simmering with — jealousy? Hoseok can’t tell, and the uneasy feeling it gives him wipes the smile off his face.

“Everyone’s ignoring me,” Changkyun mutters, twisting around in Hoseok’s lap to pout at him.

“I get that feeling too,” Hoseok muses.

“Let’s get out of here, hyung. We could go back to our room and watch a movie.”

Hoseok licks his lip and weighs his options.

Hyunwoo and Kihyun are in their own world, murmuring quietly to each other while looking deeply into each other’s eyes. The intimacy of the picture makes Hoseok’s heart ache with loneliness, so he turns his eyes to the other three. Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Jooheon are conversing amongst themselves too, leaning against each other with their legs tangled together. The air around them has lost most of the tension that made Hoseok so uneasy, but he still gets the sense that they’re still vying for each other’s attention.

It’s so tempting to dip and leave behind this oppressive atmosphere. Aside from Changkyun, it feels like all of them are preoccupied with one another. There seems to be no point in staying, but comfort and good conversation to be found with Changkyun.

“Or we could go to the courtyard,” the younger continues, fiddling with the sleeve of Hoseok’s robe. “I walked by it this morning after we checked in and it looked really pretty.”

Hoseok makes up his mind and pats Changkyun on the bum. The younger squeaks in surprise.

“Grab a few more beers,” he says. “And a blanket.”

—

They wrap their bottles of beer in throw blankets from their hotel room, then make their way to the courtyard. The hour is late — past midnight — and Hoseok doesn’t anticipate going anywhere else, so he exercises his band leader judgement and leaves his cellphone in their hotel room. If Hyunwoo really needs to find him, he’d be able to by the note Hoseok left on the table.

Hoseok’s had a few to drink, and his steps are unsteady. On the other hand, Changkyun is more used to holding his alcohol, so the younger gamely helps him along with a guiding arm on his waist. From the elevator, they walk through the empty lobby, listening to the _slap slap slap_ of their hotel slippers against the polished tile.

Suddenly, Changkyun snickers.

“What?” asks Hoseok, giggling at the delight in his laughter.

“Look at us,” says Changkyun gleefully. “We’re completely buzzed and stumbling through the hotel in boxers and bathrobes. If we went the idol route…”

“Imagine the minor scandal we’d cause,” Hoseok finishes with a chuckle.

Changkyun pushes open the glass door to the courtyard. “You’d make a perfect idol, though, hyung.”

“Why d’you say that?” asks Hoseok.

He follows Changkyun into the moonlit courtyard and looks around. Changkyun’s right: it’s soothing and beautiful there. The summer air is crisp and cool, perfumed by the flowering trees that grow interspersed in the space. In the shade of the trees sit deep, plush loveseats that beckon them to cozy up with their blankets.

“You have the right look for it, I guess,” says Changkyun. He chooses a nicely situated loveseat that overlooks the courtyard, and pats the cushion before laying his blanket over the chilled surface.

“Go on,” Hoseok teases. They sit on top of the blanket Changkyun’s laid down, and Hoseok throws the other one over their laps.

“Well,” says Changkyun thoughtfully. “You’re charismatic. And hot. And I know you can dance.”

Hoseok laughs and ruffles Changkyun’s hair. “You’re still drunk.”

“I’m _buzzed,_ but am I wrong?” The younger winks cheesily and opens another beer bottle with a bottle opener stashed in his pocket. Hoseok takes the opener from him and cracks open a bottle too.

“Brat.”

They sit in silence with their shoulders touching, watching the foliage around them quiver in the gently stirring air. Hoseok drinks deeply. He feels like he’s floating on the slight breeze.

“It’s not the same anymore,” says Changkyun pensively.

Hoseok’s heart aches, because he knows exactly what is weighing on Changkyun’s mind. He wraps an arm around the younger, hoping to comfort him even if just a little bit.

“I know it’s messy now that everyone’s together… or getting together… but I’m sure things will smooth over soon,” he says, soothingly rubbing Changkyun’s arm. He’s not sure if he believes his own words.

“Hyung…” Changkyun says, turning to face Hoseok. “None of them are together.”

That takes Hoseok aback.

“What are you talking about?” he laughs lightly. “Do you not see the way Hyunwoo and Kihyun look at each other?”

“They’re not together,” Changkyun insists, shaking his head. “Did you ever ask them?”

“I…”

“You didn’t, right?” Changkyun asks kindly. “You thought it was better to wait for them to tell you when they were ready?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re a good man, hyung,” Changkyun murmurs, leaning against his shoulder.

“Am I though?” asks Hoseok. An awful feeling settles in Hoseok’s gut at the realization that he’d made a huge error in assuming details of his bandmates’ lives. He’s their leader, the one they’re supposed to turn to when they’re troubled. How can he be there for them if he doesn’t even know what’s going on in their lives?

“Better than me, at least,” Changkyun chuckles. “I asked Kihyunnie-hyung point-blank to his face. You know how he responded?”

“How?”

“He told me to get out of his room, then locked the door until it was time for dinner.”

“Oh God, did he really?” Their main vocalist had a fiery temper, but this extreme reaction surprised Hoseok.

“Yeah…” Changkyun’s voice is thoughtful. “I think I hit a sore spot.”

“Kihyun has a lot of sore spots,” says Hoseok. He doesn’t mean it in a mean way.

Changkyun is silent as he takes a drag of beer.

“When you keep fighting every fight,” he says finally, “you’ll walk away with a lot of bruises.”

“That’s….” Hoseok doesn’t have the words. Changkyun is many things — kind, mischievous, reclusive, selfless — but his wisdom beyond his years always renders Hoseok speechless.

After a pause, Changkyun continues contemplatively, “I can’t put my finger on Minhyukkie-hyung, Hyungwonnie-hyung, and Jooheon though.”

“I’m not sure I can help you with that one either,” Hoseok sighs, leaning back. His head is floating, and his voice sounds slurred to his own ears. The stars wink at him from the inky sky. “All I know is that they all dated each other at some point or other in college. It was… messy.”

“But they were all good friends after, right?”

Changkyun met them much later, and missed out on the complicated couples those three made. It was a relief to their whole group when they decided to stop dating each other altogether and remain friends.

“Yup.” Hoseok takes a sip of beer and vaguely wonders how hung over he’ll be in the morning. “No beef at all, just really good friends.”

“Don’t feel bad, hyungie,” says Changkyun, patting Hoseok’s knee. “They’re adults. They can handle their own problems. You don’t have to help them through everything.”

Changkyun’s wisdom is flawless yet again, but he doesn’t understand the responsibility Hoseok bears for keeping their band’s dynamic healthy. Yes, those three are perfectly capable of sorting out their feelings, but it’s Hoseok’s job to make sure they do. And so far, he’s failing at that.

Changkyun’s head shifts against his shoulder, tickling his cheek with soft black hair. Suddenly he jerks up.

“Hyung,” he says impishly. “Do you think they were having sex in the shower?”

Hoseok blinks in surprise before laughing out loud. Changkyun is trying to lift his mood again, this time by distracting him from the messy reality.

“I’m asking seriously!” Changkyun is grinning now.

“Hyungwon doesn’t seem like the shower sex type,” Hoseok muses, humouring him. “Minhyuk does, though.”

“So do you think they were fucking?”

“Nah…”

“Blowing each other?”

“Probably not.”

“Handjobs?”

“I don’t think so,” says Hoseok, amused. Helped along by the alcohol, Changkyun’s bizarre attempts to cheer him up are working.

“I just don’t get how they were naked in a tiny hotel shower together without pouncing on each other!” Changkyun exclaims, slapping his palm on the cushion of the chair.

Hoseok giggles, but the strangeness of the conundrum gets him thinking again. From the tidbits that Minhyuk’s told him while drunk, he and Hyungwon had a passionate physical relationship. If Hoseok were in the shower with an attractive ex, he’s not sure he’d be able to keep his hands to himself… unless his heart was in another place.

“Maybe… maybe they feel like something’s missing,” he says, thinking about the way Jooheon’s jaw tightened at Kihyun’s implication, the way Hyungwon’s eyes burned as he watched Minhyuk admiring Jooheon’s body. Was Hyungwon watching Minhyuk or Jooheon?

“Maybe,” Changkyun echoes. “What a mess.”

“What a mess,” Hoseok agrees, clinking their bottles together.

The cool air is beginning to seep through to their skin, and Hoseok can feel Changkyun shivering against him.

“Oh, come here,” he says, gathering Changkyun onto his lap again. They’re both tipsy and their limbs are uncoordinated. Somehow Changkyun ends up having to stabilize himself by wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s neck.

Hoseok stills, and time seems to slow down to a stop. All he can see is what’s in front of him — Changkyun’s face mere centimetres from his own, soft lips parted in surprise at the sudden proximity. Habitually, emotionally, he and Changkyun are so close that they might as well live in each other’s pockets. They’ve never been this _physically_ close. The revelation is simultaneously intriguing, thrilling, and terrifying.

As Hoseok’s field of perception slowly expands to take in the feeling of Changkyun’s chest heaving with breaths against his own and the clean scent of his shampoo, he comes to another electrifying realization.

This feels like the prelude to a kiss.

“Out here in the open?” Changkyun whispers. His breath fans over Hoseok’s face. Hoseok knows he’s referring to their intimate position. They’re never like this in the public’s eye. “People might see.”

“There’s no one here to see,” replies Hoseok. He can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or the situation, but he can feel his heartbeat thrumming on the surface of his skin.

“If people saw,” continues Changkyun, “they might talk.”

Try as Hoseok might, he can’t read Changkyun’s thoughts through his carefully guarded voice.

“What’s there to talk about?” Hoseok breathes back. He doesn’t know where he should look. In Changkyun’s eyes? At his soft, inviting lips? He shouldn’t drag the moment on, but a wild part of him that’s rattling at the bars of its cage wants to know if Changkyun’s thinking the same thing he is.

“They might talk about two men, half-dressed, alone in a courtyard,” says Changkyun. His breathing sounds a touch heavier now, more laboured.

“What are these men doing?” Unconsciously, Hoseok tightens his arms around Changkyun’s waist, drawing him tighter against his chest.

“You tell me, hyung. You pulled me onto your lap. What are we doing?”

The suddenly stark, sober tone of Changkyun’s voice cuts through the golden haze of his buzz and jerks him out of the moment. As he reels from the abrupt transition, he comes to a third, and perhaps most important realization.

He’s drunk.

Changkyun drinks once a week, so he’s built up a good tolerance to alcohol, but the last time Hoseok even contemplated drinking was months ago. His brain is foggy but he knows he’s not in a state where he can make a decision he wouldn’t regret later.

“You were cold, weren’t you?” says Hoseok, forcing an illusion of calm into his voice.

“I was,” says Changkyun. For better or for worse, he doesn’t sound fooled. “I am.”

“What kind of hyung would I be if I didn’t keep you warm?”

“Keep me warm by taking me back to the room,” Changkyun says cheekily after a beat, effectively shattering the intoxicating atmosphere.

Hoseok smiles in relief.

“Your wish is my command,” he says, hoisting the younger up into a teetering princess hold as he stands up.

“Let me down!” Changkyun squeaks, slapping his hands on Hoseok’s arms.

Hoseok laughs and gently sets Changkyun down on the grass. Changkyun pouts adorably and straightens his robe, untying and retying the sash to secure it tightly.

“Let’s go back,” says Hoseok. He gathers their empty bottles, and Changkyun folds the blankets neatly.

“Yeah.”

—

In the dimness of their shared hotel room, they brush their teeth and shed their robes to prepare to sleep.  Hoseok is settled comfortably in his own bed and has turned his bedside lamp off. He’s halfway to dreamland when Changkyun speaks.

“Hey hyung?” His voice is soft and drowsy.

“Hmm?”

“I’m still cold.”

The air is cool on Hoseok’s torso and legs as he quickly rolls out of his bed to slip into Changkyun’s. Under the covers, he tangles their bare legs together, presses his chest to Changkyun’s bare back, and lays an arm over his waist.

Sleep claims them in seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 1 playlist:  
> \- _Destroyer_ by Monsta X  
> \- _Party Time_ by Monsta X  
> \- _No. 1 Party Anthem_ by Arctic Monkeys
> 
> I’m bluem00nrabbit on twt/cc. Come say hi!
> 
> What’s a rock band au without a playlist? Check it out here! It’s updated with each chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to [averyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/averyblue) for beta-ing this chapter!

“Good morning guys wake u— _ oh my God what the fuck!” _

Sunlight is streaming into the room through the window but it’s Minhyuk’s yelping, not the brightness, that awakes Hoseok. 

“My eyes! What the fuck!”

Hoseok rubs his eyes and pulls away from the bare shoulder his cheek is pillowed on to sit up. 

“What the — _ fuckity fuck!” _ screeches Minhyuk, covering his eyes with both hands.

“Quit saying fuck,” Hoseok grunts. Beside him, Changkyun stirs and props himself up onto his elbows. The covers slip down, revealing his bare chest. 

“You guys  _ fucked _ last night!” Minhyuk points a finger accusingly at them. “You finally fucked!”

“We fucked last night?” Changkyun groans, blearily rubbing his eyes. “Hoseokkie-hyung, you should’ve told me.”

“I was hoping you’d tell me,” Hoseok sleepily jokes back. 

“Oh my God — stop!” Minhyuk demands. “What the hell! You both disappeared last night and now you’re naked in the same bed!”

_ Oh. _ Hoseok supposes that  _ might  _ be true. He peeks under the blanket and is relieved to see that neither of them had stripped off their boxers in their drunken state last night. 

“The AC was cold last night, okay? We’re wearing underwear,” he says, then makes to peel the covers off. “Here, look—”

_ “No!” _ Minhyuk slaps a hand over his eyes and thrusts a palm towards them. “I do  _ not _ want to see your morning wood. Save that for each other.” 

With that, he storms out of the room in a flurry, slamming the door behind him.

Hoseok and Changkyun regard each other for a moment, then burst into laughter. 

“God.” Hoseok wipes a tear from his eye. “He’s projecting so hard.”

“Poor guy,” Changkyun giggles. “His balls are so blue that he thinks everyone’s fucking but him.”

Changkyun stretches his arms, cat-like, to the ceiling. “Man, what a mood. It’s been so long since I got laid, I can’t even remember what dick feels like.”

Hoseok chuckles at the truth of the statement. When was the last time he felt the pleasure of another body rocking against his? “Same…”

Something murmurs in the back of his mind. The memory of Changkyun curled up on his lap in the courtyard last night resurfaces, blurry as though viewed through the surface of rippling waters. He blinks in surprise, but details of the moment slip away from him like sand through open fingers.

“D’you wanna wash up first?” asks Changkyun, sliding back down under the covers. 

“Uh — sure,” says Hoseok, giving himself a shake. As he stands up and stretches out his muscles, Changkyun ducks back under the blanket, fully submerging his head in its depths.

In the washroom, he stares at himself in the mirror for a few seconds before reaching for his toothbrush. As he expected, his face is puffy from sleep and last night’s drinking. Luckily, the only thing they have to do today is take the train to Tokyo. He’ll have all day to let the swelling subside while he enjoys himself in the capital city.

—

On the Shinkansen to Tokyo, Changkyun opts to sit with Jooheon, leaving Hoseok sitting next to their manager for the one-hour journey. 

“So,” Hyunwoo begins. 

“Yeah?” replies Hoseok. 

“You and Changkyunnie… uh…” Hyunwoo eyes Hoseok awkwardly. 

Hoseok sighs. “Did Minhyuk say something?”

Hyunwoo lowers his voice to a mutter. “He told Kihyunnie that you two slept together last night and Kihyunnie told me.” 

Hoseok purses his lips.  _ Minhyuk and his big mouth. _

“Did he tell you that’s  _ all _ we were doing?”

“Well, no,” says Hyunwoo. “He says he found you guys sleeping naked together. Hoseok-ah, I can’t say I’m surprised, but I hope you know I support—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Hoseok quietly grouses, rolling his eyes. “I offered to show Minhyuk that I was wearing underwear but he didn’t want to see it.”

“Um—”

“Changkyunnie and I dipped because you guys were all preoccupied with each other. We went to the courtyard, drank a bit more—”

(‘A bit’ might be an understatement.) 

“—then went back to our room, and slept — we only slept! — in the same bed because we were cold. We didn’t have sex!” he finishes in a whisper-shout. 

“Okay, I get it!” Hyunwoo says placatingly before fixing him with a serious look. “But can you try to see why we’d think you did?” 

“What? Why?”

“You and Changkyunnie can’t keep your hands off each other.”

Hoseok pauses, taken aback by the stark, simple truth of Hyunwoo’s statement. Is that what everyone’s been thinking the whole time? 

“Yeah, but it’s not  _ sexual.” _

The words pop out of Hoseok’s mouth without much thought, like a default answer that’s the right thing to say. Hoseokkie, did you eat the cookies even though I said you can’t? No, Eomma, I didn’t. Hoseok, are you perhaps attracted to the maknae? No, of course not.

But there’s something how Hyunwoo glances at Hoseok one last time that rubs him the wrong way, makes him question himself, but luckily Hyunwoo says no more. 

Hoseok doesn’t know why he feels relieved. 

—

For better or for worse, they keep the same rooming arrangements when they check into their accommodations in Tokyo later that morning. To celebrate the end of their Japan tour, they decided to splurge on two nights in a nicer hotel, complete with a gym, pool, hot tub, and sauna that are open around the clock for guests to use. Hoseok’s excited for the hot tub — a nice soak after their concert the next day would feel like heaven. 

As soon as they step into their shared room, Changkyun makes a beeline straight for the bed closest to the door and flops face-down onto it.

“Sleeping again?” Hoseok asks in amusement, wheeling his suitcase to an out-of-the-way corner. He gives Changkyun’s butt a playful spank, drawing a whine from the younger.

“I’m testing out the bed.” Changkyun’s reply comes out muffled by the covers. He rolls over onto his back and kicks his feet against the side of the bed. “I want to go sightseeing.”

“What do you want to see?”

“Hmm,” says Changkyun. A little smile dances on his lips. “The shrines, for sure. Oh!” 

He bounces up and begins searching something on his phone. Hoseok sits down on the bed next to him and waits. 

“Hyungie, look!” Changkyun drops his cheek on Hoseok’s shoulder and shows him the phone screen. “We’re here just in time for the Ueno Park Natsu Matsuri.”

“Perfect. Let’s go tonight after sightseeing,” Hoseok says immediately. The delight that crosses Changkyun’s face brings a smile to Hoseok’s own.

“Oooh, a hot date with hyung,” says Changkyun in a teasingly flirtatious tone. “I better look the part, then.”

Affection and excitement wash over Hoseok’s heart as he watches Changkyun eagerly hop up and begin rummaging through his suitcase. He decides to do the same too. With their backs barely turned to each other, they quickly change into nicer clothes. Hoseok’s just finished lacing his shoes when a burst of fresh scent hits his nose.

Changkyun is tilting his head back, spraying cologne onto the column of his throat. After checking his reflection one last time in the full-length mirror, he turns to Hoseok with a smile.

“Shall we?”

—

Although their Japanese is nowhere near as good as Minhyuk’s, they get by well enough on Hoseok’s survival tourist vocabulary and Changkyun’s fluent English to make it to their destination by early afternoon. 

Japan is in the full height of summer, but there’s a light wind that chases away the unbearable heat. It’s a perfect day for sightseeing and enjoying the sun, and it looks like they aren’t the only ones of such a mind. Everywhere — at train stations, on the sidewalks — are families and groups of friends and couples milling about. It’s unimaginable that anyone would want to spend such a beautiful day shopping indoors (like Kihyun, Minhyuk, and Hyungwon), or hopping from restaurant to restaurant (Hyunwoo and Jooheon). Hoseok is grateful for Changkyun’s invitation — he knows how much the younger likes spending time alone. But today, Changkyun has Google Maps open on his phone and is eager to lead the way, so Hoseok happily follows him after they exit Akasaka Station. 

“This way,” says Changkyun. The breeze stirs in his hair, lifting his bangs away from his face as he points down a sidewalk shaded by swaying trees. 

“Aren’t we going to Hie Shrine? It’s the other way, though,” says Hoseok, following Changkyun down the road. “Where are you taking us?”

“It’s a surprise.” Changkyun smiles mysteriously.

They stop in front of a restaurant and Changkyun guides him in with a hand on the small of his back. It’s a common gesture they often share, but Hyunwoo’s implications on the train ride make Hoseok think of it in a whole new way. There’s a gentlemanly, almost possessive air in the way Changkyun’s hand presses there and trails to his waist.

The chef behind the counter looks up as she places a bowl of ramen on the counter. 

_ “Irasshaimase!” _ she calls out and points them at a tiny table by the window. 

“Here we are,” says Changkyun proudly as they sit down. “Lunch.”

Hoseok beams and picks up a menu. “This is so nice, Changkyun-ah. How did you know about this place?”

“I searched it up while we were taking the Shinkansen here,” replies Changkyun, perusing the menu. He taps a painted fingernail on one of the pictures. “This is supposed to be their speciality.”

“I’ll have that one, then,” says Hoseok. 

Changkyun dimples at him, then quietly orders their food in Japanese from the waiter who brings their tea. When the waiter leaves, he peers curiously at Hoseok. 

“What were you and Hyunwoo-hyung muttering about on the train?” he asks.

Hoseok takes a sip from his cup, hissing as the liquid burns his tongue. “You saw?” 

“Yeah,” says Changkyun. Hoseok can tell by the tilt of his head that he’s worried. “You looked kind of pissed off.”

“I wasn’t pissed off, really, just a bit annoyed,” says Hoseok soothingly. Worry for how Changkyun might take what he’s about to say stirs faintly in his gut. “Hyunwoo — ah — he thought we were sleeping together last night.”

He pauses to watch Changkyun’s reaction. In the morning, Changkyun had joked at Minhyuk’s assumption, but how will he feel knowing basically the entire band now thinks they’re sexually intimate? 

Changkyun’s face relaxes into an amused smile.

“Well, we were sleeping together, weren’t we?” Changkyun impishly replies.

Hoseok grins in relief and kicks Changkyun lightly under the table. “You know what I mean.”

“So basically Minhyuk told everyone we fucked last night.” Changkyun’s voice dips salaciously, emulating a low, bedroomy rumble that quickens Hoseok’s heartbeat just a touch. Changkyun then laughs quietly, kicking back at the foot that’s resting on top of his own. His mirth is infectious, and Hoseok can’t help but smile too. 

“Yes, and now the whole band thinks we fucked, too.” 

Changkyun playfully hooks an ankle around Hoseok’s and gives it a little shake. 

“Is that so bad?” he asks, smiling coyly. Hoseok’s breath hitches a little at the implication. However, Changkyun’s smile melts into something comforting as he continues. “There are worse things they could be saying about us.”

Feeling like he’s been pushed off-balance, Hoseok nods in agreement. He can’t help but blurt out, “Like what?”

Changkyun pauses. “They didn’t assume we did something that broke their trust.”

“That’s true,” Hoseok muses. 

The waiter returns with their ramen, drinks, and side dishes, cutting their discussion short.

“Thank you,” Changkyun says to the waiter, then nudges one of the bottles towards Hoseok. The condensation on its chilled surface wets his fingers as he picks it up.

Changkyun taps his soda against Hoseok’s. “Cheers, hyung.”

“Cheers.”

“Dig in before it gets cold,” Changkyun directs, handing him a pair of chopsticks. 

Under Changkyun’s anticipating gaze, Hoseok picks up a steaming bundle of noodles as directed. The savoury aroma that hits his nose is absolutely heavenly, and he quickly blows on them before taking a bite. 

“Oh. Oh my God.” 

Changkyun beams and nudges his legs against Hoseok’s again. “It’s really good!” 

_ “So _ good!” 

Changkyun grins. “I’m glad we came here, then!”

Hoseok warms at Changkyun’s enthusiastic reaction. It’s been a while since they’ve had a one-on-one meal together. For the entire duration of their Japanese tour, they’ve either all gone out for meals as a group or had other members tag along, so it’s nice to be able to eat quietly together with him. It’s a bonus that Changkyun eats neatly and elegantly, but Hoseok wouldn’t mind if he were as messy as the other members either. With food this good, he’d understand.

The broth is rich and creamy without being greasy, and the noodles have just the right firmness and bounciness to the bite. Hoseok eagerly picks up another chopstickful and slurps them up. The grilled chashu is just as divine as the ramen with the way it melts on Hoseok’s tongue, so he picks up a piece and holds it out for Changkyun to eat, cupping a hand underneath in case it falls. 

“Ahh,” he directs. Changkyun blinks at him before opening his mouth to accept the morsel, delicately wrapping his lips around it to take it into his mouth. It’s an image that invites unchaste thoughts to Hoseok’s mind, not helped one bit by the innuendos dropped by Changkyun earlier, nor the little moan of appreciation he lets out. Hoseok feels like he’s been caught staring when Changkyun looks back up again and beams.

The rest of the meal is lighthearted, but something stirs in the murky waters in the back of his mind, drifting closer to the surface, calling for attention, but still lurking out of sight. Hoseok ignores it in favour of focusing on the meal and conversation.

Twenty minutes later, the bill gets snatched up by Changkyun’s agile fingers the moment it lands on the table in its little plastic tray.

“What — no!” says Hoseok, gripping Changkyun’s hand. “Let hyung pay.”

Changkyun raises a finger in a ‘stop’ motion and gently eases the bill from Hoseok’s hold. “I brought you here, so I should pay.”

Changkyun’s logic is sound, but Hoseok’s not content to let this pass without a fight. Time to give as good as he got.

He smiles deviously and says, “You realize what’s going to happen, right?”

Changkyun’s eyes widen in confusion. “What’s going to happen?”

“I’ll just have to spoil you for the rest of the day,” Hoseok answers simply. 

Changkyun’s mouth falls open in surprise, then shifts into a mischievous smile. 

“I look forward to it.”

— 

Hie Shrine is nestled upon a wooded hill, obscured from the road by thick foliage pressing up against the imposing, charcoal-black  _ torii _ gate that marks its entrance. Hoseok breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of the dense shade provided by the trees. He made sure to slather his pale skin in sunscreen in the morning, but he’s starting to feel a bit toasted. 

Despite the blissfully cool air and the magnificence of the space surrounding them, not many people are there to sightsee or pray, which means they’ll get to explore in peace. That’s especially good because Changkyun’s clutching Hoseok’s arm and positively vibrating with excitement as they approach the many smaller, fiery red  _ torii _ that arch over the concrete stairs leading to the still-hidden shrine. 

“Crazy how there’s something as old as this in the middle of the city,” Hoseok remarks.

“Yeah, I know right? Wow, there’s hardly anyone here,” Changkyun whispers, cheeks dimpling with enthusiasm. 

Hoseok smiles at the joy that illuminates Changkyun’s face. The maknae really is handsome when he smiles like that.

“Go ahead, Kyun,” he says lowly. There’s no earthly need to be so quiet, but the serenity of the space seems to command it. “I’ll take pictures for you.” 

“Ahh, thanks hyung!” 

There’s another young couple — two women — taking photos of each other beneath the  _ torii, _ so they stand to the side and wait. When Hoseok sees the couple hesitantly eyeing them, he steps up and offers to take their photos in shaky Japanese, prompting smiles of delight.

_ “Hai, ichi, ni, san—” _

They lean lovingly against each other for a couple photos, then plant kisses on each other’s cheeks for several more. Hoseok’s heart warms at the tender scene, but twinges with longing too.

With smiles of gratitude and joyful eyes darting between Hoseok and Changkyun, the women pass on ahead to the shrine proper. Changkyun hands Hoseok his phone and jogs ahead to the spot they vacate.  

“Make me look tall,” Changkyun directs before sticking a hand into the pocket of his shorts and turning to show his handsome side profile. It’s amazing how such a simple pose makes him look so chic. 

“We’re the same height, brat. Are you calling me short too?” Hoseok retorts humorously. He gamely crouches down and photographs Changkyun at an upward angle. 

“Nuh-uh.” Changkyun gives a few more standing poses before sitting down on the steps. His shorts hitch up from the position, baring the smooth skin of his thighs. “You’ve got like two centimetres on me. That’s basically an inch. Plus you’re bigger.”

Hoseok shifts his angle to adjust for the change in height. The dappled light falls on Changkyun’s bare legs, bringing out the definition of his muscles. 

“True,” says Hoseok, snapping away. Changkyun tilts his head back a fraction and runs a hand through his hair, emphasizing the long, elegant lines of his throat and torso.

“But you’re looking broad these days since we started working out together,” Hoseok continues. Changkyun smiles cockily in response. Hoseok’s almost envious with how quickly Changkyun’s achieved results, and Changkyun’s none too humble about it either, to the amusement of the whole band. “Thicker than a Snickers. Oh  _ yeah, _ that was hot. Do that.”

Changkyun assumes the same expression again, raising a pierced eyebrow sultrily at the camera and smirking slightly. Hoseok’s breath hitches slightly in his chest, but before he can dwell on it, Changkyun decides he’s done and holds his hand out for his phone.

“Don’t post now or we might get swarmed,” Hoseok warns as Changkyun peruses the photos, humming happily. He’s gratified when Changkyun stops on a photo that he especially likes — seated, smirking devilishly — and marks it as a favourite.  

“Yeah, I know. Your turn.” Changkyun holds out his hand, palm up.

Hoseok promptly hands Changkyun his phone and poses beneath the  _ torii. _ It’s a routine they established when a Twitter account was opened for their group, and when they were allowed to make their separate Instagram accounts known to their fans. They all take pictures for each other, but Changkyun undeniably knows Hoseok’s angles best. 

“Fuck yeah, hyung,” Changkyun murmurs, glancing appreciatively at Hoseok’s body. Hoseok’s lips twitch in amusement, but he holds his composure as he cycles through his default poses. 

“Okay, now turn around. The lighting makes your back look great.”

“You’re just staring at my ass now,” Hoseok whines jokingly, looking over his shoulder. Changkyun gestures for him to hold that pose, so he relaxes his expression and gazes at the camera.

“Do you blame me?” comes Changkyun’s coy, almost sensuous reply. Hoseok’s heart skips a beat. When he preens at the compliment and arches his back just a touch, Changkyun bites his bottom lip. His voice comes out a little huskier as he continues, “Don’t answer that.”

Hoseok obliges, waiting patiently and changing his poses as Changkyun continues snapping pics. Changkyun’s never been shy about complimenting Hoseok’s physique, but today’s the first time it occurs to Hoseok that he really enjoys having the younger’s eyes on him.  

“Okay, this is The One,” Changkyun announces proudly a moment later. “The only picture that matters in this world. You have to post this one later.” 

He walks up to Hoseok and shows him the picture, draping himself all over Hoseok’s side as Hoseok looks at the pictures. It’s a hell of a stretch to call it ‘the only picture that matters in the world,’ but Hoseok is reminded once more of how Changkyun knows his angles best. His expression is candid, and his posture is relaxed and unstudied. 

“I look good,” Hoseok muses.

Changkyun’s hand wanders to Hoseok’s waist and rests there, fingers pressing lightly into his flesh. Hoseok likes how it feels.

“I told you. You always look good,” says Changkyun, voice dipping low. 

Feeling emboldened, Hoseok turns to Changkyun and drinks in his cocky smile. Returning the smirk, he asks, “Is that a personal opinion or a general observation?” 

Changkyun huffs a surprised laugh. “Who knows?”

His eyes linger on Hoseok’s face for another heated moment before he adds, “Lee Hoseok, the Nation’s Boyfriend.” 

“I’m pretty sure that title’s been claimed by Chanyeol-sunbaenim,” Hoseok says, transfixed. 

“The Nation’s Heartbreaker, then.” Changkyun gives Hoseok’s ass a squeeze, then begins pushing him up the stairs. “Let’s  _ go, _ hyung.”

The steps are narrow, but they still crowd against each other to climb them side by side. Changkyun nearly trips, so Hoseok stabilizes him with an arm around his waist, drawing the younger close to his side. Changkyun holds onto him too, pressing close and immersing Hoseok in the subtle cloud of his cologne. Slowly they ascend, with their eyes turned upwards and the sound of insects and rustling leaves filling their ears. 

Despite the sheer simplicity of the  _ torii, _ Hoseok is dazzled by the tranquil, liminal atmosphere they create. Walking through the stripes of sunlight that fall between each gate, he doesn’t feel like Wonho, guitarist and leader of Monsta X. He feels like Lee Hoseok, a man on vacation with his favourite dongsaeng Im Changkyun. Beside him, Changkyun is silent with admiration. At the top, they pass through shaded walkways until they reach the pavilion of the temple. 

Hoseok lets his arm fall from its hold on Changkyun’s waist as he looks around. 

“Is this a popular date spot or something?” he asks. Compared to the streets outside, Hie Shrine is unusually replete with couples. 

“Huh,” says Changkyun, following Hoseok’s gaze. He pulls out his phone and starts tapping away. “It says here that people come here to pray for happy relationships.”

“Oh.” That explains everything. 

All around them, pairs are smiling tenderly at each other; individual men and women are praying quietly with heads bowed before the shrine’s offering box. It tugs sweetly at Hoseok’s heartstrings to see so many people quietly celebrating their love, believing in their love, and pouring their hopes into their love. His eyes fall onto a couple leaning close to each other as they hang a wooden  _ ema _ plaque, inscribed in black ink with their wishes, onto a wall. He can’t help but wonder when his time will come. 

Changkyun looks around, taking stock of the sight before them, before turning to Hoseok. 

“Love is cool and all,” he says seriously, “but this shrine’s supposed to have a sword that’s one of Japan’s National Treasures and a  _ naginata.” _

“Like the ones in  _ Mononoke Hime?” _ Hoseok asks, perking up.  

“I’m—” Changkyun blinks, nonplussed. “Why am I not surprised you’d relate it to an anime movie?”

Hoseok quirks a smile and shrugs.

“Anyways, it’s one of those pole weapons that samurai used,” Changkyun explains, gently tugging Hoseok by the hand. “I really hope they’re on display…”

—

After Hie Shrine, Changkyun drags Hoseok to other shrines in the vicinity of Akasaka Station, but none of them make as big an impression upon Hoseok as Hie Shrine did. Nevertheless, he finds himself immensely enjoying the unexpected gift of relaxation the outing provides.

When the sun begins its arching descent toward the horizon, Changkyun turns to Hoseok with a content smile. “Thanks for coming with me today, hyung. I hope you weren’t too bored.”

“How could I be bored when I’m with you?” Hoseok responds with a grin. 

Changkyun shoots him another grateful smile before checking his watch. “We should get going to the park. We won’t be able to avoid rush hour, though.”

Surely enough, the station is filled to the brim with people trotting quickly through the tiled halls to board the train. Hoseok and Changkyun adopt their pace and walk closer together, shoulders brushing, to avoid being separated.

The twenty-minute train ride to Ueno Station is equally crowded, forcing them to step into each other’s space as more and more people pile in. When they find themselves almost chest-to-chest with each other with no room to step away, Changkyun blinks at Hoseok before hiding his face in Hoseok’s neck. 

They hug all the time, and they’re often even touchier than this, so Hoseok isn’t sure why Changkyun is acting shy now. Nevertheless, it’s really cute, and he can’t help but to rib Changkyun for it. After quickly darting a glance around them to see if anyone’s watching, he leans forward and places his lips by Changkyun’s ear.

“Are you sleepy already?” Hoseok teases. “The day’s not even over.”

Wisps of Changkyun’s cologne, subtle and fresh, still linger on his neck and tickle Hoseok’s senses. The scent’s been slowly luring Hoseok in all day, and a sudden urge to chase it to its source hits him out of nowhere. 

“I’m not sleepy,” Changkyun retorts. Hoseok’s chest stirs as his hot breath ghosts over his neck.

“I sure hope not. I didn’t even get to spoil you yet,” Hoseok murmurs. His hand instinctively wanders to Changkyun’s waist — just in time, for not a second later, another passenger bumps into Changkyun from behind, forcing him to press closer against Hoseok’s chest. 

Changkyun’s hands land on his hips, gripping firmly to steady himself as the train swerves. 

“I hope you’re feeling generous because I’m starting to get hungry again,” Changkyun says mischievously, looking back up.

_ Oh. _

They’re close. Their faces are so close that he can feel Changkyun’s breath on his lips now, exhilaratingly foreign but somehow familiar. Hoseok is simultaneously grateful and frustrated that they’re surrounded by so many people, because his heartbeat is skyrocketing and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

Changkyun’s expression has melted from mischief to — something else. Taking in his wide eyes and parted lips, Hoseok realizes that Changkyun is equally thrown off-centre by the closeness. Suddenly the air between them feels a little bit heavier, a little bit hotter.

As he stands there, chest flush with Changkyun’s, mesmerized by the proximity and how his hand fits into the groove of Changkyun’s waist perfectly, he’s hit by several major revelations.

Changkyun’s  _ really _ fucking hot.

Hoseok’s turned on. 

And he likes it.

He decides to throw caution to the wind.

“I am nothing if not generous,” he whispers, tightening his hold infinitesimally on Changkyun’s waist, waiting to gauge his reaction. 

To his immense satisfaction, Changkyun smirks back a beat later. “Good.”

Hands wander along Hoseok’s sides and fingers brush the waistband of his shorts, teasing the skin there. If Hoseok’s own hands find their way under Changkyun’s shirt to the bare skin of the small of his back, neither man says anything about it.

There, on that crowded train surrounded by oblivious passengers, they press against each other, breathe in each other’s air. As Hoseok luxuriates in Changkyun’s attention, a small part of him wonders if it had always been a matter of time before their touches became more than platonic. 

—

Hoseok’s glad he withdrew more Japanese yen than he thought he’d need because Changkyun’s not joking about feeling hungry. Hoseok’s getting ravenous too, so he buys yakisoba and okonomiyaki, which they eat while tangling their legs together underneath the picnic table. After their quick dinner Changkyun wants takoyaki, so Hoseok buys a half-dozen of them, hot and piping on their little paper tray and sprinkled with quivering bonito flakes. When Changkyun taps on Hoseok’s arm and points at a tornado potato stand, Hoseok takes out his wallet and spends too much on spiral-cut, deep-fried, seasoned potatoes. 

Spoiling Changkyun has always been fun for Hoseok. Changkyun’s uncommonly sweet and considerate, so if anyone in the band deserves special treatment, it’s him for sure. It’d be easy to lie and say that it’s all selfless on Hoseok’s part, but Mama Shin didn’t raise a liar. The smiles he receives for treating Changkyun to a meal or letting him sit on his lap are a more effective pick-me-up than — well, anything he can think of in the moment. 

So yes, spoiling Changkyun is great, and Hoseok’s more selfish than he’d like to admit, but under the cover of the darkening sky, he feels especially selfish. It’s like the moment on the train flipped a switch. Changkyun —  _ the little demon _ — takes everything he knows and cranks it to a new level, and Hoseok’s greedy for it. Nothing is as delicious as how the food tastes when Changkyun feeds it to him with eyes fixed to his lips. Nothing feels more satisfying than their hands on each other’s waists and hips as they walk along the crowded pavement, perusing the food and game stalls. Nothing sounds better than Changkyun’s voice, deep and velvety, as he leans too close to speak. 

“Hyung, I want something sweet,” Changkyun murmurs, lips brushing against Hoseok’s ear, sending sparks running down his spine. God, when did he learn to use his voice like that? Changkyun’s hand is still resting on Hoseok’s side where it had been as they made their way through the park grounds. 

“Hmm?” Hoseok leans closer too, no longer shy about breathing in Changkyun’s scent. He massages his thumb into Changkyun’s soft soft waist, relishing in the barely audible hitch of breath it elicits. “Tell hyung what you want.”

“Ice cream.”

So Hoseok buys vanilla soft serve and almost moans aloud when Changkyun grips the wrist of his hand that’s holding the cone and licks a long, fat stripe out of the swirling tower of ice cream. A riot of thoughts explodes in his head —  _ Maknae?! What the hell?! _ and  _ Wow that escalated quickly  _ and  _ God, I need to get laid. _

It really doesn’t help that Changkyun’s pressing and rubbing his thumb on the sensitive skin of Hoseok’s wrist as if squeezing  _ another _ more sensitive appendage. The way his pink tongue stretches out to caress the cold treat plants filthy images in Hoseok’s mind that only grow filthier when Changkyun hums in appreciation and pulls back to lick the remnants of ice cream from his lips. 

If Changkyun’s intention is to rile Hoseok up and get his dick twitching in his pants, then he’s achieved his goal and Hoseok thinks he might die from the tension. If Hoseok’s been imagining the flirting this entire time because he’s so pent up, he also thinks he might die. Either way, death seems inevitable and it looks like Im Changkyun staring him down while laving his beautiful tongue over a cone of soft serve like it’s Hoseok’s cock.

Changkyun slowly licks his lips again, staring at Hoseok, silently daring him to speak.

“God, Kyun, you’re—”

“Hoseok-hyung! Changkyunnie!”

Hoseok jumps in surprise, nearly dropping the cone if not for Changkyun’s nimble hand easing it out of his at the last second. As he turns towards the source of the sound, he glimpses a miniscule smirk curving the younger’s lips. 

“Yo, hyung!” shouts Jooheon. “Changkyunnieeee!”

It’s the rest of the band plus Hyunwoo walking up to them with bright smiles on their faces and snacks in their hands. They couldn’t have interrupted at a better time because Hoseok’s not sure if he can endure another second of Changkyun’s antics without popping the most ill-advised boner right there in the park. 

“Hey guys,” Changkyun calls back, sounding completely relaxed and unfazed.

_ Brat, _ thinks Hoseok. He tilts his head back, calming himself with a deep breath, before raising an arm to wave at the others. 

“Funny how we all ended up here,” says Kihyun, waving a yakitori skewer. Minhyuk flinches in disgust as it flies too close to his face. 

“When did you guys get here?” asks Minhyuk.

“Just before sunset,” says Changkyun, skipping ahead to greet them. “Look, hyungie got me ice cream.”

_ That you immediately proceeded to torture me with, you little demon. _

“Before dinner?” Kihyun frowns dubiously.

Hoseok follows behind more leisurely. “We had dinner already. What about you guys?” 

“Not yet. Jooheonnie and I got here twenty minutes ago,” says Hyunwoo. “We ran into the others by the takoyaki stand just now.”

“We haven’t had dinner yet either,” Hyungwon sighs, lazily raking his hair back from his face. “There’s too many options.”

“Here, jagi,” says Jooheon, holding out a takoyaki on a toothpick. Hyungwon lets Jooheon feed it to him with a hum. 

“Heonnie, what about me?” Minhyuk pouts, pointing childishly at himself. 

“You too, hyung.”

Minhyuk accepts the proffered treat, but still looks disgruntled. Hoseok wonders if it’s because Jooheon didn’t  _ jagi _ him as well. 

“Kihyun-ah, did you see anything you wanted to eat?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“There was a stall with ramen burgers…” Kihyun replies, chewing pensively on his yakitori. His cheeks look pink even in the dimming light. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes scrunch up into crescents. “That sounds good, let’s go.” 

“Hoseok-hyung, what did you guys eat?” Hyungwon asks. 

“Yakisoba and okonomiyaki,” replies Hoseok. He’s not thinking about how they practically fed half the meal to each other while playing footsie under the table.

“And takoyaki and tornado potato,” Changkyun supplements, licking happily at his cone. Hoseok resolutely averts his eyes. “I think they’re all in the same area.”

The others murmur between them and begin making their way in the direction Changkyun points. Hoseok and Changkyun find themselves bringing up the rear, walking side by side by side with a foot of space between them. 

“What were you about to say when we got interrupted?” Changkyun asks. 

“Hmm?” Hoseok can’t remember now. All he remembers is feeling like he was going to die on the spot. 

“You said something,” replies Changkyun, peering curiously at him. “You said, ‘God, Kyun, you’re—’ then you got cut off.”

_Ah._ _‘God, Kyun, you’re killing me.’_

“I was about to say ‘God, Kyun, you’re old enough to hold your own damn ice cream,’” Hoseok jokes. It wouldn’t do to let Changkyun have the upper hand for too long.     

Changkyun clearly doesn’t buy it, for a devilish smirk spreads over his face. “Really, now.” 

“Really,” Hoseok replies, grinning. 

Changkyun’s eyes linger flirtatiously on Hoseok as he raises his ice cream to his lips again. Instead of looking away this time, Hoseok defiantly holds his gaze until the younger finally averts his eyes.

“Ah, for fuck’s sake,” Changkyun says a moment later. “Look at them, they’re shameless.”

Hoseok chokes on a laugh. It’s really rich for Changkyun to call the others shameless, considering all the touching and eye-fucking and sexually charged eating he subjected Hoseok to over the course of the evening. If that’s not the definition of shameless, Hoseok’s not sure what is. 

He’s about to tell Changkyun this too, but as he watches their bandmates —  _ really _ watches them — he can see where his misguided utterance comes from. 

Ahead of them, Hyungwon’s got his arms draped over Minhyuk and Jooheon’s shoulders. Minhyuk says something that makes Hyungwon light up with laughter and bump their foreheads together, just like he used to when they were dating in uni. Hyunwoo and Kihyun are walking side by side, hands brushing tentatively in a way that simply could not be accidental. 

“Just hold hands already, you cowards,” Changkyun hisses. “Ugh, I can’t watch this.”

“I know, right?” Hoseok laughs quietly, but it feels hollow. 

Watching his closest friends draw closer and closer to each other fills him with a bittersweet feeling. He’s happy that they’re slowly discovering — or rediscovering, in the trio’s case — their respective romances, but he can’t help but worry that they’re slowly drifting ahead and leaving him behind. 

A deep-seated anxiety stirs faintly inside Hoseok; one that keeps him awake once in a blue moon. What is he doing with his life? As much faith as he has in the strength of their bonds, he knows that one day the others will want to move on with their lives, forge their own careers outside of Monsta X, maybe even settle down and have children. That would be the dream.

But what about him? When they’ve all gone their separate ways, will Hoseok be walking alone? He’s loathe to admit it, but he’s self-aware enough to know that solitude terrifies him. He loves his bandmates, his family members, and his friends, but he knows they’re not  _ with _ him the way a life partner would be. But where to find such a person? He doesn’t have time to build a relationship, let alone find someone who can see past his fame to build it with.

The others have branched away, queuing in front of different food stands, leaving Hoseok and Changkyun standing by an empty picnic table. Changkyun mutters something and wanders off too, so Hoseok absentmindedly sits down and stares into space.

_ “Oooh, a hot date with hyung,” _ Changkyun’s teasing voice echoes in his mind. 

Hoseok can’t deny that his outing with Changkyun’s been more fun than he’s had off-stage lately. The food was good, and the activities were just to his taste. And the teasing that escalated throughout the day’s been  _ so _ satisfying. He doesn’t know how far he’s willing to take it, or how far Changkyun’s willing to go, but it’s been exhilarating just being able to let (a tiny bit) loose and  _ express _ the fact that he’s a red-blooded man with sexual desires.  

And yet, at the end of the day, none of that took him where he wants to go. Flirting — or whatever he’s doing — with Changkyun is enjoyable and all, but it’s empty and won’t lead to anything fulfilling. 

Hoseok sighs glumly, resting his chin on his palm. All of a sudden, he can’t wait to return to Seoul — at least there he could have some space and not be forced to watch the others’ burgeoning romances. 

A finger pokes Hoseok’s cheek, popping his bubble of contemplation. Hoseok jumps in surprise.

“It’s just me, hyung,” says Changkyun, smiling in amusement. 

“Sorry,” Hoseok replies, smiling apologetically. “I was lost in thought.”

“I know,” replies Changkyun. “Hold out your hand.”

Wondering what Changkyun is up to this time, Hoseok obeys, extending his palm out. Changkyun drops something into its centre. 

To Hoseok’s surprise, it’s a beautiful, fat daifuku, perfectly round in its little paper cup. Its mochi skin, dusted with powdered sugar, is so thin that he can see the chocolate and strawberry filling inside. 

“For me?” Hoseok breathes in wonder. Changkyun nods. “How come?”

“It reminded me of your cheeks,” Changkyun says noncommittally. 

Hoseok laughs in delight. “Are you calling my cheeks fat?”

“No, hyung!” Changkyun’s lips twitch. “Learn to take a compliment.”

“Thank you, Changkyun-ah, for the daifuku and the compliment.” Hoseok smiles at the confection before raising it to his lips for a bite. It tastes like an explosion of fresh fruit and smooth chocolate. The sweet flavour lifts his spirits, but not quite as much as the surprise of being gifted a treat from Changkyun just as his mood was taking a downturn. 

“Good?” Changkyun asks, attentively watching Hoseok’s reaction.

“It’s really good. Do you want some?”

“No thanks, hyung,” says Changkyun, shaking his head. “I’m full.”

“If you’re sure,” says Hoseok before taking another bite. Changkyun waits patiently as Hoseok finishes the treat.

“We should head back to the hotel first,” says Hoseok, dusting his fingers off. He feels better, now. “We’ll get swarmed if all seven of us head back together.” 

“I think so too,” says Changkyun. He pulls out a paper napkin from his pocket and begins carefully wiping away the powdery sugar lingering on Hoseok’s lips. The action is gentle and caring, and devoid of any flirtatious undertones. Surprised, Hoseok holds his breath. 

“We should tell Hyunwoo-hyung, then,” Changkyun adds, dimpling at Hoseok.

Hyunwoo’s completely absorbed in his conversation with Kihyun, and he looks slightly regretful when he diverts his attention to Hoseok and Changkyun. 

“Um,” says Hoseok, darting his eyes between Hyunwoo and (a quietly smiling) Kihyun. “We’re going to head back first. If we all go back together, we’ll draw too much attention.”

“That’s smart,” says Hyunwoo, nodding and glancing at Kihyun as if seeking confirmation. “I guess we’ll see you tomorrow morning bright and early, then.”

“Bye, guys,” says Changkyun, waving the stub of his ice cream cone.

As they leave, the sound of the others’ laughter fades into the cooling night air. 

—

Back at the hotel, Changkyun lets Hoseok shower first, claiming to suddenly to want to buy a can of hot decaf from the vending machine downstairs. Hoseok knows it’s a fib, and he wishes Changkyun wouldn’t use white lies like that to make him feel better, but he accepts the sweet gesture all the same. Out of everyone, Changkyun is the best at reading his mood, and there’s no way he could’ve missed Hoseok’s contemplative silence as they rode the train back. 

When he exits the bathroom in his underwear, towel draped over his shoulders and skin still pink from the heat of his shower, Changkyun is sitting on the stuffed chair by the desk, sipping from a can of coffee and checking his SNS. He looks up and smiles at Hoseok. 

“Done?”

“Yeah,” replies Hoseok, raking his wet hair back. 

Changkyun tosses another can to him, which Hoseok catches with one hand. It’s decaf with milk, still cold, just how he likes it. 

“Thanks, Kyun.”

“No problem,” Changkyun replies with a small smile, then disappears into the washroom. 

Hoseok opens the can of coffee and sits down on top of the covers to check his SNS too. Changkyun’s already posted the photos Hoseok took of him at Hie Shrine. In his printed short-sleeve button-down and shorts, he looks relaxed and casual, but effortlessly cool. Hoseok chuckles at Changkyun’s cheeky caption.

**im.what.im** _ hot days, hot dates _

Changkyun always loves rubbing it in fans’ faces that he’s the adored maknae of the band, and Hoseok knows that’s what he’s very subtly doing.  

Remembering the picture Changkyun was proud to have taken of him —  _ “The only picture that matters in this world” _ — Hoseok opens his camera roll to examine it more carefully. 

Changkyun captured him really well. Framed by the red  _ torii, _ he’s caught ascending the concrete stairs mid-step, peeking over his shoulder as if beckoning a lover to come along. It’s a romantic image, completely at odds with the one he presents onstage. 

He uploads it to Instagram and tweaks the brightness and shadows a bit to bring out the details. His least favourite part about posting to Instagram is the caption, though. How Changkyun seems to be so casually cool with his own is beyond Hoseok. He’s still pondering the words when the younger comes out of the washroom. 

“Hey Kyun,” says Hoseok, glancing up. Changkyun’s just as undressed as he is. Hoseok can see the many blackline tattoos scattered across his torso and arms that are usually hidden by clothes. His hair is wet, still dripping water down his neck. Changkyun is entirely too attractive like this, and the Hoseok of several hours ago would probably have pounced on him in a heartbeat. But now, however, he’s too drained and off-centred by his mini crisis earlier to resume their flirting. 

Thankfully, Changkyun’s not of a mind to rile him up anymore either. He hums in greeting and slips under the covers beside Hoseok, sliding down halfway so he can pillow his cheek on Hoseok’s arm. It’s chaste and comforting, and Hoseok appreciates the gesture a lot.

“How long have you been trying to caption that?” Changkyun asks sleepily. His cheek moves against Hoseok’s arm as he speaks.

“A few minutes,” replies Hoseok. “A pic like this deserves a good caption.”

“We both know you’re hot, hyung, but damn. So self-centred,” Changkyun jokes. 

Hoseok huffs a quiet laugh. “I was praising your eye for composition, you brat.” 

Changkyun hums in amusement. “You don’t have to caption it, you know. No use wracking your brain for words that won’t come.”

“Ah, you’re right as always,” Hoseok sighs. He leaves the caption box blank and posts the photo as is. Changkyun’s cheek moves again in what Hoseok knows is a smug grin. “We should sleep.”

“Mmm,” replies Changkyun drowsily. “Can you turn off the light? I’m too comfy to move.”

The lightswitch is in reach without needing to get off the bed, so Hoseok crawls over to the foot of the bed, switches off the light, then crawls back to lie down beside Changkyun on top of the covers. He stares at the pitch-black ceiling, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark.

“I can’t move anymore,” he confesses. “Don’t make me sleep in the other bed.”

Changkyun chuckles quietly, a warm sound that fills him with comfort and lulls him closer to sleep. “Just sleep here again. It’s big enough for the both of us.”

“Thanks Kyun,” Hoseok replies. His eyelids droop heavily as he climbs under the covers. The sheets are soft and cool on his bare skin. 

The blankets rustle, and Changkyun turns to face Hoseok. “Hyung, you were upset earlier.” 

Changkyun’s voice is drowsy, but Hoseok cannot miss the way it tenses with worry and effort of staying awake. 

“I guess I kind of was,” Hoseok admits. He rolls over and faces Changkyun too.

“Will you tell me why?”

“Just the usual,” Hoseok replies, a touch self-deprecatingly. “Don’t wanna die alone, that sort of thing.”

A pause. “Because everyone else has each other?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok murmurs. It’s hard to maintain a lighthearted tone when Changkyun’s voice is so gentle and kind. “They’re all moving forward with their lives and relationships and I’m just… watching on the sidelines.”

There’s another silence. Hoseok wonders Changkyun has dropped off to sleep — his eyes still haven’t adjusted, so he can’t tell — or if he’s upset him somehow.

“Watching on the sidelines with you,” he amends. 

A tiny, huffed laugh. “It’s okay.”

Under the blankets, Changkyun’s fingers land on his forearm and trail down its length until they reach his hand. Softly, he takes Hoseok’s hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. 

“You won’t be left behind, hyung,” he says quietly. 

It’s a testament to their friendship and Changkyun’s own wisdom that he’s able to pinpoint exactly what’s weighing on Hoseok. It doesn’t do much to disperse his anxieties about the future, but it makes him feel so seen and cared for in the present moment.

“Thanks, Kyun. I’m okay, don’t worry,” says Hoseok, squeezing Changkyun’s hand back. His eyes are better adjusted to the light now, and he can see Changkyun’s lips curving into a half-smile, the one he wears when Hoseok’s blatantly lying to him and he’s pretending to believe it.

“Spoon me,” Changkyun says out of nowhere a beat later. Hoseok laughs quietly — a touch out of relief — at Changkyun’s sudden demand and lets go of his hand so he can turn. 

“Okay, you little brat,” he chuckles. He slots himself against Changkyun’s tattooed back and lays an arm over his waist. Changkyun unabashedly presses back against Hoseok’s bare chest and twines their legs together, letting out a little sigh when he finds a position he likes.

Despite their state of undress, the comfort and warmth of their embrace far outweighs any arousal Hoseok might feel in a position like this. He supposes that’s always been the foundation of his relationship with Changkyun. Maybe they’d always found each other physically attractive, but never saw it because comfort and fondness were always at the forefront. With this new revelation in mind, he wonders what the others think of their excessive skinship now. 

Remembering Minhyuk’s extreme reaction to finding them in bed together in the morning, he adds jokingly, “People might talk, though.”

But as soon as the words leave his mouth, a flood of memories rushes from the murky depths of his mind to the forefront in great clarity. 

Last night. The beer. The courtyard. The conversation. Changkyun in his lap. Changkyun’s lips, inches from his own. Changkyun’s words in response to his own words.

_ “People might see.” _

_ “There’s no one here to see.” _

_ “If people saw, they might talk.”  _

_ “What’s there to talk about?” _

_ “They might talk about two men, half-dressed, alone in a courtyard.” _

So that’s what was nudging at Hoseok’s mind all day. The conversation that felt so important to remember, but was lurking just out of reach. No wonder his growing awareness of his attraction to Changkyun felt so natural — the seeds were already planted the night before.  

“Let them talk, then.” Changkyun’s drowsy voice parts his thoughts like a hand moving through water. “We’re adults.”

“Mmm. We are,” Hoseok murmurs. It’s not that he’s having a crisis, really. The realization is a little surprising, that’s all. And Changkyun’s right, as always… 

That night, with Changkyun soft and warm in his arms, Hoseok dreams of two stars revolving around each other in a binary star system, inexorably bound in each other’s gravitational pull.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 2 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Are You Gonna Be My Girl_ by Jet  
> \- _XO_ by Beyoncé (don't judge me)  
> \- _Everything Will Be Alright_ by The Killers 
> 
> Thank you for the warm reception to Ch 1! Perhaps Ch 2 is a hot mess but hsjfglkdfghj;adghj here it is pls take it. Mbbs I'm ultra proud of you for making through this tough week. Cheers to the weekend!
> 
> ***
> 
> I'm bluem00nrabbit on [twt](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit)/[cc](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit). Come say hi!
> 
> What's a rock band AU without a playlist? Check it out [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)! I'll be updating it with each chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content.
> 
> Edit 19/06/25: If you read this chapter before Jun 25, it has since been edited to flesh out Hoseok's inner dialogue. The plot has not changed. [Here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/19keqUuATQlNZ_XDvlmj0W-EanJd8qVl1Se6oe-0y0gw/edit?usp=sharing) is a doc with the changes highlighted in grey if you want to skim the chapter again. Thanks folks!

“Mmm.”

A deep, chocolatey voice wraps around Hoseok’s mind, gently rousing him from his sleep. He doesn’t want to wake up, but even he can concede that only in consciousness can he appreciate how _good_ he feels. 

He opens his eyes just a crack, letting soft sunlight fill his vision through the gaps in his eyelashes. God, how he’d like to luxuriate in the moment forever. There’s a warm, near-nude body in his arms, all toned muscle and soft, smooth skin, and a shapely ass pressed deliciously against his crotch. The man in his arms leans his head back, teasing Hoseok’s nose with the soft, alluring scent of skin and soap. Hoseok sleepily runs his hands along the man’s abdomen, feeling each hard bump of muscle, and nuzzles his face into the crook of his neck, nosing along its smooth column to chase that addictive scent. 

 _“Hyung,”_ the man groans. 

Hoseok’s eyes spring open to meet Chankyun’s black hair and pretty neck, scattered with moles. Changkyun’s breaths heave deeply, sending blood rushing to Hoseok’s hardening cock. 

 _Shit._ Hoseok’s half-hard dick is nestled right between his favourite dongsaeng’s asscheeks. His favourite dongsaeng whom he flirted with (hard) all day yesterday and cuddled to sleep when he got the sads. _What if Changkyun was_ only _flirting?_

“You’re poking me,” Changkyun groans. His voice is thick with arousal. He grabs Hoseok’s wandering hands but doesn’t remove or halt them, but instead presses them harder against his body.

 _He wants this too,_ Hoseok realizes with a thrill. Months upon months of abstinence somehow led him to having an attractive and willing partner in his bed. He should be a bit more concerned that this partner is also his friend and colleague, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Lust unfurls slowly in his belly, replacing inhibition with boldness. 

“I’m not poking you,” Hoseok chuckles. He decides to test the waters by brushing his lips against Changkyun’s neck, planting feather-light kisses onto those pretty pretty moles. Who knew moles could be that kissable?

“Is this okay, Kyun?” he breathes, heart thrumming with anticipation.

 _“Yesss,”_ Changkyun hisses. 

Hoseok doesn’t hold back. There’s so much of Changkyun to explore. Changkyun’s body is toned — he’s seen the hours the maknae spends in the gym, so he knows — but there’s still softness to his hips that make them heavenly to grip. When he digs his fingers in, Changkyun melts against him with a satisfied exhale, making Hoseok curious to know what other pleasured sounds he can make with that sinfully deep voice. 

“You’re still poking me.”

“I’m touching you,” says Hoseok, laughing quietly, “not poking you.”

The urge to run his hand up that gorgeous chest and feel the younger’s nipples harden under his teasing fingertips strikes him, so he does exactly that. Changkyun gasps sharply and arches his back, pressing his ass harder against Hoseok’s erection. Hoseok groans lowly at the sparks of pleasure that dance down his spine. 

“Quit playing dumb, hyung,” Changkyun whines, tilting his head to the side. Hoseok takes it as permission to press bolder kisses along the column of his neck, drawing little intakes of breath from him. A particularly harsh suck on Changkyun’s jugular makes his body tense. _Interesting._ “You know exactly what you’re doing.” 

“What am I doing then?” Hoseok runs his hand back down Changkyun’s torso to rest on the dip of his waist. Kissing up to the hollow behind his ear, he sucks sharply on the sensitive skin there too. A reckless part of Hoseok hopes that it’ll leave a bruise _just_ small enough to be discreet, but scandalizing if spotted in such an intimate place. 

“You’re poking me with your massive dick and it’s driving me insane,” Changkyun all but moans. Hoseok’s blood sings at the sound. Changkyun’s hand grasps Hoseok’s and guides it to his hip, encouraging him to curl his fingers into a firm hold again.   

 _Oh God,_ thinks Hoseok. Never mind Changkyun, _he’s_ the one being driven insane. He’s not even pushing his hips forward the slightest bit — it’s Changkyun who’s doing all the work of pushing back. Hoseok wonders if Changkyun’s even conscious that he’s subtly gyrating his ass against his cock, building up the pressure in his body. 

He tightens his grip on Changkyun’s hips and sucks another spot under his jaw. Changkyun shudders against him. 

“If I were poking you,” Hoseok whispers into Changkyun’s ear, “it’d feel like this.”

Hoseok finally thrusts his hips forward, grinding his clothed dick against the cleft of Changkyun’s ass. Changkyun lets out the loudest moan yet and squeezes Hoseok’s hands in a deathgrip.

“What do you want, Kyun?” Hoseok murmurs. His skin is thrumming with arousal and his cock is aching with how hard it is, but he focuses on the man squirming in his arms. “Tell hyung what you want.”

Changkyun tightens his hold on Hoseok’s hand and drags it to the front of his boxers. Hoseok licks his lips in anticipation. Changkyun wants his cock touched. He cups his hand lightly over Changkyun’s bulge, delighting in the way the younger thrusts his hips forward to seek friction.

“Use your words,” he whispers. He knows he’s being mean, but _fuck,_ the maknae is so fun to tease.

“Touch me, you fucking sadist,” Changkyun bites out, impatiently shoving Hoseok’s hand into his boxers. It’s hardly a surprise that even in bed, Changkyun is foul-mouthed and demanding. Amused, he resists the pushing, preferring to go at his own pace.

“There you go,” Hoseok smirks. “Your wish is my command.”

He slowly dips his fingers under the waistband, past the soft skin of his pelvis, past the nest of coarse hair, closer, closer, closer, until they’re _just_ brushing the velvety skin of Changkyun’s— 

_Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz._

The vibration of a cellphone on the nightstand echoes through the silence of the room. 

 _“Argh,”_ Changkyun rages loudly. “Hyung, please, I need it. I’ll fucking cry if you don’t hit snooze and _touch me—”_

Changkyun’s hand tightens like a vice around Hoseok’s, urging it closer to his hard cock. His complaining is so endearing that Hoseok wants to keep teasing him until tears of frustration leak from his eyes, but his own aching erection is weeping in sympathy, so he presses the snooze button. Planting a trail of heavy kisses on Changkyun’s neck, he eases down Changkyun’s boxers to let his cock spring out. Changkyun — _that little demon_ — kicks his boxers all the way off and wastes no time pressing his bare ass against Hoseok’s clothed hips again, wiggling like he’s trying to find just the right angle to make him come in his pants like a teenager. 

“Behave,” he scolds. Changkyun stills, but continues to nuzzle back against Hoseok’s hips and drag his hand towards his cock. 

“You’re lucky I like spoiling you,” Hoseok whispers into Changkyun’s ear, drawing a shudder from the younger. He wraps his hand around Changkyun’s hot flesh and gives it a long, slow squeeze, relishing in the erotic moan that falls unchecked from Changkyun’s lips. Who knew the maknae — normally so calm and composed — was so responsive? The way the younger writhes against Hoseok is so intoxicating that he can barely even process how inappropriate the situation is. Maybe he should take a moment to think about the implications of having his naked dongsaeng’s hard, bare cock leaking in his hand, but instead, he finds himself rutting against Changkyun’s ass again, chasing that delicious pressure that might just turn his world white. 

“Hyung, I want more, harder, jerk me off harder,” Changkyun groans, reaching back to tangle his fingers in Hoseok’s hair. Words and moans of pleasure fall from Changkyun’s lips in a jumble, scrambling Hoseok’s thoughts until the only thing that matters is getting him to reach his peak.

Hoseok hungrily presses open-mouthed kisses all over that beautiful neck, slicks up Changkyun’s cock with precum, and sets a steady pace. Changkyun responds so beautifully, moaning scrambled obscenities with that seductively low voice, reaching his hands back to blindly grasp at Hoseok’s shoulders, arms, hair, whatever he can touch, tangling his legs with Hoseok’s. The belated realization that Changkyun’s so damn _fuckable_ drives Hoseok wild. What took him so long to see that he’d always been attracted to him?

Suddenly, Changkyun pushes Hoseok’s hand away and twists around in his arms, bringing them face to face and knocking the very breath out of Hoseok’s chest. He licks his lips as he drinks in the sight before him. Everything about Changkyun looks like sex incarnate — the mussed-up hair; the glassy, lidded eyes; the parted lips, panting with arousal. It makes Hoseok’s heart race. 

Under the covers, Changkyun’s hands slide towards his hips. Thumbs hook under the elastic waistband of his boxers and ease them down and off, freeing his aching cock from its confines. Just like Changkyun had done, Hoseok kicks his underwear off. Tentatively, Changkyun inches closer, eyes never leaving Hoseok’s for a second. 

“God, Kyun, you’re killing me,” Hoseok breathes, snaking his arms around Changkyun’s waist. Changkyun responds in kind, then slips a knee between his thighs, bringing their arousals—    

_Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz._

_“Fuck,”_ Hoseok hisses, sitting up. _So fucking close._ He grabs his phone, turns off the alarm, and throws it hard across the room where it thuds dully several times before coming to a stop. His erection, still barely attended, throbs painfully between his thighs.

“Mmm, that’s the idea,” Changkyun rumbles, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Hoseok from behind. Pressing filthy kisses onto Hoseok’s neck, he continues sultrily, “Come back. Let’s fuck.”

Hoseok groans. He wants _so much_ to slide back under the covers with Changkyun and have his wicked way with him — or let Changkyun take the lead; he’s not partial — but last night he set his alarm with the intention of maximizing their sleep. They now have less than ten minutes before they need to be out of the room and on their way to breakfast. 

The calloused fingertips brushing against his nipples and abdomen sneakily make their way down to his crotch, but Hoseok grabs Changkyun’s wrist before more damage can be done. 

“Let me touch you too, hyung,” Changkyun murmurs. To make matters worse, he trails his tongue along the sensitive shell of Hoseok’s ear, sending shivers coursing along his skin.

He gently nudges Changkyun’s hand away, eliciting a petulant whine from the younger. 

“It’s way past seven-thirty,” Hoseok replies, turning to face Changkyun. “We’ll never get out of bed at this rate.”

“Then let’s not,” Changkyun whispers back, mouthing the words under Hoseok’s jaw. “You want to come, don’t you?”

 _Yes!_ screams Hoseok’s mind. He wants to take both their dicks in his hand and jerk them off until they’re spilling all over each other and collapsing against each other from the intensity. But that would take time if he wants to do a nice job of it, and by his estimate they only have about eight minutes left to wash up, get dressed, and pack what they need for the day before meeting the others in the corridor. 

A sharp bite on the juncture of his neck takes him by surprise, the pain making his cock throb with interest but also breaking him out of his lust-muddled reverie. With a regretful sigh, he gently pushes Changkyun down and pins his misbehaving hands above his head. Changkyun’s breath quickens and arousal flushes his skin pink.

 _“Hyung,”_ he moans erotically. The sound goes straight to Hoseok’s erection. Under the covers, he can feel Changkyun trying to wrap his legs around his waist. It damn near breaks his resolve. 

But responsibilities are responsibilities, and as the band’s leader he can’t afford to neglect them. Not being able to pass up his last chance for some teasing fun at Changkyun’s expense, he leans in close to the younger’s face, nearly touching his lips with his own. Changkyun arches his back in response, eyes lidded, breaths quick and shallow. 

“We have eight minutes to get ready,” Hoseok whispers, just _barely_ brushing Changkyun’s lips with his own. Changkyun cranes his head up, but Hoseok pulls back and lets go before Changkyun can press their lips firmly together.

Changkyun dejectedly slumps back on the bed with a groan of frustration. 

“You’re so fucking responsible,” he grumbles.

Hoseok quirks an amused smile. “I’m the leader. I have to be.”

Changkyun eyes Hoseok shrewdly for a moment, then sits up. Grasping Hoseok’s jaw, he captures Hoseok’s lips in a searing, open-mouthed kiss, moving in such a way that lights his senses on fire and knocks him off-centre. But before he can fully reciprocate, Changkyun pulls away and slips out of bed.

“I’m using the washroom first, then,” he announces with a smirk, then crosses the room to gather his clothes for the day. Hoseok watches his ass jiggle as he quickly pads to the washroom.

When the door closes, he looks down at his own erection, red and angry, but starting to subside. 

 _What a way to start your morning, Hoseok,_ he thinks to himself. He feels slightly stunned by the turn of events. It’s not every day that one engages in hot morning handjobs with one’s friend and bandmate. They’ll probably have to address what just happened eventually. Is it a one-off thing? Will there be a repeat? That discussion will have to wait till after the concert at least.

With a short, resigned laugh, he gets up and waddles over to where his phone lies. Luckily it only bounced off the stuffed armchair before landing safely and damage-free on the carpeted floor. 

Hoseok’s not a religious person, but there are times in life one must thank the powers that be for material things that make life easier. While Changkyun’s still in the washroom, he gets dressed, and somehow manages to make himself look fit for public presentation by liberally colour-correcting and concealing the suspicious crescents of teeth marks on his neck. As he examines his reflection in floor-length mirror, he realizes it’s nowhere near as good a job as the coordi-noonas can do, but will have to suffice for now. He should be able to escape the jibes of his bandmates if they don’t look too closely.

Changkyun emerges from the washroom looking like the cat that got the cream, and it only takes Hoseok one glance to figure out why. Just like Hoseok himself, Changkyun’s dressed none too modestly, in shorts and a loose tank top with armholes that drop low to his ribcage. Hoseok just about dies when he recognizes the shirt — because it’s his own. 

In a house of seven men, clothes-sharing is about as inevitable as death and taxes. Changkyun wearing his clothes is nothing new, but Changkyun wearing his clothes right after he’s been naked, aroused, and pliant in his arms _is._ There’s something about knowing that’s _his_ shirt barely covering the body he just had his hands all over that just gets him going. Hoseok wonders if the maknae knows — _really_ knows — what he’s doing, if he “borrowed” it to torment him. 

He rolls his eyes at Changkyun’s antics again before he notices a strange smudge on the younger’s neck. His face flushes when he realizes what it is.

“You didn’t blend your concealer properly,” he says. Changkyun’s eyes widen with surprise, and he touches his throat self-consciously. He meekly draws near when Hoseok beckons him over. 

Hoseok takes Changkyun gently by the neck and thumbs at the patch of concealer covering the red mark he left earlier, diffusing the edges so that it melts seamlessly against the pale skin of Changkyun’s throat. Changkyun’s eyes are fixed on him the entire time.

“There, I think it’s done,” Hoseok murmurs. He places a hand on Changkyun’s jaw, turning his head so he can peer at the spot behind his ear where he kissed earlier. Surely enough, there’s a small, red lovebite there, nestled in the hollow behind Changkyun’s earlobe like secret, filthy words whispered into a lover’s ear.  

“There’s one more here,” says Hoseok, thumbing delicately at the mark with his palm on Changkyun’s neck. Changkyun leans a fraction heavier into his touch, his pulse thrumming under his hand. They stare at each other for an electrifying moment.

“Leave it. We have no time anyways,” Changkyun says. Suddenly smiling flirtatiously, he adds, “Go fix your morning breath.”

“You didn’t have a problem with it earlier,” says Hoseok, dropping his hand down to squeeze Changkyun’s butt. Changkyun smirks saucily at him before pushing him into the washroom. 

—

Surprisingly, they’re not even the last ones to emerge from their room. Hyunwoo and Jooheon greet them in the corridor, awake and alert for the day ahead. Hoseok feels uncharacteristically awake too, despite the lack of caffeine. The reason for that follows him out of the hotel room, carefully rests his guitar case and backpack against the wall, and saunters up to Jooheon for a morning hug. 

“Morning, Changkyunnie,” says Jooheon, softly wrapping Changkyun in his arms. “Morning, hyung.”

“Hey guys,” Hoseok replies, placing his bag and guitar case beside Changkyun’s. Changkyun meanders back to behind him and drops his chin over his shoulder. 

“Morning. Hope you two — uh — slept well,” says Hyunwoo, eyeing Hoseok. Hoseok’s pulse quickens — has Hyunwoo seen through him? But then again, as Changkyun said last night: they’re both adults. He has nothing to feel guilty for. Hoseok rolls his eyes to cover his momentary panic.

“I did, thanks,” he replies drily. “How about you, Kyun, did you sleep well?”

“Yup,” Changkyun replies. He wraps his arms around Hoseok in a back hug. “So well I had a hard time getting out of bed.”

Hoseok’s lips twitch at the subtle innuendo, but luckily Hyunwoo and Jooheon are distracted by the opening door of Kihyun, Minhyuk, and Hyungwon’s room. Kihyun emerges, purple hair in disarray. He slumps against the wall and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“I tried,” he says hollowly. “I got up. Got ready. Tried to get them to get ready, but they just—”

He stops and massages his temples. 

“It’s okay, Kihyun-ah,” says Hyunwoo, rubbing Kihyun’s shoulder. “You tried your best and we have a couple of minutes.”

“You need to be gentle with them,” says Jooheon, shaking his head. “Here, give me your keycard. I’ll handle it.”

Kihyun wordlessly hands Jooheon the card. Jooheon’s voice rings out fondly as he enters the room. 

“What the _hell_ was with that yelling earlier?” asks Kihyun, turning his bloodshot eyes to Hoseok and Changkyun. 

“Oh,” blurts Hoseok. If Kihyun heard the yelling through the wall, what more did he hear? In the heat of the moment, he was too caught up to notice how loud they were. He can feel his cheeks warming, and he fervently hopes that Kihyun’s still too sleep-deprived to notice. “You heard that?”

“I didn’t just _hear_ it,” Kihyun seethes, narrowing his eyes. “It tore me from my sleep. It assaulted my ears. It—”

Mild dread mounts in Hoseok as Kihyun continues his verbal attack, but Changkyun cuts him off.

“I was yelling because I was having a really nice dream when the alarm rang, okay?” whines the maknae. “A _really_ nice dream, so nice that even you’d shout if—”

Ears burning, Hoseok subtly aims a warning kick at Changkyun’s shin, effectively stopping him before he says anything suspicious or incriminating. Kihyun merely sighs and says, “You’d think they’d have better soundproofing at a place like this.”

 _Duly noted,_ thinks Hoseok. Changkyun must be thinking the same too, for he huffs an amused breath and squeezes his arms lightly around Hoseok’s waist. In response, Hoseok reaches a hand back to ruffle Changkyun’s hair, giving him the attention he’s clearly seeking. Meanwhile, Kihyun rests his brow against Hyunwoo’s sturdy shoulder and continues to grumble quietly, prompting Hyunwoo to wrap a sympathetic arm around him and murmur something back. 

The door opens again and the others spill out, laden with their instrument cases.  

“Can we get breakfast now?” Minhyuk grumbles while rubbing his eyes, oblivious to Kihyun’s glare. “I’m starving.”

The elevator is a tight fit with all seven of them, three guitar cases, and a keyboard piano. Luckily, their amps, Jooheon’s drum set, and other bulky equipment have already been delivered to the venue, a feat that wouldn’t be possible without the help of their agency. They could opt to have all of their instruments delivered ahead of them, but out of habit, they still keep their smaller, more sentimental instruments on their person to ensure their safety. 

Oh, what a long way they’ve come, thinks Hoseok. He reminisces back to the days when it was just them and a beat-up old van. Those were the days of sneaking too many people into motel rooms just to save some money so they could bribe Hyunwoo with meals in exchange for helping out — that stubborn man always refused their money. Back then they truly had to live in each others’ pockets as a band, and it gave Hoseok a lot of practice in reading the atmosphere. 

In the small, confined space of the elevator, Hoseok can now easily gauge everyone’s mood from their posture and expression. He can tell that they’re all a little worse for wear. Kihyun’s being slowly coaxed out of his grumpy mood by their manager, and Hyungwon’s just plain slumped on Jooheon, looking for all the world like he’s asleep again. Even Minhyuk, their energizer, is still emitting occasional yawns behind his large hand. Changkyun is leaning against the wall with his eyes closed in meditation, so Hoseok turns his thoughts inward, closing his eyes as the elevator continues its descent to the lobby.

Today’s concert will be in a venue they’ve never performed in before — bigger, grander, with a larger audience capacity proportionate to their increasing popularity. They might have to be extra attentive during their soundcheck and rehearsals to adjust for the new acoustic environment. Because it’s also the last stop in their Japan tour, there’s the added pressure of making it perfect, because that’s how they’ll be remembered for the rest of the year. After the many many days of touring across the country, he hopes that he’ll have enough steam to live up to the expectations. He can already tell he’ll be restless and on edge today from The Aborted Morning Incident with Changkyun.

A warm body presses up against him, pulling his attention from his inner thoughts. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know it’s Changkyun, but when he does, he sees that the younger is staring at the bite mark on his neck with a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.  

 _Cute._ For the sake of discretion, Hoseok knows he should pretend like the incident never happened at all, but he can’t pass up the opportunity to tease Changkyun, just a little bit. Hoseok tilts his head to the side, giving Changkyun a better view of mess he left that Hoseok had to conceal. Changkyun flushes harder and looks up at him, eyes wide and bashful. Hoseok can’t help but smirk. _Heh. Not so bold now, are you?_

Changkyun blinks a couple times, then hides his pink face in Hoseok’s neck again. Tiny huffs of breath brush against Hoseok’s skin, causing him to shake with silent chuckles. It’s funny how Changkyun had no reservations about leaving that bite mark, but is too shy to look at it. _So fucking cute._

The elevator finally _dings,_ notifying them that they’ve reached the lobby. They file out of the elevator and make their way to the underground parking lot where they load their instruments into their rented van, then head back to the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. Several of their support staff are breaking their fast there too, and they all wave cheerfully at each other. The restaurant’s not too full, and the other patrons that are there don’t seem to recognize them. By the time they’re all seated, the band looks a little more alive again. 

“I feel really bad saying this,” Kihyun begins, sighing at the menu, “but I really can’t wait for the tour to finish.” 

“Whaaat?” Minhyuk gasps melodramatically. Hoseok can see by the teasing light in his eyes that he’s only joking. “You mean you _don’t_ want to be on the road every day of your life?”

Beside him, Hyungwon smiles wryly and nods in understanding. “I get what you mean. We’ve been away from home for a long time.”

“It doesn’t mean we’ll give any less than our all for the last concert,” Changkyun supplies from across from Hoseok. 

“Exactly.” Jooheon nods kindly. “Don’t feel bad, hyung.”

Kihyun looks up and smiles tiredly at everyone. “Thanks guys.”

The waiter arrives with a tray of waters and a notepad in hand and quietly takes their order. When she leaves, Hyunwoo pulls out a folder from his backpack and peruses its contents. 

“You guys have a magazine interview this morning—”

Hoseok pauses mid-sip. “We have a what?”

Hyunwoo looks at Hoseok strangely. “An interview with Haru*Hana. Just a photoshoot and that thing where you each answer the same preset questions.”

“Ahh.” A photoshoot. He’d completely forgotten about that. Hoseok nods and turns his eyes to the patch of concealer on Changkyun’s neck. Changkyun responds with a miniscule shrug  that somehow manages to be both sheepish and unapologetic. 

“Anyway, hair and makeup for the shoot will be done at Haru*Hana’s office,” Hyunwoo continues, scanning his eyes down the page. “Soundcheck and rehearsal at two. Hair and makeup again at five, then dinner; and lastly hi-touch at seven-thirty, just before the concert. 

Hyungwon props up his face on the heels of his hands, cheeks squishing between his palms. 

“I really respect groups that have their hi-touches _after_ their concerts,” he mutters. “I’m always drained after.”

Everyone nods in agreement.

The waiter returns, and they all perk up at the sight of their breakfasts stacked on the cart she pushes. One by one, she sets down their plates in front of them, assaulting their senses with the rich, enticing aroma of eggs and meat. After placing several pots of coffee and tea in the centre of the table, she leaves them to their meal. 

“Wow,” Jooheon chimes happily. “That was so fast.”

“It’s just eggs and stuff,” Minhyuk says flippantly, dousing his pancakes in syrup. “Even Kihyun can get it done quick.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Kihyun retorts humorously just as Hyunwoo says, “Now now, be nice.”

Hoseok watches in amusement as Kihyun casts grateful eyes at Hyunwoo, to which Hyunwoo responds with his signature eye smile. Changkyun follows Hoseok’s gaze and rolls his eyes, at which Hoseok shakes his head with a fond grin.

All conversation is abandoned in favour of consuming the food while it’s hot. Hoseok sighs in relief at the sight of the coffee pot, drawing Changkyun’s attention. Without being prompted, Changkyun hands the pot to him and resumes eating.

The first sip of hot black coffee does wonders for jolting Hoseok fully awake with its bitter taste. How that he’s got a bit of caffeine in his system and more energy to compartmentalize his thoughts, he thinks that maybe The Morning Incident won’t be too much of a distraction. With a satisfied huff, he digs into his breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

Barely ten seconds later, he’s forced to reevaluate himself when a bare ankle begins brushing up the length of his calf. He stiffens at the contact and looks up. Across the table, Changkyun is demurely nibbling at a length of sausage on his fork. The maknae meets his eyes and pauses, then slowly darts his tongue out to lick at the piece of meat before sensuously wrapping his lips around it. He peeks at Hoseok through his lashes to gauge his reaction.  

Hoseok suppresses a groan. Changkyun delicately eases the sausage off the fork and smirks at Hoseok as he chews. The ankle under the table continues teasing up and down his calf, a sinuous reminder that The Morning Incident is determined to stay fresh at the forefront of both their minds.

It’s fine. Totally fine! Hoseok can deal with Changkyun having a little not-so-innocent fun at the breakfast table. He can deal with being constantly reminded that he almost got to have a hand on his cock that’s not his own, too. As long as he gets his fill of food and coffee in relative peace. 

The last straw comes when a socked foot comes inching up the sensitive, bare skin of Hoseok’s inner thighs, too close to his crotch, making him choke a bit on his bacon. 

 _This kid will be the death of me_. Hoseok breathes deeply and again thanks the powers that be, this time for the tablecloth hiding their legs from view. Time to give as good as he got. 

Hoseok peeks at the other members, glad to see they’re all preoccupied with their food, then lays down his knife and reaches under the table to grab Changkyun’s ankle and pull it onto his lap. Changkyun freezes, fork and knife still in hand. As Hoseok massages his ankle with his thumb, Changkyun stares back, wide-eyed in surprise. Hoseok holds down his stare with a lazy smirk of his own, satisfied with Changkyun’s reaction, before giving his ankle a gentle pat and setting his foot back on the floor. Dumbfounded, Changkyun lets his foot fall away from Hoseok’s lap.

‘Good boy,’ Hoseok mouths, smiling in amusement. Changkyun’s eyelids flutter in response. _Interesting._

— 

Haru*Hana’s staff warmly welcome them and show them to their dressing room, where their stylists — a formidable pair of twin sisters in their late 20’s — and their assistants are already waiting. 

Bomi takes one alarmed look at Hoseok and Changkyun before dragging them to a side room. 

“What the fuck!” she whisper-screams, gesturing at their necks. 

“Ah… Good morning, noona,” says Hoseok sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck. 

Beside him, Changkyun looks down at his toes and mutters, “Morning, Bomi-noona.”

Bomi softens at Changkyun’s bashfulness. “Good morning. I’m not mad, Changkyunnie, I can’t blame you for wanting to have a bit of fun. Hoseok, on the other hand…”

Hoseok flinches as she turns her murderous eyes to him. 

“How dare you defile Changkyunnie like this!” she quietly rages, pointing a manicured finger at him. “Don’t move.”

They stand frozen as Bomi stomps out of the room, calling for her sister. “Yeoreum-ah!”

“Defile…” Hoseok whispers in shock. “She said _I_ defiled you even though it could’ve been anyone! And you…”

He trails off and eyes the shirt — his shirt! — on Changkyun’s torso. 

“Pfft. Hahahahah!” Changkyun’s laugh rings out in the small room. 

“Favouritism,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “Blatant favouritism.”

“As if you don’t pick favourites,” Changkyun points out, placing his chin on Hoseok’s shoulder to gaze up at him. 

 _Fuck discretion._ Hoseok chuckles and wraps his arms loosely around Changkyun’s waist. Leaning his face close to the maknae’s, he noses along the line of his jaw until his lips are by his ear. “I never claimed to be a saint.” 

“Hyung,” Changkyun whispers, snaking his arms around Hoseok’s neck. His eyes are lidded as he gazes at Hoseok.

 _Yup. Definitely no saint._ It would be so easy to lean closer and breathe in Changkyun’s scent, just like he had yesterday. Or he could lay more kisses along Changkyun’s beautiful throat, skimming over the poorly concealed bruise he left. Or even pay Changkyun back for leaving Hoseok hard and aching in bed after that fiery kiss in the morning. As Changkyun’s tongue darts out of his mouth, wetting his lips, Hoseok wonders how it would feel to have Changkyun’s lips against his again, how it would feel to part the younger’s lips with his tongue and feel him melt under him. 

At the sound of heeled shoes approaching the room, he drops his hand from Changkyun’s face. As pulls away from Changkyun, leaving a couple feet of space between them, Changkyun whines quietly in frustration. Bomi returns with makeup wipes, a fistful of brushes, and a concealer palette.

“Hoseok-ah, go find Yeoreumie for your outfit first,” she says, already getting to work on Changkyun’s neck. 

“Okay,” Hoseok replies cheerfully. He winks goodbye to a silently fuming Changkyun.

As he leaves, Bomi adds in a low grumble, “Better not have left any more bruises on my sweet boy while I was gone.”

It’s eerie that Bomi was so quick to assume that they were the ones who marked up each other’s necks, especially when their interactions in front of her had always been platonic. Hoseok supposes it’s just her uncanny intuition at play again. Despite her stern words of reprimand, he knows it’s all out of fondness and concern for them. He wonders how Yeoreum, her much more relaxed twin, will react.   

The main dressing room is already a cacophony of noise, with hair dryers whirring and the other members joking and chatting with the stylists’ assistants. Hoseok finds Yeoreum-noona standing by the assistant styling Jooheon’s hair. Her face lights up with a shit-eating grin and she pulls him over to the garment rack. Hoseok’s stomach drops as he fears the worst.

“So I heard Changkyunnie took a huge chunk out of you,” she mutters as she starts handing him his outfit — a crisp white Marc Jacobs button-down and black slacks. 

“How do you know it was him though?” Hoseok protests. “It could’ve been anyone!”

Yeoreum eyes the concealer on his neck in amusement. “Yup. And I could’ve been the tenth member of SNSD if I didn’t find my calling in concealing hickeys on horny rockstars.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the hero we need but don’t deserve.” Hoseok rolls his eyes and pouts. “Nobody wants to side with me in this damn place.”

“We’re all on your side, dumbass,” Yeoreum retorts. “We’re not Starship family for nothing.”

A small part of Hoseok feels compelled to tell her that The Morning Incident wasn’t that deep, that they were just super horny and pent up when they woke up that morning, but it’s overshadowed by the affection, appreciation, and gratitude he suddenly feels for her. 

Yeoreum leans close again and fixes him with a serious gaze. “Now, Hoseok-ah. Safe sex is important. Do you and Changkyunnie need condoms and lube?”

Hoseok stares back in disbelief. “Noona, I’m twenty-six.”

She shrugs. He’s not sure whether he should laugh or cry.

Luckily for Hoseok and Changkyun, the photoshoot and interview pass without any hiccups — or need for embarrassing touch-ups, thanks to Bomi’s deft hand and just enough loose setting powder, so The Morning Incident continues to be a secret from the rest of the band. 

After they bow their thanks to the Haru*Hana staff, Bomi, Yeoreum, and Hyunwoo herd them back into the dressing room to return their expensive outfits and accessories to the stylist team. The six band members are given the dressing room to change, but that doesn’t stop Changkyun from licking his lips at Hoseok as he unbuttons his own shirt, nor does it stop Hoseok from pinning Changkyun with his gaze as he runs his hand invitingly down his abdomen. He counts it as a win when Changkyun bites his bottom lip and turns away abruptly. 

And he definitely doesn’t miss the way Changkyun trails his fingers absentmindedly on the concealed bruise behind his ear. 

— 

A chorus of exclamations and appreciative whistles echoes through the concert hall as they step onto the empty stage for soundcheck after lunch. 

“Whaaa!” Changkyun shouts, immediately grabbing Jooheon by both hands to spin them around the stage. Minhyuk laughs joyously and slips his hands into the maknaes’, and together the three of them jump around in a noisy circle like children. 

“Quit fooling around, kids,” Hoseok calls, but of course they continue their horseplay as the other members and the staff begin assembling their equipment. It’s only after Hoseok’s got his guitar plugged into his amp and Changkyun stumbles on an untied shoelace that they break up their game and start their own setup. 

“Time to tune,” Hyungwon calls lazily, obnoxiously jamming the E4 key over and over. “Hoseok, Minhyuk, time to tune.”

“Quit that, we’ve got clip-on tuners now,” Minhyuk sasses.

“Just admit you like it,” Hyungwon smiles in response.

Minhyuk softens. “You’re right, I do,” he says, and with his aqua blue Les Paul traverses the stage over to Hyungwon’s keyboard, clip-on tuner be damned. Hyungwon begins playing the right series of notes for Minhyuk and smiles proudly as he watches him tune his guitar by ear.  

Hoseok sits cross-legged on the stage floor and clips his tuner to the headstock of his own guitar. He begins plucking the strings and turning the pegs until the hears the tuner’s electric _beep!_ that tells him he’s in tune. It’s an easy enough task, so he doesn’t bother filtering out the others’ voices and sounds. By the drumset, Jooheon, Hyunwoo, and Kihyun are chatting about dinner options. Closer to Hoseok, Changkyun’s also in the process of tuning. It takes him way less time, owing to the four strings on his instrument to the six on Hoseok’s. Soon, the deep notes of Changkyun’s Fender Starcaster stop reverberating around the auditorium, and the sound is replaced by soft footsteps approaching Hoseok from behind. A soft thump and a warm body pressed against his back tells him Changkyun has sat down behind him.

“Hyungie.”

“Hey Kyun.” Hoseok smiles at Changkyun’s unsubtle request for attention. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” Changkyun rests his head against the back of Hoseok’s neck and nuzzles for a moment before hooking his chin over Hoseok’s shoulder to watch what he’s doing.

Hoseok chuckles and continues tuning. The A note falls flat, so he focuses on tightening the string around its peg until it sounds right. A hand snakes its way around his side and rests on his knee, but Hoseok ignores it and keeps testing the strings. Changkyun slowly inches his hand up Hoseok’s bare thigh, making him inhale sharply in surprise. 

“Kyun,” he mutters.

“Hmm?” Changkyun inquires innocently. 

“You’re not going to keep your hands to yourself, are you?”

“Probably not.” Changkyun hitches up the hem of his (admittedly very short) shorts, exposing his tattoo, and starts gently stroking the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Hoseok’s cock twitches in interest, and he can feel his self-control fracturing. _In for a penny, in for a pound…_  

“Kyun,” Hoseok says again, this time twisting around to meet Changkyun’s gaze. Mischief, lust, and satisfaction swirl in his eyes. “Don’t expect hyung to play nice.”

“Mmm.” Changkyun’s lips curl into a smile as he replies. “Just how I like it.”

They stare at each other for another heated moment before Hyungwon’s soft voice cuts through the tension.

“We’re ready for soundcheck!” 

Changkyun winks before he pulls away, sauntering back to where his bass is propped up on its stand. 

Hoseok shakes his head and stands up. “‘Kay guys, let’s start with _Destroyer.”_

Soundchecks with Monsta X are always a lax affair. They run through a few of their songs without being too performative about it, just to make sure they’ll sound right in the concert hall. They’re mostly sitting around the stage, only paying attention to what adjustments need to be made to the sound — as such, Hoseok’s the only one who notices the signals Changkyun sends to get his attention.

They’re only little things, like catching Hoseok’s eye during suggestive lyrics, or licking his lips while Hoseok runs through complex riffs. They’re such small, tiny gestures that they could easily be interpreted as innocent, but they both know better. Hoseok finds it so cute that Changkyun is at times shy and at times bold, so he splits his attention between playing and holding Changkyun’s gaze until the maknae’s lips part slightly with want.

When the song ends, Hoseok tears his attention from Changkyun and turns to Hyunwoo, who’s sitting in the audience perusing his phone. 

“Hyunwoo-yah,” he says into his microphone. “Is Jooheon’s drums mic loud enough?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head and makes an X with his arms. Hoseok nods in understanding. 

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s adjust the mic volume, and then we’ll do a run-through of _Dramarama._ We can save the Queen medley for last.”  

Rehearsals aren’t so much tiring as time-consuming, especially due to their perfectionist nature. For the next couple of hours, they’re so focused on getting a feel for the stage and where the audience will be that even Changkyun forgets his little shenanigans designed to rile Hoseok up. 

 _Not like he even needs them,_ thinks Hoseok, watching the maknae drink deeply from a bottle of water as Minhyuk practices a chord change that he always gets wrong. Changkyun’s fingers wander behind his ear again, pressing gently on the bruise there, then trail down his throat where the other bruise is concealed. Hoseok wonders if Changkyun realizes he’s constantly touching the marks he left or if he’s doing it unconsciously. 

“Okay!” Minhyuk calls. “Okay, I’ve got it. Let’s start from the top of _We Are The Champions.”_  

Jooheon counts them in, and Kihyun resumes singing. Hoseok can tell he’s starting to lose steam. Nevertheless, Minhyuk gets his chords right, and everything sounds perfect until—  

“Fuck! Cut! Cut!”

Hoseok whips his head around as the sound abruptly dies. Behind the drums, Jooheon is clutching at his cheek and hissing in pain. 

“Jagi!” 

“Heonnie!” 

Minhyuk all but throws his precious Les Paul onto his guitar stand as he joins Hyungwon in rushing towards Jooheon. 

“I broke a drumstick and it hit my face,” says Jooheon weakly.

“Did you cut yourself? Did it hit your eye?” Minhyuk asks. His voice sounds tense with worry as he nervously eases Jooheon’s hand away from his cheek. “Oh. Oh gosh.”

“Is there blood?” asks Hyungwon, swaying on the spot. He looks like he’s trying his best to stay present despite his phobia. “Jagi, do you need — a bandaid? Or something?”

“You guys are fucking useless. Move.” Followed by a first aid kit-toting Hyunwoo, Kihyun brushes past Hoseok and shifts both Minhyuk and Hyungwon aside. Changkyun silently pads over and holds Jooheon’s hand as Kihyun applies hydrogen peroxide to the wound. Hyungwon and Minhyuk hover nearby, unsure of what to do. 

They won’t be able to focus on rehearsals, Hoseok realizes as he draws closer. Luckily, Jooheon’s cut isn’t deep; it looks like the broken end of his drumstick barely grazed the surface of his skin. However, judging by the lines etching Hyungwon and Minhyuk’s faces, it’s enough to worry his former lovers. 

“Why don’t we move this to the dressing room?” Hoseok suggests, running a hand through his hair. “We should break for dinner while we’re at it. I think we’re about as prepared as we can be.” 

Kihyun nods in agreement as he carefully bandages Jooheon’s cheek. The moment he moves away, Minhyuk and Hyungwon flock to the drummer, anxiously peering at his face. Hoseok watches in amusement as they eye each other like they’re unsure if they’re third-wheeling.   

“They’re so fuckin’ awkward with each other,” Changkyun mutters beside Hoseok. “I can’t bear to watch it.”

“They’ll figure it out in time,” says Hoseok, watching them sag in relief as Jooheon jokes reassuringly with them while pushing them backstage. “Hungry? What do you want to eat?”

Changkyun turns to him, lips curving in a sly smile. “What happened to ‘don’t expect hyung to play nice’?”

Hoseok darts his eyes around the empty stage and auditorium before turning back to Changkyun. He can’t help but raise his hand up to Changkyun’s jaw, pressing the pad of his thumb on Changkyun’s smirking lips. To his utter surprise, Changkyun closes his eyes and takes his thumb into his mouth, sucking lightly on it. Arousal seeps through him as Changkyun’s tongue presses against it.

“You’re on,” Hoseok murmurs.

Dinner turns out to be food catered to the venue courtesy of Tokyo Monbebes, so they scatter themselves throughout the dressing room and help themselves to the food. Hoseok has just sat down with a takeout bento box of beef teriyaki when Changkyun unceremoniously drops himself onto his lap with a filthy wiggle. 

“Changkyun-ah, let Hoseok-hyung eat,” Kihyun chides from down the table. Across the room, Minhyuk narrows his eyes suspiciously at them but doesn’t say anything. 

“It’s okay,” Hoseok replies around a mouthful of rice. He swallows, then adds, “You just want the gyoza from my box, don’t you?”

Under the table, Hoseok reaches his free hand down to Changkyun’s ass and gives it a firm squeeze. Changkyun blinks in surprise before nodding. 

Hoseok picks up the pan-fried gyoza with his chopsticks and holds it out for the maknae. “Ahh.”

Until the hi-touch before the concert, there’s nothing aside from eating, hair, and makeup for them to do, so Hoseok knows beyond a shade of doubt that Changkyun’s attention is solely on him. And damn if he doesn’t capitalize on it while he still can, before they have to put their professionalism on for the stage.   

Coupled with the simmering tension between them, the adrenaline that mounts before the show emboldens them, makes them brash. It’s the little things like this that add to the heat. Fingers dipping under shirt hems to press on the bare skin of a waist. A slap on the ass while passing by. Clinging close to each other, breathing in each other’s scent. Sitting with a hand resting enticingly on a bare thigh. Lips that brush too sensuously against sensitive skin as they murmur innocent things to each other.

Bare minutes before they’re due on stage, Hoseok throws caution to the wind and pulls Changkyun aside in the absolute darkness backstage.

“What—”

Hoseok silences the question on Changkyun’s lips with a kiss. Changkyun responds immediately, grasping at Hoseok with eager hands, and opens his mouth for Hoseok to slip his tongue in. Changkyun’s mouth is hot and so is his skin, and for the scant few seconds they have to themselves before someone might come too close, Hoseok runs his hands along his body, his ass, until he’s pliant and swallows the tiny moans he emits. Finally, at Hyunwoo’s call, he pulls away with a squeeze on Changkyun’s bottom, a silent promise of more to come.  

Under the scalding spotlights, they soak up the energy of the crowd, feeling invincible as they absorb the audience’s adoration. During his guitar solos, Hoseok leans his back against Changkyun’s, drawing loud screams from the crowd. Between songs, Changkyun dabs away the sweat on Hoseok’s neck, subtly pressing his fingers on the bite mark he left in the morning. 

During the encore, just as he’s about to take his shirt off, Hoseok catches Changkyun’s appreciative gaze and raises an eyebrow invitingly. Changkyun smirks and saunters over.

“Well?” he asks, trailing his fingers on the hem of Hoseok’s shirt. The wolf-whistles of their bandmates fall to the background. The roar of the crowd is a deafening crescendo.

“It’s fanservice,” Hoseok murmurs back. “Do it for the fans.”

All Hoseok hears is Changkyun’s low, sensuous laugh; all he sees is desire simmering in his eyes as the younger pulls his shirt off.  

— 

 **ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ** @hojjangkyun   
GUESS WHO GOT THE BASS GUITAR PICK CHANGKYUN THREW AND A PIC OF CHANGKYUN TAKING WONHO'S SHIRT OFF????? 

my past life must've done something right #MonstaXinTokyo 💜  
[ picture ] [ picture ]

 

 **I HI-FIVED MX!!** 🙀 @tinysoftstan  
Guys 😭 I finally got to hear Kihyun sing Don’t Stop Me Now live 😭 I can die in peace 😭  
#MonstaXinTokyo

 

 **Cari** @neonnightlites   
Soo…… are we gonna talk about Changkyun stripping Wonho’s shirt off? No? Ok.   
[ picture ] [ picture ]   
[ picture ] [ picture ]

> **🎂birthday boy🎂** @SehyoonUndercover   
>  Replying to @neonnightlites   
> *softly* don’t

 

 **[s/h]** 🐸☕️ @memehyuk   
Oh no what happened to joohoney’s cheek? I hope he’s ok

> **hyungwon’s floppy bangs** @godho   
> A cut?? I think?? Can’t tell from the fansite previews :(

 

 **j.☂** @bluem00nrabbit   
rest.

> **Ki’s shoe shiner** @kingkihyun   
>  Replying to @bluem00nrabbit   
> What’s going on? Why rest?
> 
> **j.☂** @bluem00nrabbit   
> you haven’t seen lrt yet? :’)
> 
> **Ki’s shoe shiner** @kingkihyun   
> No I’m still out what happened?
> 
> **j.☂** @bluem00nrabbit   
> :’)
> 
> **Ki’s shoe shiner** @kingkihyun   
> Oh

 

 **MINHYUK LOCKDOWN** @chickheondrumsticks   
minhyuk just….. hits different…….   
[ picture ] [ picture ]

> **MINHYUK LOCKDOWN** @@chickheondrumsticks   
> it’s minhyuk hrs sorry jooheon i don’t make the rules

 

 **mara️‍🏳️‍🌈** @ultmonsterx   
Y’all freaking out over the wonkyun moment is giving me life   
[ gif of Michael Jackson eating popcorn ] 

— 

Hoseok is alone as he walks through the silent halls of the hotel. A million thoughts buzz in his mind, fuelled by the adrenaline rush from being onstage. The soaring joy of seeing their fans. The exhilaration of performing for them. The pride he feels for his band. 

The attraction he feels for a particular member.

The anticipation for what is yet to come later. 

He opens the door of the deserted men’s changing room, changes into his swimming trunks, leaving his belongings in a locker and taking with him only a hotel robe and a bottle of water. He pads out to the outdoor pool area, stretching briefly, before making his way to the hot tub.

It’s past midnight, and there are no other patrons using the pools — no one to shoo him out for having tattoos, no one to disrupt the silence hanging in the cool night air. Tonight, he’s the only one who gets to enjoy the hot water and the star-scattered sky.

Hoseok sets his robe and water bottle on the ledge and hisses with satisfaction as he lowers himself into the hot tub. And just as he thought, the hot water and pulsating jets feel like heaven on his sore muscles. Closing his eyes, he drags his hand through the surface of the water, trailing his fingertips through the foamy white surface and emptying his mind of all thoughts. Now’s a time for leisure and relaxation.  

The sound of bare feet on concrete approach him from behind. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” a familiar, deep voice intones playfully.

Hoseok smiles and licks his lips in anticipation. Relaxation can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 3 playlist:  
> \- _Feeling Good_ by Muse  
> \- _Michael_ by Franz Ferdinand
> 
> Ahhhhh what a hot mess this chapter is. Endless thanks to everyone who helped make it a *hot* mess and not just a plain mess ;A; cheers! 
> 
> As you guys can see, I've shamelessly inserted myself and some others in the fan tweets, and I also want to include you guys in future chapters too. If you'd be interested, please drop me a dm on twitter (see below), drop me your email through curious cat if you're not on twt (don't worry, I'll delete the Q right away without posting it -- only I will see it), or indicate in the comments what you'd like your username and handle to be (if you indicate in comments, I won't be able to ask you if you're okay with the content of the tweet, but I'll make it uncontroversial). Don't leave me hanging, guys!! 
> 
> Bonus points if you know whom the stylists are named after ;D 
> 
> ***
> 
> I’m bluem00nrabbit on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit). Come say hi or drop me a cc if you're shy!
> 
> What’s a rock band au without a playlist? Check it out [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)! It’s updated with each chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content.
> 
> Big thanks to [DoctorFatCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorFatCat/pseuds/DoctorFatCat/)-senpai for betaing! 
> 
> If you read Ch 3 before Jun 25, I've since made minor edits to it. The plot hasn't changed. [Here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/19keqUuATQlNZ_XDvlmj0W-EanJd8qVl1Se6oe-0y0gw/edit?usp=sharing) is a Gdoc with the changes highlighted if you want to skim. Otherwise, read on!

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Hoseok licks his lips at the sound of Changkyun’s deep, melodic voice approaching him from behind.

“Good evening,” he replies lightly, but doesn’t turn to face Changkyun. He wants to draw out the moment. “I was wondering when you were going to join me.”

“Oh,” says Changkyun playfully, “were you waiting for me?”

Hoseok finally turns around. Changkyun’s standing behind him in his swimming trunks, one hand clutching a hotel robe, the other resting jauntily on his hip. The maknae is such a sight to behold — his shoulders are wide and pretty, chest and abdominal muscles defined from weight training, and the _tattoos, oh God, the tattoos._ But the finishing piece is undoubtedly the bruise on his beautiful neck, clean of makeup and back under full display. There’s no way Changkyun doesn’t know what he’s doing to Hoseok by just standing there in his trunks, and he acknowledges Hoseok’s appreciation by preening under his gaze. 

“You know I was,” says Hoseok. It’s bewildering to think that Changkyun managed to wiggle his way under Hoseok’s skin so quickly, but Hoseok can’t bring himself to examine it too deeply right now. Not when Changkyun is standing there, scant feet away from him, with miles of soft, inked skin bared for his eyes to roam over.  

Changkyun gives a small, pleased smile and slips into the hot tub — first dipping his toes in to test the water, then his calves, then his gorgeous thighs that have been on display almost all day, until all that’s visible above the gently roiling surface of the water is the upper half of his chest.

He moans quietly as he settles into the hot water. “God this feels so good.”

“You know what would feel better?” asks Hoseok, watching Changkyun’s face. 

Changkyun raises a pierced eyebrow. 

“If you came closer.”

Changkyun bites his lip and stands, slowly walking over to where Hoseok’s sitting with his arms resting on the edge of the pool. He slots himself right up against Hoseok’s side and rests his full weight on him. The skin-on-skin contact reminds him of how it felt to hold Changkyun naked in his arms, and it makes his pulse quicken.

“Close enough?” Changkyun murmurs, gazing at Hoseok with hooded eyes. 

“For now,” Hoseok chuckles. He wraps an arm around Changkyun’s waist, drawing him closer to his chest, and Changkyun responds by melting against him and humming in satisfaction. The moment is so delicious; thick, golden and heavy, like honey being poured from a jar — Hoseok relaxes into it, letting it seep through his body and intoxicate him with its headiness. 

“The tour felt like it was never gonna end,” Changkyun muses out of nowhere. He shifts slightly and lifts his hand out of the water, gently tracing his wet fingertips along Hoseok’s collarbones. “But now it’s over and we’re going home tomorrow.”

“Time really flew, huh?” Hoseok replies. Changkyun’s fingers dip into the cleft between his pectorals and trail down his sternum. 

“Mhmm.” Changkyun circles his fingers on his sternum, on his pecs, tracing invisible shapes that tickle Hoseok’s skin. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“Isn’t that true,” Hoseok laughs. “Did you get to do everything you wanted in Japan?”

“Not yet,” says Changkyun. He submerges his wandering hand back into the water. Pressing his palm against Hoseok’s abdomen, he drags it down low, too low, until it’s resting just above his crotch. Hoseok’s core tightens. “I didn’t get to do you.”

Hoseok stares at Changkyun for a stunned moment. 

“Kyun, that was so bad,” he deadpans.

“Pffft,” Changkyun laughs. “Oh God, that was so cheesy.”

“So fuckin’ cheesy,” Hoseok chuckles. He’s starting to feel too warm, so he hoists himself out of the water and onto the ledge. The cool night air hits his skin, raising sensitive goosebumps. 

“You walked right into it though,” Changkyun snickers.

“I did,” admits Hoseok with a laugh. He leans back on his palms to look up at the sky. “Touché.”

Still half-submerged in the water, Changkyun pats the inside of his knees, silently asking Hoseok to part them. Curious to see what the maknae wants, Hoseok moves his legs a little wider apart, only to have Changkyun slide in, place his hands on the ledge right in front of Hoseok’s crotch, and rest his cheek demurely on his thigh. Hoseok’s cock twitches in interest as he drinks in the suggestive sight before him. He can clearly see the mark he sucked into the hollow behind his ear.

“You little demon,” Hoseok murmurs, stroking Changkyun’s jaw. Excitement tingles on his skin as Changkyun’s eyelids flutter in response. “You kept touching the bruise and rubbing the concealer off today.”

“Little demon?” Changkyun chuckles, nuzzling his cheek against his thigh. “Have you been calling me that in your head all day?” 

 _Not just all day, but the day before too._ But Changkyun doesn’t need to know.

“Why,” smirks Hoseok, “do you like that?”

Changkyun’s voice dips low. “I love it.”

“You had fun today, didn’t you?” asks Hoseok. He gently presses his thumb against the bruise behind Changkyun’s ear, then the one on his throat. “Running around in my shirt.”

“You know I did,” Changkyun smirks. He closes his eyes and places his lips on the sensitive skin of Hoseok’s inner thigh. 

The first kiss Changkyun plants on Hoseok’s water-slick skin is small and chaste, but still it sears with the heat of his intentions. It’s unequivocally sexual. There’s nothing innocent about kisses on the thighs, even between friends.

“But I saw the way you watched me,” Changkyun adds, flicking his eyes up to watch Hoseok’s reaction through his lashes. “I think you liked it more.”

Hoseok groans as Changkyun gently holds his thighs in place and plants more kisses along them, adding tiny kitten licks into the mix.

“Kyun, we’re outdoors,” he reminds him. He’s the elder; he has the responsibility of keeping his wits about him and keeping them out of trouble; he has Changkyun between his open thighs—

“It’s dark,” Changkyun mouths against his skin, leisurely laying open-mouthed kisses closer to his crotch. The way Changkyun’s fingers dig into his thighs feels so dominating, and it makes Hoseok want to say _yes_ to everything that comes out of Changkyun’s mouth. “We’ll be able to hear if someone comes. You could slip back into the water and no one would know.”

That makes… a lot of sense. In the _so wrong but so right_ kind of way. 

“Besides, isn’t this kind of exciting?”

“I should say no but I don’t even know how to justify it right now,” Hoseok says, closing his eyes. Changkyun suddenly sucks hard on his delicate skin, tearing a gasp from his throat.

A chuckle. “We could stop. Do you want to stop?”

“Don’t you dare stop, you brat,” Hoseok groans. He caresses Changkyun’s jaw, which only seems to spur the younger into boldness.

“Relax,” says Changkyun. He kisses all the way up Hoseok’s crotch and mouths at his cock through his wet trunks. “I’ll make you feel so good.”

If any shred of rational thought still existed in Hoseok’s mind, it vanished the moment the maknae put his lips on his bulge. He can barely find it in himself to protest as Changkyun peels down the sopping fabric of his trunks to draw his half-hard cock out. 

“Oh, _hyung,”_ Changkyun groans. “Of course you’d be huge.”

Slowly, Changkyun begins stroking his cock, working it to hardness. Maybe it’s the way the maknae squeezes rhythmically as he moves his hand up and down, or perhaps the way he watches Hoseok like a predator stalking its prey as he does so, or maybe just having a hand on his cock that’s not his own — whatever it is, Hoseok wants to cry with how good it feels to have Changkyun jerking him off.

“Kyun, look at you,” Hoseok moans, carding his fingers through the hair on the back of Changkyun’s neck. Changkyun chuckles and grazes his teeth lightly against the skin of Hoseok’s thigh. He bites down, making Hoseok’s toes curl from the sudden spark of pain, before soothing the red crescent left on his pale skin with a kiss. 

“Like what you see?” Changkyun murmurs. 

“God, yes,” Hoseok whispers, running his palm across Changkyun’s jaw. Still stroking Hoseok’s cock, Changkyun stares back at him with lust in his eyes before dropping his gaze back down and licking his lips. The sight of his pink tongue darting out sends thrills dancing down Hoseok’s spine, barely made better when Changkyun pauses his ministrations and begins pressing warm, wet kisses on his balls and mouthing up the length of his cock.

“Fuck,” Hoseok hisses. He can’t look away. Changkyun’s holding him loosely by the base of his dick now, leisurely kissing and licking along each vein. Every flick of his soft, pink tongue sends a ripple of pleasure through Hoseok. But it’s not enough. Not nearly enough.

Changkyun pauses for a moment, bringing a whine from Hoseok’s lips from the lack of stimulation. Slowly, tantalizingly, he presses a kiss to the head of Hoseok’s cock. His tongue darts out to tease at the slit. Hoseok’s riveted by the sight of Changkyun lapping away the bead of precome that collects there. His heart stops when Changkyun gives his cockhead one last filthy kiss before opening his mouth.

Changkyun’s lips look like heaven as they part to take Hoseok in. If the water of the hot tub was warm, it’s nothing compared to how warm and wet his mouth is. Changkyun’s heat surrounds Hoseok, enveloping him in fiery hot pleasure that only heightens when the younger hollows his cheeks and slowly begins sucking. Hoseok feels like he’s falling apart from the hot drag of Changkyun’s tongue on his cock. 

“Fuck, Kyun—”

It’s a blessing that the late hour that affords them this (relative) privacy, because there’s no holding back the loud gasps that escape Hoseok’s mouth once Changkyun goes to town on him. Hoseok leans back on the heel of one hand, other hand still resting in the crook beneath his jaw. Not once skipping a beat, Changkyun takes that hand and moves it to the back of his head, encouraging Hoseok to thread his fingers through his hair. When Hoseok obeys, Changkyun hums in approval, sending vibrations rippling through his body. The knowledge that he’s utterly at the younger’s mercy edges him closer to his peak. 

Little by little, Changkyun takes Hoseok in deeper, all while moaning quietly and rubbing his tongue along the underside of his cock. Changkyun releases his tight grip on one of Hoseok’s thighs and sneaks it under his balls, teasing them with his fingertips. Hoseok’s mind feels like mush as Changkyun’s possessive grip, his teasing fingers, his heavenly mouth ramp up the pressure building up inside him. 

“I’m gonna come soon,” he moans quietly, closing his eyes. Changkyun hums, continuing the steady pace that’s inching Hoseok closer and closer to the precipice. 

Suddenly, the sound of voices coming from behind the closed change room door cuts through the fog of lust in his mind and fills him with panic. His eyes snap open, darting around to gauge the surroundings. It sounds like the door hasn’t opened yet — he can’t see for the way the pool area is designed, with a wall jutting out that visually secludes the hot tub. It may buy them a precious few seconds, but only if they stop now.

“Changkyun!” he hisses, tapping on the younger's shoulder.

“Hmm?” Changkyun hums coyly. He continues sucking as though oblivious of the approaching interruption. The urgency of the situation does nothing to abate his enthusiasm, and somehow that only manages to tip Hoseok closer to the edge despite his panic.

“People are coming!” Hoseok whispers. Oh God, he’s so close. As Changkyun begins blowing him in earnest, Hoseok raises a hand to his mouth, biting down hard to muffle his gasps. 

Changkyun huffs an amused breath through his nose, then swallows Hoseok’s cock down to the base, bobbing his head up and down on it with a renewed vigour that seems spurred by the approaching danger. Hoseok feels like a wire that’s been pulled too taut, ready to snap any second. Changkyun seems to know too, for he digs his fingernails harder into Hoseok’s thighs and gives an extra hard suck that makes Hoseok’s body convulse with pleasure. With a stifled gasp, he spills his release into the tight heat of Changkyun’s throat _just_ as the change room door creaks open and the voices of their bandmates flood the pool area. 

As their disembodied voices and footsteps approach unseen, Hoseok stares at Changkyun in disbelief, watching him carefully pull off his cock. Changkyun’s wearing the smuggest smirk Hoseok’s ever seen as he deliberately swallows and licks his lips clean over his softening erection. With a satisfied hum, Changkyun tucks Hoseok back into his trunks and pulls him forward by the arms. Still stunned and recovering from the intensity of his orgasm, Hoseok follows Changkyun’s tugging and slips back into the water, submerging his relaxed, pliant body in its bubbling depths. 

“Pay me back later,” Changkyun whispers, and not a second later, Hyunwoo, Jooheon, and Hyungwon round the corner and greet them noisily. Despite the post-orgasmic fog that’s still clearing from his mind, Hoseok manages to croak out a greeting. 

“Ayy wazzup,” says Jooheon, waving cheerfully. With an ahjussi-esque _ahhhh_ he lowers himself into the water. Hyunwoo and Hyungwon follow, albeit more quietly. Hoseok hums his greeting and decides to calm his frayed nerves with a sip from his water bottle. 

“Hey,” replies Changkyun casually. His voice comes out a touch raspy. “You guys are up late.”

“We couldn’t leave without taking one last dip,” says Hyungwon, closing his eyes. Opening his eyes again, he peers at Changkyun with a confused line between his brows. “The hell happened to your voice, maknae?”

“Ah,” Changkyun coughs. “I went too hard—”

Hoseok chokes on a sip of water, prompting a raise of an eyebrow from Hyunwoo.

“—during the concert,” Changkyun finishes seamlessly. Under the water, he lays a hand on Hoseok’s thigh and squeezes, warning him to act natural. 

Changkyun then raises his hand above water again for the bottle of water, which Hoseok hands to him. As Changkyun drinks, Hoseok notices he’s holding the water in his mouth a couple seconds too long, moving his cheeks subtly as though swilling it between his teeth. 

Rinsing away the taste of come, Hoseok realizes, reeling at Changkyun’s boldness. _Little demon._

Changkyun sets the water bottle back on the ledge and stretches his arms towards the inky sky. 

“Ahh, I’m tired,” he sighs, a content smile dancing on his lips. 

“You should rest up, bro,” says Jooheon, giving Changkyun a jovial slap on the shoulder. His smile drops and his eyes narrow slightly at Changkyun’s neck. Hoseok nervously wonders if he’s spotted the bruise.

“Mhmm,” adds Hyungwon, leaning back with his eyes closed. 

“I think I’m gonna go to bed now,” says Changkyun. He wades over to the stairs and lifts himself out of the water. Looking over his shoulder, he adds cheerfully, “Good night, everyone.”

“I’ll see you later, Kyun,” Hoseok replies, trying not to be conspicuous about admiring the way Changkyun’s wet trunks cling to the swell of his ass. Changkyun gives him one last look — a silent instruction to wait a bit before following — before draping his shoulders with the hotel robe he left by the pool and walking away. 

When Changkyun’s out of sight, Jooheon leans forward and says in a hushed voice, “Guys did you see—”

“How come Kihyun and Minhyuk didn’t come down?” Hoseok interrupts hastily, grasping at the first thing that comes to his mind — anything to divert the conversation from the bruises left on Changkyun’s neck. He hopes the bite mark on his own is inconspicuous under the cover of the night.

“Minhyukkie wanted to keep Kihyun company,” Hyungwon explains with a bummed-out sigh, finally opening his eyes again. “Said they were both tired.”

“Kihyunnie-hyung did seemed really out of it today,” says Jooheon slowly, tilting his head in thought. “What do you think, Hoseok-hyung?”

If Hoseok’s honest, he didn’t notice much today beyond Changkyun. Changkyun in bed. Changkyun wearing his shirt. Changkyun backstage. Changkyun onstage. Changkyun’s scent. Changkyun’s skin. Changkyun’s lips. 

“Uh, yeah,” he says, shaking the image of the maknae kissing his thighs out of his head. “Kihyunnie seemed really tired. Must be because the tour was so long.”

“Bomi and Yeoreum were telling me his dark circles were worse than usual,” says Hyunwoo, contemplatively scratching his chin. “He’s probably not getting enough sleep.”

“It’s so weird that you’re close with our stylist noonas,” says Jooheon with a shudder.

“You’d be close with them too if you were stuck watching a bunch of rowdy kids like we are,” Hyunwoo laughs. 

“Bomi-noona and Yeoreum-noona are great,” Hyungwon drawls. “They let me sleep while they do my hair and makeup.”

As the others continue their discussion, Hoseok’s mind wanders to Changkyun. He wonders what Changkyun is doing now, what he’s thinking now. For all the touching and teasing and kissing they snuck in all day, the younger still hasn’t come yet. Is he back in their shared room yet? Is he getting himself off, thinking about the heated moments they shared today? Did he start without Hoseok, or — and it makes Hoseok’s mind fog with lust to entertain the idea — is he sprawled on the bed they slept in last night, waiting for him to return? 

“Hey guys,” he cuts in, trying to infuse his voice with just enough exhaustion to sound genuine. “I think I’m gonna head up now.”

Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Hyunwoo turn their eyes to him. He pastes a weary smile onto his face and makes his way to the stairs. Once he’s out of their sight and earshot, he’ll book it back to the room.

“Actually, I think I will too,” says Hyunwoo, standing up. “I wanna check on Kihyunnie.”

_Well. So much for booking it._

“Okay,” replies Hyungwon. “Jagi, do you want to stay a little longer?”

“Oh. sure,” says Jooheon, blushing lightly. “We’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yup,” says Hoseok. He lifts himself out of the water, he casually angling himself away from the others to hide the bite mark on his thigh. “Don’t stay up too late, guys.”

“Mmm, you too hyung.”

As Hyunwoo exits the hot tub, Hoseok scoops up his bottle and hotel robe, wrapping himself up and turning up the collar to hide his incriminating marks. Trying to refrain from fidgeting in impatience, he waits for Hyunwoo to join him.

Hyunwoo doesn’t speak as they make their way back to the change room. His contemplative silence seeps through the chlorine-scented air between them, bounces off the walls as they towel off and change, and fills the elevator as they ride up to their floor. Hoseok doesn’t really mind — it’s rather shitty of him but even he knows that with the anticipation of what’s waiting for him in his room, he’d be a poor listener and conversation partner. 

As the numbers slowly creep up on the display above the elevator door, Hyunwoo finally speaks. 

“I hope Kihyunnie’s okay.” 

Hoseok pats Hyunwoo on the back. “I’m sure he’ll bounce back after resting up when we get home.”

“Hmm.”

When the elevator door slides open, Hyunwoo still looks dubious, so Hoseok follows him to Kihyun and Minhyuk’s room and waits with him as Minhyuk opens the door. 

“Um,” says Hyunwoo. “Is Kihyunnie…?”

A complicated expression flits over Minhyuk’s face for a fraction of a second. “Yeah, we’re just watching cartoons right now.”

Hyunwoo shifts on the spot. “Can I…”

Minhyuk steps aside, letting Hyunwoo pass. 

“I’m gonna head back to my room, then,” says Hoseok, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. “‘Night, guys.”

“Good night, hyung.” 

And the door closes. _Fuck, yes._

Hoseok speed-walks to his own door. With hands shaking from impatience, he swipes the keycard and pushes the door open. The sound of the shower fills the dark, lamp-lit room, and strangely so does the wet scent of water. _Changkyun must be showering still._ Hoseok follows their trail to the bathroom door and notes with a thrill that it’s ajar. If Changkyun knew Hoseok would be back in the room shortly… then the open door clearly must be an invitation. Hoseok takes a deep breath and pushes it open.

Changkyun is inside the glass-walled shower, standing under the cascade of water with his back turned to Hoseok. It’s such a stunning sight that Hoseok has to pause and lean back against the counter to admire it. With his back arching slightly, Changkyun looks like a figurine in a glass case: the model of perfection, or an object of desire, unattainable for the glass separating him from Hoseok’s touch — that is, until he turns around, giving him a clear view of his nakedness. His lips melt into a coy, inviting smile.

“Took you long enough,” says Changkyun, crossing his arms loosely. “Get in here.”

Hoseok’s skin is vibrating with excitement as he undresses under Changkyun’s patient gaze. He knows he looks good undressing, so he takes his time. They’ll have all night for whatever’s going to happen, anyway. First goes his tight T-shirt — he grasps it at the base and peels it off his torso, tossing it inside out onto the floor. And then his shorts, which he slowly lowers and kicks to the side, exposing the tattoo on his left thigh and the red bite mark on his right. And then lastly, his boxer briefs — he hooks his thumbs into the waistband and tugs them down, freeing his cock from their confines. He’s still soft, but with the way Changkyun is staring hungrily at him, he’s not sure for how long. 

Hoseok pads over to the shower and tugs the glass door open. If Changkyun looked irresistible when they were separated by the water-spattered pane of glass, he looks absolutely divine now. Hoseok can’t tear his eyes away from the rivulets of water that sluice over the fine black lines of his tattoos and in the divots between his muscles. From the way Changkyun stares back, eyes running up and down the length of his body, the sentiment is enthusiastically returned. 

Hoseok’s seen Changkyun naked before, held Changkyun’s naked body before, pleasured Changkyun’s naked body before, but still his heart gallops like a thousand horses as he steps into the shower and under the stream of water with Changkyun. 

“Hyung,” Changkyun moans, uncrossing his arms to reach for Hoseok. 

Hoseok wastes no time in pulling Changkyun’s water-slick body flush against his own. Fuck being shy about their cocks bumping together. He’s been hungering for this all day. 

“Kyun,” he growls. Changkyun’s lips fall open, perhaps about to reply, but Hoseok silences him with a fierce kiss that has the younger moaning and scratching enthusiastically at his shoulders and back. Hoseok backs Changkyun up against the wall without missing a beat, causing the younger to gasp as his skin hits the cold tiled surface. Hoseok takes advantage of this to slip his tongue into Changkyun’s mouth, licking against the roof of his mouth and drawing out loud muffled moans. 

They’re pressed chest to chest but it’s not close enough, not nearly close enough. With his lips still on Changkyun’s, Hoseok runs his hands down Changkyun’s back, giving his plush ass a squeeze, before hooking them under his lush thighs. Changkyun gives a tiny yelp as Hoseok hoists him up, then quickly wraps his legs around Hoseok’s waist, trapping his erection between their stomachs. 

Changkyun breaks away from Hoseok to gasp out, “You better not get me all worked up just to ditch me again.”

Hoseok smirks and nips at Changkyun’s collarbone. Changkyun growls in frustration and tilts Hoseok’s chin up, trying to press their lips together again. 

“Why would I do that?” Hoseok murmurs, laying kisses on Changkyun’s neck instead. 

“Because you’re a sadist and that’s what sadists do,” Changkyun grits out. He thrusts his hips, trying to chase friction against Hoseok’s abdomen. “Hyung, please, I’m going crazy.”

“Hold on tight, then.” 

Hoseok lets go of one of Changkyun’s thighs and gives it a pat, warning him to wrap them tighter around his waist. When Changkyun’s thighs are clamped like a vice around him, sending his head spinning with all the dirty possibilities for future positions, Hoseok takes Changkyun’s cock in his hand, slowly massaging it. Satisfaction simmers in his belly as Changkyun keens and arches at his touch. 

“Mmmm, hyung.”

“Not too loud,” Hoseok teases as he jerks Changkyun off. He latches his lips to one of Changkyun’s nipples and kisses it gently. When Changkyun moans in response, he sucks a little harder, turning the bud red. “Our neighbours will hear you.”

“Don’t fuckin’ care,” Changkyun groans. “Ugh, yes, hyung.”

“Does that feel good?” asks Hoseok. The feel of Changkyun’s cock — familiar, but still new — in his hand turns him on so much. The heat. The weight. They way Changkyun writhes with pleasure when Hoseok strokes it.

“So good. Oh God, I’m so close it’s embarrassing.”

“Then come,” says Hoseok. His muscles are starting to strain from supporting Changkyun’s weight, but damned if he doesn’t want to feel the younger tense up and quiver as he climaxes against him. 

“A-ah, hyung—”

“Go on, Kyun,” says Hoseok. With his eyes glazed over and his panting lips parted, Changkyun looks so close. “Come for hyung.”

With a strangled yell, Changkyun clamps his thighs tight around Hoseok’s waist and comes all over Hoseok’s hand, painting their stomachs white with his come. As he slumps against Hoseok’s shoulder while coming down from his high, Hoseok lays tiny little kisses along his pretty neck. The warm water of the shower continues to rain down on them, washing away the spatters of come on their stomachs.  

“Fuck, that felt good,” Changkyun pants, dragging a hand through his wet hair to brush it back from his brow. “Fuck, hyung.”

Hoseok chuckles and slowly lowers him back down to the tiled floor. Changkyun switches off the shower, then winds his arms around Hoseok’s neck again and kisses him leisurely. Despite the air quickly cooling his wet skin, Hoseok melts into the kiss, drawing Changkyun close and moaning into his mouth. His lips taste like the drops of water still lingering from their shower. Changkyun’s hand snakes between their hips and wraps around his erection. 

 _Oh. Right._ He’s hard again. And Changkyun’s hand feels so good around his cock.

“Mmm,” Changkyun murmurs. “You’re hard.”

“Mhmm.”

“Let’s take it to the bed.”

Changkyun’s body is sensually pliant as Hoseok moves them out of the shower and dries them off. He clings onto Hoseok, presses his lips to Hoseok’s neck, his shoulders, so Hoseok scoops him up in his arms, strides over to their shared bed, and tosses him on top of the covers. 

Lying against the pillows, Changkyun smirks at Hoseok and opens his thighs invitingly. The dim light of the lamp casts a golden glow over his skin and carves dramatic shadows in the grooves of his muscles. Hoseok can tell by the smugness of his smile that he knows he looks good. He trails his eyes along the length of Changkyun’s body — those soft, smirking lips that had wrapped so hotly around his cock; the toned, tattooed chest with sensitive, dusky brown nipples that perked up under his touch; the tight abs that looked delicious splattered with come; lush thighs that gripped his waist so tightly…

Changkyun’s cock, still flaccid against his thigh. 

“Do you want to take a picture?” Changkyun teases, arching his back slightly off the bed. 

“I think I’m good,” Hoseok laughs and crawls onto the bed, caging Changkyun under him. Changkyun immediately wraps his legs around him again, drawing his body softly against his. They both moan when their cocks come into contact.

Changkyun’s not smirking anymore now that Hoseok’s on top of him. His eyes are hooded and his breaths come out in shallow pants from parted lips. He stares up at Hoseok as though waiting for him to make the next move. 

It’s funny. Hoseok’s had Changkyun’s cock in his hand twice now. He’s shot his load in Changkyun’s mouth, and they’ve made out twice, but he still doesn’t really know what it’s like to kiss him. The first time they were trying their best to stay quiet in the dark belly of the backstage area. The second time, all Hoseok could really taste were droplets of water dripping down their faces from the shower. 

Well, time to remedy that.

He leans down and kisses Changkyun, first slowly and gently. Changkyun hums against his lips and kisses back, and Hoseok’s mind hazes over with pleasure. He deepens the kiss and Changkyun melts under him, opening his mouth for Hoseok’s tongue to explore. A thrill runs up Hoseok’s spine and shoots straight to his cock when Changkyun’s hot, slippery tongue darts out to meet his own. 

As their kisses grow hungrier, more heated, Changkyun’s fingernails dig into Hoseok’s back and his legs tighten around his waist, drawing them tightly together. Tentatively, Hoseok thrusts his stiff cock against Changkyun’s growing erection, hissing slightly at the dry friction.  

Not breaking their kiss, Changkyun’s hands leave Hoseok’s back and grapple for something on the nightstand. A moment later, a hand sneaks between their bodies and wraps around Hoseok’s cock, slicking it up with a cold and wet substance. Hoseok gasps in shock and pleasure at the sensation. 

“Fuck, Kyun! You could’ve warned me.”

“I’m not sorry,” Changkyun chuckles. 

“‘Course you’re not, you little demon,” Hoseok murmurs against his lips. 

Changkyun kisses back for a few seconds, then whispers, “I like ‘little demon’ more than ‘brat.’”

“You’re still a brat,” Hoseok retorts, grinding their cocks together. They both moan in pleasure at the sticky glide between their hot flesh — courtesy of the hotel’s complimentary lotion, if Hoseok’s not mistaken. “So fucking bossy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Changkyun sighs, rocking back up against Hoseok. “God, hyung, want you to fuck me.”

“Fuck,” Hoseok moans. His mind melts at the idea. “You can’t just say shit like that.”

“Why not?” Changkyun rumbles in his ear. “Think about how good it’ll feel. Your big, fat cock inside me…”

“No lube or condoms,” Hoseok gasps, but his mind is already miles ahead of him, imagining a similar scenario, but one where he’s pounding into Changkyun instead of thrusting his hips against his. His cock kicks at the mental image and spurts a bit of precome. 

“Then fuck my thighs,” Changkyun moans. 

“W-what?”

Changkyun pushes Hoseok off him by the shoulders and gets up into a kneeling position on the pillows. He tosses the bottle of lotion to a confused Hoseok before turning around and bracing his hands against the headboard. Looking over his shoulder, he smirks at Hoseok.

“What are you waiting for, hyung?”

Hoseok lets out a groan as realization finally dawns on him. He quickly dumps a dollop of lotion onto his hand and reaches between Changkyun’s thighs. As he slathers the lotion onto his sensitive skin, slicking them up, Changkyun moans and arches his back, thrusting his ass towards Hoseok. Hoseok chuckles and spanks him, drawing a loud gasp. 

“Not so loud,” says Hoseok, now slicking up his cock. He kneels behind Changkyun and grasps his hips, nudging his legs closed with his knees. “The walls are thin, remember?”

“Do you remember you were supposed to get on with it?” Changkyun sasses back, wiggling his hips in Hoseok’s hold. Hoseok lands another smack on his asscheek, then gets in position to push in. 

He lets out a long, pleasured groan as he sinks his dick between Changkyun’s plush thighs, right in the tight gap under his balls. After a few shallow thrusts, he reaches a hand around the younger’s hips and grips his cock, jerking him off in time with his thrusting. 

With the way he’s pounding his hips against Changkyun’s ass, and the way Changkyun’s closed thighs provide a tight pocket of slick warmth for him to plunge into, it’s almost like he’s fucking him for real. Changkyun responds beautifully to Hoseok’s hips slapping against his backside — he pushes back each time, meeting him thrust for thrust, perhaps imagining Hoseok’s cock grinding deep inside him rather than thrusting shallowly between his thighs and grazing the underside of his balls. Hoseok is driven wild with every little gasp and moan Changkyun lets out. 

It feels so fucking good. Hoseok’s thighs are starting to shake from exhaustion. Changkyun’s cock is hot and heavy in his hand, and when Hoseok dips his hand lower to tease at his balls, he can feel that they’re tight and drawn up — Changkyun’s close to coming again. The pressure builds up in his body, and he knows he won’t last much longer.  

“H-hyung,” Changkyun whimpers.

“Yeah, Kyun?” Hoseok replies between straining breaths. God, he’s so close, so fucking close— 

“I’m coming!”

—

It’s not entirely unheard of, but on the morning of their flight back to Seoul, Minhyuk is the one who wakes up promptly to their eight A.M. alarm, while Kihyun slumbers on in the neighbouring bed. Minhyuk turns off the alarm, stretches, and smiles at the purple mop that peeks out of the snowy white covers. But when the memory of how exhausted and lacklustre his best friend was last night, the smile drops from his face. 

He sits down on Kihyun’s bed and strokes his hair, trying to carefully rouse him from sleep. “Kihyun-ah. Wake up.”

“Mmm?” Kihyun shifts slightly, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Hyunwoo-hyung?”

Minhyuk smiles sadly. “No, it’s Minhyuk.” 

“Hey Minhyukkie,” Kihyun mumbles, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Are we running late?” 

“Nope, we’re right on schedule.”

“Mmm.” Kihyun slides out of bed and trudges to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, they’re walking into the hotel’s restaurant. To Minhyuk’s surprise, Changkyun is already seated at a long table with a cup of coffee at his elbow. Changkyun looks up from his English newspaper and waves them over.

“Hey maknae,” says Kihyun, dropping heavily into a chair. Minhyuk slides into the one beside him and picks up a menu. 

“Morning guys,” greets Changkyun. “Sleep well?”

“Define well,” Kihyun jokes darkly. Changkyun directs a miniscule, questioning frown at Minhyuk, who shrugs wryly in response. 

“Is Hoseok-hyung not up yet?” asks Minhyuk. 

“He was still asleep when I left,” says Changkyun, scratching behind his ear. He’s been doing that since yesterday. Time to test his hypothesis. 

“He must be worn out after last night, huh?” Minhyuk ventures. 

“Huh?” says Changkyun.

“The concert.”

Changkyun’s features are carefully schooled into impassivity, but there’s no mistaking the pink that creeps up his neck. “Probably.”

 _Hypothesis partially confirmed._  

A gaggle of voices approaching their table makes them look up. Hoseok and Hyunwoo are walking towards them with Jooheon and Hyungwon in tow. Minhyuk waves at them all, and Hyungwon and Jooheon beam at him like he’s the very sunshine that warms their world. Wordlessly, Changkyun pours a cup of coffee from his pot and pushes it into the space across from him, which Hoseok immediately occupies. Beside Minhyuk, Kihyun tenses as Hyunwoo sits across from him. 

Hyungwon and Jooheon occupy the last remaining chairs, sitting side by side. Minhyuk’s heart throbs dully as he watches them murmur to each other over the breakfast menu. His two ex boyfriends, also ex boyfriends to each other… Minhyuk couldn’t love either of them the way they needed, so eventually they found their way to each other. He was so sure they’d last, but they didn’t. Now the three of them are doomed to orbit around each other, never being able to let each other go.

_Life is funny like that. And I’m the butt of the joke._

“Changkyunnie!” Hoseok’s whiny voice pops the bubble of Minhyuk’s thoughts. Hoseok slurps loudly on his coffee before continuing. “How come you didn’t wait for me?”

“You were sleeping,” Changkyun says matter-of-factly before taking a neat sip from his own mug. “And the alarm didn’t go off yet.” 

Hoseok pouts. “You still could’ve woken me up.” 

Changkyun quirks a smile and shrugs. “I tried, hyung, but you were dead to the world.”

Hoseok’s pout intensifies, making him look more like a child than the twenty-six-year-old leader of a rock band. Covertly, Minhyuk watches as Changkyun lowers his newspaper and stares back at Hoseok with a slight smirk on his face. In response, Hoseok’s expression melts into the subtlest of bedroom eyes back at the maknae. _Huh._

Minhyuk’s eyes trace over their necks. Where there’d been a couple suspicious smudges yesterday, there are new smatterings of concealed bruises today. 

 _Hypothesis confirmed,_ he thinks a touch smugly. _Not that it matters what two consenting adults get up to behind closed doors._

The waiter arrives and takes their orders. Minhyuk’s been so absorbed in his thoughts and observations that he hasn’t chosen anything, so he hastily points at something at random. Hopefully he’ll have the appetite for it. 

When the waiter leaves, Hyunwoo turns his attention to Kihyun. 

“Hey Kihyun-ah, how are you feeling?” he asks gently. His voice is laced with concern so tender that it pierces through Minhyuk’s heart with its sincerity.

“Oh!” Kihyun hastily sets down his cup of coffee. Minhyuk cringes inwardly at the falsely bright tone of his voice. “I’m feeling much better, hyung!”

 _Oh, Kihyun,_ thinks Minhyuk. _You don’t have to lie like that. Not to hyung._

“Are you sure?” Hyunwoo’s brows knit together. “You were really out of it yesterday.”

“Yeah! It’s just a one-time thing,” says Kihyun, waving a flippant hand. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“Ah, okay then,” Hyunwoo smiles. “I’m glad.”

Minhyuk wonders who is the bigger fool between them — Kihyun, for telling the lie, or Hyunwoo, for swallowing it. 

“Minhyuk-ah,” says Hyungwon, drawing his attention. God, he loves the way Hyungwon calls his name. “We missed you last night.”

“Last night?”

“In the hot tub,” Hyungwon clarifies.

Right. Last night. In the hot tub. Hyunwoo told him he’d left them alone in the hot tub. Casually tossed it out like it wouldn’t stab into Minhyuk’s heart like a blade. 

They had each other all night. How could Hyungwon talk about missing Minhyuk?

Minhyuk splits his face into a cheerful grin. 

“I missed you too,” he chirps, blowing a kiss in response. 

_Who’s the fool now, Lee Minhyuk?_

“Hyung, make it up to me. Sit with me on the plane,” Jooheon requests. His eyes are bright and hopeful. 

Minhyuk wants to say yes. He wants to curl up between Hyungwon and Jooheon and hold hands with them and be loved by both of them. He wishes they didn’t go to the hot tub. He wishes hot tubs never existed. He wants to be alone. 

“Sorry Heonnie,” he says, still smiling. Kihyun protests slightly when he slaps an arm over his shoulder. “I’m sitting with Tiny.”

Jooheon face falls; even Hyungwon looks taken aback. Minhyuk feels like utter shit. 

_You don’t get to look at me like that when you guys already have each other._

“I’ll sit with you,” Hyungwon says to Jooheon softly before casting another disappointed glance at Minhyuk. Jooheon looks gratefully back at Hyungwon, but it’s shadowed by hurt. Minhyuk knows that look. 

Minhyuk doesn’t feel like sunshine. He feels like grey sheets of rain that will collect into a devastating flood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 4 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Supermassive Black Hole_ by Muse  
> \- _Drunk In Love_ by Beyoncé (no, you cannot stop me from putting Beyoncé songs in my playlist for my rock band au fic)  
> \- _Baby Don't Like It_ by NCT 127 (bed springs, bitch)
> 
> I'm screeching icb I wrote 6.6k words for this chapter when I honestly though it would only be ~5k. You're welcome!! Jk jk truly thank you for reading this mess -- and a big big thank you to everyone who's reached out to say hi! You guys made my week <3
> 
> Sorry not sorry for any typos @___@ I'll look over again tomorrow or something. 
> 
> So how about that POV switch? Thoughts? There's more of them to come >:D
> 
> ***
> 
> I’m bluem00nrabbit on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit). Come say hi or scream with me! I don't bite ;w;
> 
> What’s a rock band au without a playlist? Check it out [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)! It’s updated with each chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Monsta X**  
Hoo! Monsta X! Hello, we’re Monsta X!

 **Interviewer** **  
** Welcome back to Seoul! And congratulations on wrapping up your Japan tour!

 **Monsta X** **  
** Thank you!

 **Interviewer**  
How does it feel to be back?

 **Minhyuk**  
Japan was amazing but there’s no place like home, for sure.

 **Wonho**  
I’ll miss Japan Monbebes though… 

 **Interviewer**  
Naturally! How was the tour? 

 **Jooheon**  
Oh, it was amazing. Monbebes are so full of energy.

 **Hyungwon**  
Every stop was special. 

 **Interviewer**  
I’m sure you guys get asked what was your favourite part of the tour all the time, but we want to ask what did you guys do in your downtime?

 **I.M**  
Downtime was like vacation for us. I think we all did activities that were more suited to our interests… 

 **Jooheon**  
I went restaurant hopping with Hyunwoo-hyung — uh, our manager — a few times.

 **Hyungwon**  
_Laughs._ I went ham on shopping with Kihyun and Minhyuk. They’re the best enablers. 

 **Minhyuk**  
_Winks, shoots finger guns._

 **Kihyun**  
Changkyunnie likes sightseeing, so he did that a lot by himself.

 **Wonho**  
And with me!

 **Monsta X**  
_Laughs._

 **I.M**  
Yes, who could forget you, hyung?

 **Interviewer**  
Now, you guys are always improving, always growing, and that’s reflected by your expanding sales and bigger concert venues—

 **Monsta X**  
Thank you so much!

 **Interviewer**  
I’m only telling the truth! But could you tell us what are some strengths of yours that made the tour such a success?

 **Wonho**  
I think it has to be our commitment to communicating with each other. When things go wrong, it’s hard on all of us, but we always try to work things through without taking it personally. 

 **Jooheon**  
We all have different personalities, but instead of seeing it as an obstacle, we see it as a strength. 

 **Interviewer**  
And that’s what makes Monsta X such a dream team! Now, the question we’re all dying to know the answer to… What are your plans now that the tour is done? 

 **Kihyun**  
Since Monbebes’ anniversary is coming up, we have a fancon scheduled on September 26th. 

 **Interviewer**  
What can Monbebes expect at the fancon?

 **Minhyuk**  
Oof, many things! 

 **Wonho**  
We have something special planned for Monbebes! We’re really excited to share it with everyone, so please anticipate it!

 **Interviewer**  
We are all eagerly anticipating!

—

Hyunwoo unlocks the front door of the dorm and the others tumble in after him, chattering as they take their jackets and shoes off. Since their return to Seoul, the band has had a continuous string of interviews and shoots with magazines and news outlets eager for a word from them regarding their upcoming activities. After a solid week back, Hyunwoo’s glad to see the last of their interviews neatly wrapped up. 

“Hoseok-ah,” he admonishes, “in order for you to promise fans you have something special planned for the fancon, you actually have to _have_ something planned.” 

“I know,” Hoseok quips back with a carefree grin. “I was just speaking it into existence so now we have to commit to it.”

Hyunwoo sighs. It’s a good thing they submitted their proposal early, and that the CEO believed in artistic autonomy. Otherwise, Hyunwoo would not know how to deal with not being able to fulfil Hoseok’s fanciful promise to the fans, or the resulting funk the band’s leader would undoubtedly be in. 

“Luckily for you, the boss said you guys can have free rein over unit stages.”

“Yes!” Hoseok crows. “See, I knew everything would turn out fine.”

“Ooooh, you’re in luck this time, hyung,” Changkyun snickers. “Hyunwoo-hyung covered your ass.”

In the corner of Hyunwoo’s eye, he spies Hoseok jabbing his fingers into the maknae’s sides in retaliation and shakes his head humorously at their childishness. The others laugh at their antics too, but Kihyun’s silence draws Hyunwoo’s attention.

“Like… _carte blanche?”_ asks Kihyun thoughtfully, slowly folding his light jacket over his arm. “We can do _anything_ we want?”

“Within reason,” Hyunwoo amends, curiously watching Kihyun’s expression. Kihyun merely nods, looking lost in his own thoughts. The pensiveness in the younger’s eyes is a change from the dull exhaustion that’s been clouding them lately, and Hyunwoo can only hope that it bodes well.

“Minhyukkie-hyung, Hyungwonnie-hyung, I want to do a unit stage with you guys,” says Jooheon, snagging them both by their hands.

“With — me too?” Minhyuk stutters, wide-eyed. 

Jooheon nods firmly. There’s something decisive in the way his mouth is set, with the corners hardened. Hyunwoo recognizes that expression — Jooheon won’t take no for an answer. 

“Ah, okay,” Minhyuk answers, sounding not very okay. His large eyes swivel to Hyungwon. “Hyungwonnie?”

“I’m okay with that,” Hyungwon squeaks. 

“Good,” says Jooheon simply. He smiles softly at them before returning to his room.  

Hoseok flops onto the couch, sticking his legs out to trip Changkyun. The maknae yowls as he topples into Hoseok’s open arms.

“I guess it’s us three then?” says Hoseok, looking up inquisitively at Kihyun like he’s not strangling Changkyun between his biceps. 

Kihyun frowns. 

“… I think I’d like to do a solo… If that’s okay?” he asks tentatively. 

Hoseok sits up and releases Changkyun. Cocking his head, he replies, “I don’t see why not.” 

A small smile creeps over Kihyun’s lips, and Hyunwoo releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“Thanks,” says Kihyun, not dropping his tiny smile. 

“I can’t wait to see what you come up with, hyung,” says Changkyun with a soft eagerness. 

Kihyun’s smile grows at the maknae’s enthusiasm. “Thanks, Changkyunnie.”

With a lighter spring in his step, Kihyun disappears down the hallway, swinging his jacket from his hand. Hyungwon and Minhyuk both follow in contemplative silence. As Hyunwoo wanders to the kitchen to find something to munch on, he hears Hoseok and Changkyun talking.

“Jjangkyunnie, what should we do for our unit stage?”

“I dunno hyung, quit _manhandling me—”_  

At the sound of their playful banter, Hyunwoo quickens his pace to leave the living room. He’s not entirely sure what’s going on with those two, and judging by his conversation with Hoseok aboard the Shinkansen to Tokyo, he’s not sure _they_ know what’s going on either. He has his suspicions, but whatever the case, he’s absolutely certain he’s not down to witness them put their hands all over each other if he doesn’t have to. 

— 

The sounds of an acoustic guitar drift down the hallway as Hyunwoo walks through it. He can tell the player is testing out a new piece, for the music halts every so often only to repeat itself on the same bars. The strumming stops when Hyunwoo knocks on Kihyun’s door.

“Hey, Kihyunnie, can I come in?”

“Yeah sure,” Kihyun’s voice rings back.

Hyunwoo’s heart beats faster as he turns the knob and pushes the door open. Inside his bedroom, Kihyun’s sitting cross-legged on his bed with his acoustic guitar on his lap. In front of him are an open notebook and his iPad. 

Kihyun looks up to greet Hyunwoo, smiling with the beauty of the sun peeking through parting clouds. Hyunwoo’s heart skips a beat. Onstage, Kihyun is a tsunami, a demon, an enigma, but Hyunwoo secretly likes him best like this: with his purple hair washed clean of product and the makeup removed from his face. He looks fresher and more relaxed, but also more tired. 

“Hey hyung,” he says softly, looking up at Hyunwoo. Warmth floods through Hyunwoo as Kihyun shuffles over on his bed to make room for him. 

“What are you doing right now?” he asks, sitting cross-legged across from Kihyun.

“I’m going through some playlists looking for a song to cover,” says Kihyun, nodding at his iPad. “It’s been so long since I’ve played guitar onstage that Monbebes probably forgot I don’t just sing.”

Hyunwoo props an elbow onto his knee and rests his cheek in his palm. He wonders if Kihyun misses his acoustic roots, and whether he’ll return to them for his performance. He’s so full of creative fire and individuality, but has had to compromise a lot to fit the band’s image and sound. 

Smiling at Kihyun, Hyunwoo remarks, “It’s nice to see you so excited for your solo stage. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”

“Thanks, hyung.” Kihyun smiles, a charming pink flush creeping over his cheeks. “I’m glad we finally have time to sit down and relax now.” 

Hyunwoo chuckles. He can think of no truer words. “It’s good to be back, isn’t it?”

“That’s an understatement,” says Kihyun. The smile slips off his face, and he begins absentmindedly picking at one of the strings, punctuating the calm silence with stabs of sound. The momentary joy of being alone with Kihyun vanishes completely at the younger’s troubled expression.

“We didn’t really get to talk ‘til now but… you had me worried on that last day in Tokyo.”

“Oh, that…” Kihyun’s eyes drop and his hand stills over the strings. 

Hyunwoo’s heart squeezes painfully. Carefully he removes the guitar from Kihyun’s lap and takes the younger’s hands into his own. He feels guilty; these hands are not his to hold, but he also knows Kihyun finds comfort in this simple gesture. “Are you okay? Talk to me.”

Kihyun’s hands tense momentarily but don’t flinch away. 

“I’m okay,” he begins. Hyunwoo dreads the words that will follow. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Kihyun buries all his emotions away and pretends they were never there. 

But Kihyun continues. “But I’m also not okay… I couldn’t sleep well the night before the last concert and… it just hit me out of nowhere, how exhausted I was.”

Hyunwoo’s brows knit together. He senses Kihyun has more to say, so he encourages him to continue with a nod. 

“Then suddenly every little thing started getting to me. Noises from the next room, the others taking forever to get up. I’m really glad Minhyukkie stayed with me that night, to be honest,” says Kihyun, laughing humourlessly. “If he hadn’t, I probably would’ve broken down or something.” 

The way Kihyun laughs away what happened brings a painful mix of emotions. Shock that the younger is so dismissive of it. Sadness that he had to go through it. Failure for not being there for him. 

Hurt that Kihyun didn’t tell him.

As soon as the wave of hurt hits him, Hyunwoo hates himself for it. Having feelings for Kihyun doesn’t entitle him to be his safe harbour, as much as he yearns to be. Kihyun and Minhyuk have always been the better of friends, even back in university. Hyunwoo can’t begrudge him that, nor can he blame Kihyun for wanting his best friend’s company over his during a low.

Hyunwoo’s not blind either. He knows about Kihyun’s little crush on him. He sees the way Kihyun looks at him when he thinks he’s not watching, feels it in his shy touches. If he’s honest, he worries that he might be encouraging the infatuation by sitting here on Kihyun’s bed, caring about him. But Hyunwoo is only human, and he can’t stand the thought of not knowing if Kihyun’s okay or if he’s hurting.

Subconsciously he squeezes Kihyun’s hands, causing the younger’s eyes to widen in surprise. 

“Oh no, don’t worry,” Kihyun says in a rush. “Minhyukkie helped me a lot. He talked to me and helped me get all my thoughts out.”

“Minhyuk’s good at that,” says Hyunwoo, smiling lopsidedly and forcing himself to relax his hold.  

“Yeah…” replies Kihyun with a tiny, fond smile that vanishes as soon as it appeared. “I think I’m burnt out.”

“You could’ve said so the morning we were leaving,” says Hyunwoo. Inwardly he cringes at how whiny he sounds — Kihyun doesn’t owe him an explanation at all.

“I know,” says Kihyun earnestly. “You looked so worried and I just panicked. I guess I didn’t want to worry you.”

“But I—”

 _But I want you to let me worry about you._  

Kihyun peers expectantly at him. “Hyung…?”

Hyunwoo swallows, shakes his head, and withdraws his hands. “No, nothing.”

“Oh.” Kihyun looks down again, disappointed and crestfallen. 

It’s an awful feeling to know he’s the one who put the dejection there on Kihyun’s face, and he wants so much to apologize for it — but doing so would only open a Pandora’s box of things he wants to keep hidden away. So instead, he lets the awkward silence wash over them. 

Suddenly, Kihyun takes up his guitar again. “Hey hyung, will you sing for me?”

“You want me to sing?” Hyunwoo asks. It’s a request Kihyun makes once in a blue moon, but it still takes him by surprise. 

Kihyun nods rapidly, a smile creeping across his lips as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Hyunwoo laughs. “I honestly don’t get why you want me to sing all the time.”

“I don’t need a reason,” says Kihyun stubbornly. “I just like your singing.” 

Hyunwoo knows he’s got a pleasant voice, but it’s hard to believe Kihyun’s words when he says things like ‘your voice is so beautiful’ and ‘you could be our main vocal if you’d just auditioned with the rest of us.’ In the end, he always chalks it up to Kihyun’s crush magnifying his small existing virtues, and humours the younger to keep that smile shining on his face. 

Kihyun snatches up the guitar pick he had wedged between the pages of his notebook. He gives his guitar a short, abrupt strum, then looks expectantly at Hyunwoo. “Well?”

“Fine, fine,” Hyunwoo says goodnaturedly. “Which song?”

Kihyun beams and begins picking out the bright notes of the opening riff. Hyunwoo chuckles in amusement when he recognizes the comforting tune. Despite the lingering worry that Kihyun’s not being completely frank with him, that there’s more being hidden from him, he still opens his mouth to sing. 

 _“Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo_  
_Here comes the sun, and I say_ _  
It’s alright…”_

— 

“Jjangkyunnie, what should we do for our unit stage?” Hoseok asks, tugging Changkyun to lie on top of his chest. 

“I dunno hyung, quit manhandling me,” Changkyun whines in protest. Nevertheless, he lets Hoseok pull him into a prone position, and even rests his chin on top of his crossed forearms so he can properly pout at Hoseok. 

“A cover?” Hoseok suggests. A cover would be fun; although he and Changkyun never take main vocal roles in their performances, they’ve both released solo covers that Monbebes loved and wanted more of. A performance with his sweet, honeyed vocals paired with Changkyun’s deep, moody tones would definitely be interesting to explore. And given the enthusiastic response to their interactions during the Tokyo concert, he secretly feels their unit stage might outshine the others’.   

Out of habit he strokes down the length of Changkyun’s spine before resting his hands on the small of his back. It takes every ounce of his self restraint to not squeeze Changkyun’s waist. “Or we could do an original song. Wonho and I.M.”

“Mmm,” Changkyun responds noncommittally, mesmerized eyes fixed to Hoseok’s. Their faces are so close together and Changkyun’s weight feels so intoxicating on top of him. How easy would it be to run his hand back up Changkyun’s back, tangle his fingers into his hair, and draw him in for a heated kiss?

But Hoseok huffs a quiet laugh and shifts Changkyun off so they can both sit up on the couch. Since that very enjoyable night in Tokyo a week ago, they’ve more or less gone back to their previous friendly relationship. In a small part that’s due to the busy nature of their schedule — returning from a tour abroad always means interviews and photoshoots, and endless sessions in the studio. 

There’s another, larger factor too. As much as Hoseok would enjoy indulging himself in Changkyun again, he can take a hint. The morning of their flight back to Seoul, Changkyun had left the hotel room early, an action Hoseok’s taken to mean that Changkyun isn’t interested in a repeat. Even though their interactions sometimes border on sexual now — a trailing gaze here, a lingering touch there — Hoseok keeps his distance. 

Well, relatively. He’s no angel, after all. 

Beside Hoseok, Changkyun crosses his legs on the couch and sifts his fingers through his hair, ruffling it to stand on end.

“I think a cover would be nice…” he says contemplatively. “To be honest, I’m completely out of ideas for an original song that would fit us.”

“We can figure it out later,” Hoseok replies, watching the strands of Changkyun’s hair flop back into place in amusement. 

Changkyun sends Hoseok a grateful smile and stands up, stretching his arms, catlike, to the ceiling. 

“Sounds good,” he says. Scowling lightly, he adds, “I’m gonna go wash my makeup off before it breaks me out.” 

“Alright,” Hoseok laughs. He watches Changkyun saunter down the hallway, then flops back to lie on the couch again to stew in his thoughts. 

For all that Hoseok was itching to return to Seoul, all he could feel during their flight home were the tendrils of his anxieties closing their hold over him again. Of course he could never outrun them now that he’s home. This city was, after all, where everything began, and where everything will inevitably end. 

Maybe it’s better that he and Changkyun didn’t start sleeping together after all, given his current messy state of mind, Hoseok muses. He’s had a good think about it, and he’s sure he only acted on his impulses because he was feeling bold overseas. Vacation mode indulgence, perhaps. It’s one thing to take the edge off his touch starvation, and another to shit where he eats. He and the maknae have a wonderful friendship and working relationship, and he would hate to ruin it with sex, even though he’d like to think their bond is made of stronger stuff. If anything, he’s glad that their romp did nothing to change their dynamic. He and Changkyun are still as close as ever; the only difference now is that he stares at the maknae’s ass a little more than usual.

He jumps up off the couch and makes his way back to his own room. The doors of the others’ rooms are all closed, but he can hear traces of their activities within. From Jooheon and Hyungwon’s shared room come sounds of conversation and random chords from Minhyuk’s guitar. Hoseok wonders if they’re discussing the unit stage too, and how they’re doing. Having his arms full of a squirmy Changkyun earlier wasn’t nearly enough to keep him from noticing Hyungwon and Minhyuk’s reactions to being pulled into a unit stage with Jooheon. To say they were less than enthused is an understatement.

Farther down the hallway, a rarer sound floats out from under Kihyun’s door: the sound of Hyunwoo singing. Hoseok pauses and leans against the wall. The smooth lilt of Hyunwoo’s voice weaves itself between the bright tones of Kihyun’s guitar into a clumsy, impromptu, but still beautiful cover of The Beatles’ _Here Comes The Sun._ Hoseok smiles when hears Kihyun softly singing the backing vocals. How different would it be if Hyunwoo had decided to audition with them? With Hyunwoo’s steadfast and humble personality, Hoseok has no doubt he would be the leader in his place. Perhaps things would feel less tenuous and uneasy right now if he were.  

The song comes to an end, and the silence is immediately filled with rapid applause — from Kihyun, no doubt. When Kihyun speaks his voice is muffled by the closed door, but there’s no mistaking the warmth and admiration that colour his words. Hyunwoo laughs shyly in return, and Hoseok knows that’s his cue to go. The two within deserve their privacy, and he has already breached it by eavesdropping on their singing. 

From one of the bathrooms comes the sound of a running faucet. The _hiss_ of water hitting the sink suddenly stops, uncovering the lovely sound of Changkyun humming. The tune he hums bounces off the tiled walls within; deep, dark, and comforting like a restful sleep. It’s joined by a quiet, electric buzz — the sound of Changkyun’s electric cleansing device — that tells Hoseok the maknae is still midway through his extensive skincare routine. It also reminds him to go wash off his own makeup lest his sensitive skin acts up. 

A little while later, when his face is fresh and clean and he’s changed back into his soft lounge clothes, he wanders to the kitchen to find something to eat — and receives the shock of his life when a fluffy head suddenly springs up from behind a cupboard door.

“Hyungwon, you cryptid!” Hoseok exclaims, clutching his chest. “Could you be any less creepy?”

“Hey hyung,” Hyungwon replies dully. He unfolds his body and stands up, a bag of chips in hand. With a foot he nudges the cupboard door closed then hops to sit on top of the counter. 

“What’s there to eat?” asks Hoseok, opening the fridge. 

“I saw some hummus in there somewhere,” says Hyungwon around a mouthful of chips. 

“Huh.” Hoseok pulls out the container and gives the contents a sniff. Deeming it good for consumption, he pulls out a bundle of celery, breaks off a couple stalks, and cuts them into finger-sized pieces after rinsing them. 

Hyungwon peers at his healthy snack and shakes his head. 

“More rabbit food,” he sighs. “You’re really living up to your animal persona.”

“You should live up to yours and eat some vegetables sometime, Turtle-Won,” Hoseok deadpans back. He dips a celery stick into the hummus and chews deliberately to make the noisiest crunching sounds he can.  

Hyungwon huffs an amused breath through his nostrils. “Pass me some of that then.”

Hoseok obliges and watches as Hyungwon dips one of his flimsy chips into the thick condiment. The moment he tries to scoop up some of the dip, the chip snaps with a sad cracking noise. Hyungwon stares glumly into the container and sighs. 

“I hate my life.” 

Hoseok pauses his obnoxious crunching to pat Hyungwon softly on the back, unsure if the statement is merely born of the overwhelming disappointment one feels at minor inconveniences, or something specific. Like unit stage discussions with his two exes-turned-bandmates. 

“You okay?” he asks gently.

“I’m a mess, hyung,” says Hyungwon, his voice strained. A years-old memory hits Hoseok out of nowhere. He’s heard these words before.

_“Jooheon and I broke up.”_

_“Why? You guys love each other.”_

_“I know, and it’s not fair to him.”_

_“But he loves you and you love him. What’s unfair about that?”_

_“I’m just — I’m a mess, hyung.”_

Hyungwon’s face is marred by the same troubled expression now as it was at that time, all those years ago. It pulls his eyebrows together and tenses his jaw.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” Hoseok ventures, setting his food down on the counter.

There’s a brief, pregnant pause before Hyungwon speaks.

“Was it a mistake?” he asks, suddenly turning to Hoseok with plaintive eyes. “Agreeing to the unit stage?”

Hoseok frowns uneasily. “Why?”

“You know that feeling when you want something really badly,” says Hyungwon, “but at the same time you’re terrified of it because you feel guilty for wanting it?”

Hoseok’s no stranger to that feeling; he’s known it many times over the course of their career. At the same time, realization begins to dawn over him. “Is this about Minhyuk and Jooheon?”

Hyungwon smiles wryly. “It’s always been about them. Especially lately. I don’t know why.”

Hoseok returns Hyungwon’s smile sadly, but guilt weighs on him. All this time he’d assumed the trio were well on their way to finding their paths back to each other. Of course things are rarely so simple.

“Maybe it’d be better if I let them do their own thing,” Hyungwon muses, looking into the distance. “Maybe Tiny won’t mind doing a duet with me.”

“What?” says Hoseok, shocked. “No! Jooheon asked specifically for you. Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m a coward? Because I still love both of them?” Hyungwon offers, his sardonic half-smile tugging at Hoseok’s heartstrings a little more with each word. “Because I’m so happy when I’m around them but I keep overthinking everything when I’m alone? Take your pick, hyung.”

Hoseok falls silent. 

“I don’t know what’s going on anymore,” Hyungwon stresses. “None of us ever _say_ anything about it. I don’t know why Minhyuk keeps pretending to be okay while hiding behind Kihyun, I don’t know how Jooheon feels about us, I just — don’t know.”

It’s a lot to take in. A host of questions and thoughts clamour at Hoseok’s mind, begging to be answered. What happened that night when Hyungwon and Jooheon were alone in the hot tub? What happened since then? 

And there was that moment back in the hotel room when Minhyuk and Hyungwon were showering. There was no mistaking the barely restrained jealousy that clouded Jooheon’s face and coloured his voice. There’s no way Jooheon is indifferent to Minhyuk and Hyungwon, just no way. 

But of course Hoseok can’t say that; it’s for Jooheon to say, not him. Instead he opens his arms, inviting Hyungwon in for a hug. Hyungwon smiles sadly and slips down from his perch atop the counter. He wraps his arms around Hoseok’s torso, squeezing tightly and resting his chin on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Thanks for listening, hyung,” he whispers. 

“Always,” Hoseok replies, hugging his friend back. There’s nothing he can do to make Hyungwon’s problems go away, but hopefully he can make them feel more bearable. 

A moment later, Hyungwon peels himself away. 

“I should go before Minhyuk convinces Jooheon we need to do a Nickelback or Smash Mouth cover,” he says, smiling quietly. “Good luck with your unit stage with Changkyunnie.”

Hoseok slaps Hyungwon encouragingly on the back, sending him back to his bedroom where Jooheon and Minhyuk are waiting. With a heavy, troubled heart, he watches him go, hoping that all will go well for the three of them. 

When he returns to his own bedroom, a different kind of surprise is waiting for him. Music fills the air the moment he pushes the door open, and Changkyun swivels around in his wheeled desk chair with an acoustic guitar in hand. 

 _“So if you’re lonely,”_ he half-yells, half-sings dramatically, strumming with childish vigour that brings a smile to Hoseok’s face. The lyrics that follow are a familiar shout from the past.  

 _“You know I’m here waiting for you_  
_I’m just a crosshair, I’m just a shot away from you_  
_And if you leave here, you leave me broken, shattered I lie_  
_I’m just a crosshair, I’m just a shot, then we can die_ _  
OooooOOOoohhh…”_

Hoseok laughs and joins in for the last line. _“I know I won’t be leaving here… with… you.”_

Changkyun finishes with a series of theatrical, staccato strums, bringing giggles rising from Hoseok’s chest. 

“I haven’t heard that song in years,” says Hoseok, feeling the weight of his conversation with Hyungwon lifting from his shoulders. 

“Well! It’s time to hear more songs because we need to choose one for our unit stage,” says Changkyun, his pretty lips curving into a smile. 

“Sounds good.” Hoseok picks up his own acoustic from its stand in the corner and sits down on his bed. “Any songs in mind?” 

Changkyun shakes his head. “Not a single one. Like I said, I’ve been completely blocked lately.” 

“That didn’t stop you just now,” Hoseok rejoinders. “Did you seriously learn the chords to _Take Me Out_ just to surprise me like that?”

“Maaaybe.” Changkyun shrugs cheekily. “Still easier than coming up with an original song.”

Hoseok hums in agreement, fiddling with the strings of his guitar. Changkyun sighs loudly and spins around in the chair. “Being in the biz is all fun and games until your creative juices run dry.”

“That would’ve been a nice memo to receive back when we were still doing covers in uni,” Hoseok jokes, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. Tiny motes of dust catch the sunlight as they drift through the air, making them look like points of light descending through the space. 

Changkyun continues spinning in the chair. Apropos of nothing, he asks, “What was the one song that made you want to learn guitar, hyung?” 

“Huh,” says Hoseok, taken by surprise. It’s certainly not the first time he and Changkyun talked about their beginnings, but the Changkyun’s whimsical question forces him to think back to over fifteen years ago.

“That _one song_ you were eager to learn how to play when you were just a beginner,” says Changkyun, ceasing his spinning to peer curiously at Hoseok. 

Hoseok chews his cheek in contemplation as he casts his mind back through the years. There were many fun songs like _Somebody Told Me_ and _Seven Nation Army_ that he’d enjoyed puzzling out, but the ones that spring to the forefront of his mind right now are the tender, heartfelt songs that carried him through his growing pains and heartaches.

 _“Falling Away With You,”_ he blurts, recalling the beautiful melody and the tender lyrics.  

Changkyun tilts his head. “By Muse? How does it go again?”

“Like this,” says Hoseok, running his fingers lightly over the strings of his guitar. He positions his guitar properly on his lap and begins picking out the delicate notes of the opening riff. Changkyun sets his guitar onto the bed and listens intently. 

He hasn’t played this song in years and years, but muscle memory guides his fingers to where they need to be. The lyrics come right to his lips, old and familiar like calling a lover’s name. 

 _“I can't remember when it was good_  
_Moments of happiness elude_  
_Maybe I just misunderstood_  
_All of the love we left behind_  
_Watching the flashbacks intertwine…”_  
  
As Hoseok sings, the lyrics well up inside him, bringing with them a rush of bittersweet nostalgia. The power of a well-written song on a soft heart like his, he supposes. From the chair, Changkyun is still listening raptly, so Hoseok sings to the end of the chorus.

 _“And I'll feel my world crumbling_  
_I'll feel my life crumbling_  
_I'll feel my soul crumbling away_  
_And falling away_ _  
Falling away with you…”_

Hoseok lets the notes peter out into silence, feeling the vibrations of the strings still under his calloused fingertips. Changkyun’s face is filled with wonder, his mouth open in a small ‘o’ of awe.

“That was beautiful,” he breathes. 

“Thanks, Kyun,” Hoseok replies. Setting his guitar aside, he laces his fingers together and stretches his arms. “Not really concert material, though.”

“Why not?” Changkyun asks. “Imagine it with a sea of Mondoongies. It’d be so amazing.”

A smile tugs at Hoseok’s lips at the image. But alas — “Not even Muse has performed that song live. It never came out right for them.”

Changkyun’s mouth falls open in surprise.

“Then it’d be wrong of us to do it,” he says simply. “Plus I don’t think it fits the vibe…”

“Oh?” Hoseok’s curiosity is piqued. Leaning forward, he asks, “What kind of vibe are you thinking?”

“Think about it, hyung,” says Changkyun pensively, wheeling the chair closer to Hoseok’s bed. “Kihyun-hyung’s probably going to do a ballad, or something acoustic. He likes that kind of music but he never gets to perform it.”

“Keep going.”

“And the other three are probably going to do a banger-type rock anthem,” finishes Changkyun. “What does that leave us?”

A song that’s not a ballad, but not a banger… When he realizes what Changkyun’s getting at, he can’t fight the smirk that grows on his face.

“A sexy concept,” says Hoseok, bringing a grin to Changkyun’s face. 

“It makes sense. They loved us in Tokyo,” Changkyun says in a rush. Dropping his voice lower, he adds, “And we’ve got the chemistry.”

Hoseok inhales sharply. Aside from occasional sultry gazes and touches, it’s the first time since their night together that the topic’s even been remotely broached. 

“That we do,” he says, staring transfixed as Changkyun’s lips curve into a mischievous smile.

Changkyun wheels back to the desk, retrieves his MacBook, then drops heavily onto the bed beside Hoseok. “Let’s do this.”

Despite Changkyun’s proximity and the affirmation of their intense attraction to each other, the work of choosing a song for their unit stage quickly washes any dirty thoughts from Hoseok’s mind. They plough exhaustively through playlist after playlist, vetoing song after song based on all sorts of criteria —

“How’s this?”

“Hmm… I’m not really feeling it.”

“Same. How about this one?”

“Hyung, no, that’s completely out of my range.”

“Kyun, you say everything’s out of your range.”

“I know. We all carry burdens and sadly mine is my deep, heavenly voice.”

“You brat. This one? Wait no, the frontman’s a sexist pig.”

“Yeah, fuck that… Oh wait, how about—”

“Oh my God. One time I threw my guts up outside the campus bar and I could hear that song playing.” 

“… I’m guessing that’s a no then.”

“It’s a no.”

Changkyun rakes his fingers through his hair, pouting petulantly. “Man, I almost wish I agreed to doing an original song. But then you’d probably say some chord progression reminds you of the time you peed yourself in kindergarten or something.”

Hoseok bursts into laughter, then scoffs with mock incredulity. “I _never_ peed myself in school. You come into my room, attacking my good character—”

“What’s that thing Shakespeare said about protesting too much?” Changkyun sniffs.  

“If we didn’t have literally ten million won of equipment on this bed I’d beat your ass,” Hoseok jokes, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows he’s misspoken.

Changkyun shoots a smirk at Hoseok, like he knows there’s something else Hoseok would rather do with his ass, right there on the bed. With a roll of his eyes, Changkyun reaches over and hits the _next_ button on the keyboard. The heavy, sultry bassline of the song that comes on interrupts the retort that’s sitting on the tip of Hoseok’s tongue. 

“Oh,” says Changkyun. 

“Oh,” agrees Hoseok. His fingers begin tapping to the beat on his thigh.

 _“The mirror’s image tells me it’s home time,”_ Alex Turner croons from within the speakers, _“but I’m not finished, ‘cause you’re not by my side…”_

“I think this might work,” says Changkyun. “It’s within both our ranges.”

“Yeah, and that bassline…” Hoseok mutters. The MacBook’s speakers aren’t the best quality, but he can already feel tingles on his skin as he imagines the song reverberating through his chest in the fancon venue.

Changkyun wordlessly hits _pause_ on the song and trots out of Hoseok’s room. Puzzled, Hoseok listens to his quick footsteps disappearing down the hall. A moment later, Changkyun returns with his bass guitar, a length of cord, and a small amp. 

“Plug in, hyung,” he directs, visibly excited. 

Hoseok grins, fetches his Stratocaster, and plugs it into the amp he has sitting in the corner. They set aside their acoustic guitars, and for the next few hours, sit mirroring each other, meticulously working out the tab and discussing the line distribution.  

Hoseok cannot deny the uneasiness that stirs in his chest when he thinks of the uncertain and ever-changing nature of the others’ relationships. But as Changkyun so wisely said, they’re all adults and can make their own decisions, but he can’t help but worry for their wellbeing — and, guiltily in the dark recesses of his mind, the wellbeing of the band. 

Hyunwoo and Kihyun are holed away in the latter’s room playing lovebirds. Elsewhere in the dorm, Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Jooheon are slicing themselves open on the webstrings of their tangled misunderstandings.

But inside the microcosm of his room, it’s comforting to watch the enthusiasm seep back into Changkyun’s face, brightening his handsome features. Hoseok can see it in the way Changkyun’s tongue sticks out in concentration while committing a chord progression to memory, the way he closes his eyes and smiles while Hoseok is playing, the way his whole face lights up when they joke around. It’s safe, and it’s familiar.

As the afternoon wears on, the last remnants of the anxious buzz of Hoseok’s pulse calms. Maybe things will be okay, he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 5 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Here Comes The Sun_ by The Beatles  
> \- _Last Nite_ by The Strokes (I've been bingeing their music lately, it's so good)  
> \- _Leave Before The Lights Come On_ by Arctic Monkeys  
> \- _Take Me Out_ by Franz Ferdinand  
> \- _Falling Away With You_ by Muse (literally my fave song in the world)  
> \- _Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High_ by Arctic Monkeys
> 
> hi everyone it's been a hot minute but i'm back (finally)! for some reason this chapter just didn't wanna write itself and so i had to do it. shocking, right?? this ch felt like pulling teeth for some reason (i say that about every ch) and i'm still not sure how i feel about it but better late than never QQ truly thank you for reading PMT everyone i really appreciate you guys
> 
> anyways everyone pls stay hydrated, esp if you're being affected by the heat wave right now! if you're lucky enough to see mx, i hope you had/will have a good time <3
> 
> come yell at me i'm bluem00nrabbit on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit). pls i promise i don't bite. also check out the [fic playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)! i add songs to it with every update (soz it's so long this ch i went ham).
> 
> PS - sorry not sorry @ smash mouth and nickelback. it's nothing personal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content.

“… I mean, I like it but it’s a bit…”

“… been discussing this for over half a week…”

“… guys, can we talk about this tomorrow…”

Hoseok opens his eyes and stares up at the shadow-dark ceiling, internally cursing whomever turned the hallway light on. Its beams cut through the narrow crack under his door, slicing through the darkness and throwing a band of light onto the wall. 

Under the muffled racket of his bandmates’ discussion outside in the hallway lies a quieter symphony of sounds. Outside his window, open to lure in the cool night air, come the noises of the city — vehicles and trains in the distance, pedestrians’ voices on the sidewalk below. From elsewhere in the dorm he hears evidence of the others’ activities. Faucets turning off and on, doors opening and closing. Beneath it all, the rhythmic, barely audible sound of his own breathing as he tries to lull himself to sleep. 

Tired yet buzzing with energy, he blinks his eyes and wonders if he’s dumb for trying to sleep at eleven. 

No, not dumb, he decides. Being in between concerts, their schedule is particularly unstructured at the moment, and Hoseok knows himself well enough to understand that he needs to adhere to a schedule or risk wrecking his sleep cycle. A tall order, especially in a dorm full of night owls. Outside in the hallway, the trio continue their discussion, obliviously foiling Hoseok’s attempts at sleeping.

There is a light tap on his bedroom door before it opens part way, allowing a slight figure to slip quietly in. Hoseok opens his mouth to whine at whomever it is, but his visitor quickly closes the door before silently padding across the room. They peel back Hoseok’s covers and slot themselves right up against him in his twin-sized. Immediately Changkyun’s familiar scent envelops him, mollifying his irritable nerves.

“Kyun?” he murmurs. “What’s up?”

Changkyun’s intrusion into his bed should take him by surprise, but it doesn’t. Since Changkyun’s veiled reference to their night in Tokyo, Hoseok’s given up on maintaining distance. To absolutely no-one’s surprise, they’ve returned to their habitual clinginess.

The night isn’t cold at all, but Changkyun lies belly-down to snake an arm over Hoseok’s waist, bringing their bare skin into contact. By instinct, Hoseok places his hands on Changkyun’s back, running his hands gently up and down. Changkyun’s head blocks the light from outside from hitting his eyes, bringing a small but welcome relief.

“Tryna sleep but they keep arguing outside my room,” Changkyun grumbles against his neck. “Don’t get why they can’t do that in Hyungwon ’n’ Jooheon’s.”

Hoseok chuckles in response and pats Changkyun’s hair, sifting his fingers through the strands to soothe away the younger’s grumpiness.

“So your solution was to squish yourself into my bed?” he asks, amused. Changkyun shifts off his chest and begins pushing at his shoulder, urging him to turn around. Hoseok acquiesces, and immediately Changkyun moves in to spoon him.

“Your room’s farthest from their noise,” says Changkyun. His lips brush against Hoseok’s neck as he speaks, sending tiny tingles dancing along Hoseok’s skin. Slipping an arm over Hoseok’s waist, he wiggles his way to a more comfortable position. 

The familiarity of the touch and their state of undress send Hoseok’s mind right back to their nights in Japan. Having Changkyun pressed against his back — hips against his butt — is equal parts arousing and comforting, and he thinks the scale could easily be tipped either way — but he’s strangely content to just be held. Suddenly the trio’s discussion out in the hallway doesn’t seem so loud.

“Sleep here tonight,” Hoseok mumbles. His eyelids are growing heavier as Changkyun’s body relaxes against his. “Just don’t steal the blankets.”

A hand sneaks down and squeezes Hoseok’s ass.

“You’re the blanket-stealer, not me,” Changkyun replies teasingly, lips still brushing against the column of Hoseok’s neck. His hand retreats back to rest on Hoseok’s abdomen.

Hoseok huffs a silent laugh and wiggles his butt teasingly in response. Sure, it’s sexual, but no more than Changkyun unabashedly resting his hips right against Hoseok’s butt. 

Changkyun must be growing sleepy too, for he doesn’t retaliate like Hoseok expects him to. Instead, he shifts against Hoseok with a drowsy chuckle, sounding pleased to be wrapped around him like this. 

If sleep weren’t threatening to overtake Hoseok’s senses, maybe he’d push the boundaries a little bit and try to see if he read Changkyun wrong about not being interested in a repeat of Tokyo. Judging by the way Changkyun boldly lets his hand wander all over Hoseok’s waist, he must have. Maybe he could turn around, pull Changkyun on top of him again and take it a step further… but for now, the sensual drag of warm skin on warm skin just feels… so… nice…

—

As soon as Hoseok wakes, discovers two things. The first is Changkyun still curled around his back, soft and heavy with sleep. When Hoseok shifts, Changkyun lets out a disgruntled groan, so he carefully turns onto his back, opting to watch the subtly shifting light pass over his ceiling and walls while waiting for the younger to come to. 

The second thing he discovers is that the trio seem to have made good on their agreement (if it can even be called that) to continue their discussion in the morning. As wakefulness sharpens Hoseok’s senses, he can hear Jooheon’s whine amidst the cheerful din of breakfast being made. 

Changkyun groans again, this time a little more loudly. Hoseok turns to watch him slowly blinking his eyes open to peer drowsily around the room, not moving an inch otherwise. Finally Changkyun’s gaze lands on him. 

“Noisy,” he croaks.

“They woke me up too,” says Hoseok. “Sleep well?” 

“Yeah,” Changkyun replies, voice low and raspy from disuse. “I went out like a light. Thanks for letting me sleep here, hyung.”

“Come by anytime,” says Hoseok, sitting up. Despite the teasing tone he infuses into his voice, he finds that he won’t mind terribly if Changkyun takes him up on the offer. 

Changkyun sits up too, covers slipping off his chest to reveal the array of his black tattoos. An uppercase serif B below his collarbone, for Boston. The row of seven X’s on his ribs, for their band and manager. Random geometric shapes and lines intersecting here and there, with no meaning in particular. Hoseok vividly remembers dragging his tongue along them and tasting the salt of Changkyun’s skin during their last night in Tokyo. Idly he wonders if he’ll get to do so again. 

“Is that an invitation?” Changkyun asks playfully. 

“Take it or leave it,” Hoseok jokes, lightly pushing Changkyun’s shoulder. Feeling Changkyun’s gaze on his back, he slips out of bed and crosses over to his drawer, fishing out clothes for them both to wear. A tank top and shorts for himself, and the same for Changkyun. The maknae’s eyes are amused and knowing when he tosses over the same tank top he “borrowed” in Tokyo. 

For the first time in what seems like forever, the kitchen plays hosts to a cheerful jumble of sounds and delicious smells. The peppy tune of IU’s _Good Day_ brightens the air from within, accompanied by the clatter of cooking and Kihyun and Minhyuk’s singing. Hoseok and Changkyun pause in their footsteps, bracing themselves for their attempt at the legendary high note — but surprisingly both pull it off well. The moment they seat themselves at the dining table, Kihyun and Minhyuk emerge with skillets of breakfast fry-up and plates piled high with toast and pancakes. The padded feet of the dining chairs clunk dully against the hardwood as they pull their seats out to sit. 

Jooheon’s pout is at full power, drawing a sympathetic coo from Changkyun. 

“What’s got you so grumpy this early in the day?” he asks, cupping Jooheon’s cheeks with both hands.

“Ask them,” replies Jooheon, jerking his chin at Hyungwon and Minhyuk. 

“I suggested Radiohead’s _Creep_ for our unit stage,” says Minhyuk, waving a piece of toast flippantly. “Hyungwon thinks it’s a good idea, but Jooheon doesn’t.”

Kihyun tilts his head in contemplation, cheeks bulging as he chews. _“Creep_ is a good song that many people will know.”

Beside him, Hyunwoo hums in agreement while piling his plate with food.

But Hoseok pauses. Given his conversation with Hyungwon a few days prior, he knows Radiohead’s _Creep_ must hold some kind of significance for him with its lonely and anguished lyrics. He casts a questioning look at his friend, who tosses him a shrug and a humourless smile in return.

“Oooh! Hyungwonnie-hyung, are you singing?” Changkyun asks, dropping his hands from Jooheon’s face.

“Yup.”

“It suits your voice!” says Changkyun. Turning to Hoseok, he adds, “Doesn’t it, hyung?”

Hoseok nods uneasily. As Changkyun continues to muse on the pros of the trio performing _Creep,_ Hoseok thinks he can kind of understand why Jooheon doesn’t want to. If for Hyungwon the song is a way for him to subtly get his feelings out, then for Jooheon it must be an uncomfortable reminder of the situation they’re in.

Hoseok drinks his coffee, watching Jooheon’s face become incrementally more upset with the progression of the discussion. Taking pity on him, Hoseok decides to intervene by shoving a forkful of bacon into Changkyun’s mouth. Jooheon sags slightly in relief and shoots a grateful (albeit confused) smile at him. 

“What’s everyone doing today?” Hoseok asks conversationally. 

“Visiting my parents. It’s my dad’s birthday today,” Hyunwoo pipes, drawing a chorus of _aww_ ’s in response.

“Who knows what I’m doin’,” Minhyuk drawls, sipping lazily on his coffee. He’s got one foot propped up on the seat of his chair, his tattooed knee peeking above the level of the table. 

Frowning at Minhyuk’s posture, Kihyun says, “I’m meeting with one of the producers to discuss the arrangement for my stage.”

“You’ve got three in-house producers!” Jooheon exclaims. “Why do you need to meet the Starship ones?”

Kihyun smiles sheepishly at Jooheon. “Hoseok-hyung and Changkyunnie have their own stage to work on now, and you still need to choose a song.”

“We’ll discuss the song later, okay jagi? I promise we’ll hear you out,” says Hyungwon, patting Jooheon’s shoulder. 

“… Fine,” Jooheon relents. Although Minhyuk nods in agreement with Hyungwon, his eyes are unreadable as they travel between the two of them. 

Changkyun finally swallows the mouthful of bacon and grumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like “always shoving things into people’s mouths…” 

Hoseok’s lips twitch in amusement, but he doesn’t comment. There isn’t a single incident in recent history where he shoved anything, food or otherwise, into Changkyun’s mouth and they both know it. 

“What are you doing today, maknae?” he asks. They agreed to work on their unit stage together in the evening, leaving the morning and afternoon open.  

“Errands,” Changkyun answers. He takes another bite, then sighs, “I have an appointment at the bank. Then I have to deliver Byeongkwannie’s birthday present.”

“Byeongkwannie? A.C.E Byeongkwan?” asks Kihyun; Changkyun hums in confirmation. “His birthday already passed.”

Changkyun lets out a piteous moan and hides his face in his hands. “I knoww. And we weren’t even busy at the time.”

Hoseok pats Changkyun on the back. It’s heartwarming to see Changkyun put so much thought and care into his friendships outside of their group. 

“Better late than never,” he encourages. “I bet Byeongkwan-ssi won’t mind.”

“Probably not. But I feel so awful,” Changkyun whimpers. “How am I gonna look him in the face?”

“Silly,” says Hoseok. “Want me to come with you? I have to pick up some stuff anyway.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Changkyun mumbles gratefully.

It feels like a lazy day, so after breakfast Hoseok swaps his shorts for grey sweatpants and throws on a light athletic jacket. He won’t have to meet with anyone nor make a good impression, so he feels okay with dressing down. Changkyun meets him in the hallway adjoining the bedrooms, dressed in a crisp, short-sleeved button down and navy blue shorts.

“Let’s go,” he says, scratching at his neck. His other hand is clutching a paper gift bag.

“Not yet,” says Hoseok. He does up one more button on Changkyun’s shirt, tucking away the black border of a tattoo that was peeking out. His fingers brush against Changkyun’s soft skin as he traces them over the silver chain of the younger’s necklace to move the clasp to the back. A tiny amused smile grows on Changkyun’s lips as Hoseok takes his sweet time tweaking his appearance. 

“Déjà vu,” Changkyun remarks, eyes dancing with mischief.

Hoseok chuckles, remembering having to conceal the bruises on Changkyun’s neck in Tokyo. Said bruises, and the bite mark on his own neck, are faded to the palest yellow now, almost invisible unless closely scrutinized — but Changkyun’s sly smirk lingers in the silence. 

“All done.” When Hoseok takes his hands away, Changkyun huffs quietly, half in amusement and half in frustration. 

 _Same,_ Hoseok thinks wryly. Part of him wants to push Changkyun back into his bedroom, onto his bed, and unbutton that baby blue shirt. _If only._

It’s now September (marching ever so steadily to the date of their fancon, as Hoseok’s mind won’t let him forget) but Seoul is blessed with a partially overcast day that relieves the air of lingering remnants of the summer heat. After shouting goodbye to the others, Changkyun guides him out the door with a hand on the small of his back. They descend to the street below their building.

“Where’s A.C.E’s dorm?” Hoseok asks, following Changkyun’s lead. 

“Not too far, actually,” says Changkyun, swinging the gift bag from his hand. “Only a fifteen, twenty-minute walk from here.”

Hoseok tilts his head and does the mental math. “That’s kind of far from their company.”

“Yeah! A whole twenty kilometres!” Changkyun laughs. “Not too bad by bus or car, but apparently Sehyoon-ssi bikes there for exercise.”

Hoseok whistles lowly, recalling A.C.E’s main dancer’s sculpted thighs that can rival his own. 

They continue walking in silence, admiring the fair weather. A few minutes later, Changkyun speaks.

“During breakfast…” he begins pensively.

“Hmm?”

“You stopped me from—” Changkyun furrows his brow and gestures vaguely “—going on about _Creep.”_

Hoseok sticks his hands into his pockets and frowns. He knows what the song means from Hyungwon’s perspective, but can only guess at Jooheon’s. “I think that song… hits a nerve for Jooheon.” 

“I noticed after I shut up that he was kind of upset,” says Changkyun, his voice laced with disappointment, perhaps in himself. “It’s weird not knowing what’s going on in his mind.” 

The sound of their soles hitting the pavement are all that fill the silence between them for a few moments. Hoseok smiles half-heartedly and pats Changkyun on the back. Wasn’t he just in the same situation several days ago with Hyungwon? He can imagine how bad Changkyun feels for not reading his best friend right. 

“I wish he’d tell me,” Changkyun finishes. 

“I feel like he’s still figuring it out himself,” says Hoseok. “I know, Kyun. I thought they were doing fine but I was wrong.”

 _“Love,”_ Changkyun mutters. 

His tone of disbelief, bordering on childish disgust, brings a laugh bubbling up Hoseok’s chest. “Don’t you ever think about love and relationships?”

Changkyun blinks, nonplussed. “Of course. We write and sing about love all the time.”

“No no,” Hoseok clarifies. “I mean for yourself.”

“Oh, then no,” says Changkyun bluntly. “Love is pretty low on my hierarchy of needs.”

Hoseok smiles, nodding in understanding. He can’t say he can relate, but he finds Changkyun’s response hardly surprising, considering the way the maknae tends to become hyper-focused on his goals with little attention for anything else. 

“I do think about sex, though,” Changkyun adds casually. His eyes turn to Hoseok, perfectly impassive.

But Hoseok knows what it means. It’s an invitation phrased so mildly that he could back out if he wanted to. It brings tendrils of lust swirling in his belly, and the growing conviction that a repeat of Tokyo wouldn’t be unwelcome.

Hoseok sucks in a breath. “Yeah?”

Satisfaction floods Changkyun’s eyes. “Yeah.”

Hoseok really wishes he caved to his earlier urge of pushing Changkyun into his bedroom. Maybe if he had, they’d be entwined and sweaty in his sheets right now instead of locked in each other’s gazes on a sparsely crowded sidewalk in Banpo-dong. 

Changkyun then stops in his footsteps and turns his eyes to the apartment building on their right. “We’re here.”

He walks up to the screen and keypad beside the glass door of the lobby and punches in the door code. A moment later, a staticky voice filters through the speaker.

“Hello?”

“Delivery for Kim Byeongkwan from Im Changkyun,” Changkyun intones.

A laugh. “Come on up, Changkyun-ah.”

A click and a rapid beeping tells them the door is unlocked. Conditioned air greets them and cools their skin when they step into the lobby. A short ride on the elevator takes them to the fifth floor, where Changkyun presses the doorbell of one of the units and waits.

Slippered feet slap against the hardwood floors, and the door opens to reveal— 

“Ah, Sehyoon-ssi!” says Changkyun. 

Kim Sehyoon’s blank face breaks into a grin bright enough to match his unstyled, bleach blond hair. He leans his broad frame against the door jamb and smiles at Changkyun.

“How many times do I have to ask you to call me hyung?” he teases. His voice matches his calm demeanour. “Hello, Hoseok-ssi.”

“Hi, Sehyoon-ssi,” says Hoseok, returning the polite smile the former offers him. 

“Hyung, I brought Byeongkwannie’s birthday present,” says Changkyun, holding up the paper bag. “Is he home?”

Sehyoon shakes his head. “He’s working with the choreographer today.” 

“Oh nooo,” Changkyun groans. “I already forgot his birthday.”

A mix of amusement and regret washes over Sehyoon’s features. “I can pass your present on to him.”

Changkyun smiles glumly and hands Sehyoon the bag. “Thank you. I’d really appreciate it.”

“Hey! Is that Changkyunnie-hyung?” someone calls from within. A youthful face pops over Sehyoon’s shoulder, jaw dropping in awe. “Oh my God. It’s Wonho-ssi too.”

Hearing A.C.E’s maknae call Changkyun “hyung” takes Hoseok by surprise, although that’s a bit silly when he thinks about it. If he’s not mistaken, Changkyun is nearly two years older than Yuchan, and actually very mature— 

“Hahahahahahaaaaa!” Changkyun wheezes, slapping weakly at Hoseok’s arm and beating Hoseok’s previous thoughts right out of his head. “Yuchan-ah, you have no clue what a loser—”

“Alright, alright,” Hoseok laughs, locking Changkyun in a gentle chokehold. Yuchan gapes in mild terror. 

Sehyoon’s eyes crinkle with mirth. “Do you guys wanna come in? Byeongkwannie should be home in a couple hours.”

“Thank you hyung, but we still have other errands to run,” says Changkyun, straightening up from Hoseok’s grip. 

“Maybe another time then,” Sehyoon smiles. 

“Play Maplestory with me soon, hyung!” says Yuchan.

Hoseok waits patiently as Changkyun bids his friends goodbye. Finally when the A.C.E’s front door closes, he turns to Changkyun. 

“Changkyunnie-hyung,” he singsongs. 

Changkyun is silent as he presses the button for the elevator, but Hoseok can see the little smile he’s trying to fight. 

“How does it feel to be called hyung?” he asks, poking Changkyun’s cheek. It twitches, and a dimple forms right under Hoseok’s finger. 

“Honestly? Super weird,” says Changkyun. The doors slide open with a dull _clunk,_ and they step inside. “But not as weird when they called us sunbaenimdeul.” 

Hoseok smiles, recalling the friendliness and respect A.C.E showed them during an overlapping promotional period. “Yuchan’s a cute kid.”

“Is that what you like?” Changkyun laments. “Maknaes that look and act like maknaes?”

“I never said that!” Hoseok laughs. 

“I'm so unappreciated,” Changkyun fake-sniffs. “I’m running away from home.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to keep it a secret if you’re planning on running away,” says Hoseok, pinching both Changkyun’s cheeks between his fingers. “Besides, where will you even go?”

“I’ll fly to the States and live my best life,” Changkyun jokes, wincing lightly at Hoseok’s ministrations. “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll!”

“No drugs!” Hoseok berates. 

Changkyun’s grin melts into a little smirk. “And the other two?”

_Ah. There it is again._

“I’m sure you can find them here,” Hoseok replies, letting his voice dip low.

The smirk slips off Changkyun’s lips, and his eyes haze over as they dart from Hoseok’s eyes to his lips. A quick glance around the elevator is enough to tell Hoseok they’re not being watched by surveillance. Unable to help himself, he moves closer to Changkyun, drawn to him like a magnet to steel. Changkyun’s eyelids close ever so slightly as he tilts his face up to Hoseok’s.

A quiet _ding!_ breaks their trance and announces their arrival in the lobby. 

Changkyun stares at him for a moment, then huffs in amusement. “Smooth.”

— 

The rest of the afternoon is spent on one of the better-stocked shopping streets near their neighbourhood, close enough to not warrant taking the bus. They eat lunch together, then Changkyun tells Hoseok that his bank appointment will run rather long so they should split up and do their own thing. After watching Changkyun and his financial advisor disappear into the cool inner offices of the bank, Hoseok checks the shopping list he’s written up on his phone (to prevent impulse buying), then steels himself to face the formidable salespeople at Tony Moly. 

Hoseok doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve the small blessing of the streets not being crowded with tourists and shoppers, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Miraculously, he’s even able to stock up on his toner, moisturizer, and assorted skincare tidbits without being pressured into buying things he doesn’t need. With his paper bag of purchases in hand and nothing more to do until Changkyun’s done, he steps back out onto the street, resolving to find a Starbucks and get his iced Americano fix.  

But his plans are interrupted by a notification buzzing in his pocket. He fishes it out of his back pocket and rolls his eyes when he sees the text message.  

> **Kihyun**  
>  Mind picking up some ibuprofen while you’re out?

Typical of Kihyun to milk his outing for what it’s worth without so much as a “please.” Nonetheless, Hoseok replies that _no, he wouldn’t mind,_ and changes directions to find a drugstore. 

The automatic doors of the first one he finds chime with a tinny _beep_ when he enters. Taking his time, he meanders up and down the linoleum-lined aisles. He peruses the candy (perhaps he sweeps a box or two of Ferrero Rocher into his basket) and walks past the snacks before he finds the over-the-counter medicine aisle. Having stocked up on painkillers, Hoseok makes his way to the cashier — but not before he happens on the prophylactics. 

Hoseok pauses and stares at the boxes of condoms and lube stacked on the shelves. Their lurid packaging calls to him, reminding him of the pleasure he and Changkyun denied themselves in Tokyo in the absence of protection. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he mulls over his choices. 

It should be a no-brainer, really. If Changkyun is interested in no-strings-attached sex, then they’d have all they need to get down and dirty as they like. If Changkyun changes his mind, then Hoseok could just stash the supplies in his sock drawer, never again to see the light of day, or pass them on to the other members for the inevitability that _they_ finally get together. Sure, wasting things is bad, and looking his bandmates in the eye while handing them condoms and lube that he never got to use because he misread his _other_ bandmate’s signals would be awkward as fuck. But given how Changkyun’s been responding to him…

Rolling his eyes at his own indecision, Hoseok scans the shelves for his favourite brands. If Kyun doesn’t like them, he can buy his own. He finds the ones he remembers enjoying and adds them to his basket. Thanking the powers that be that the cashier is a middle-aged man who probably has zero interest in idol gossip, he pays for his items and shoves them all into his Tony Moly bag along with his skincare products. The automatic door chimes again as he leaves. 

— 

After the second run-through of the tab for _Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?,_ Hoseok sets his guitar down. Changkyun continues swivelling from side to side in his chair, just as bored and lacklustre as he was during their practice.

After returning home from shopping, they both went their separate ways to do their own thing until dinner. For Changkyun, that meant flopping onto his bed and calling Byeongkwan to wish him a happy belated birthday. For Hoseok, it meant restocking their medicine with ibuprofen and putting his own purchases away. Skincare in the drawer in the bathroom he shares with Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Condoms and lube in his nightstand. 

Hoseok and Changkyun are now cozily ensconced in Changkyun’s studio, rehearsing for their unit stage. Despite the space being solely for Changkyun’s use, Hoseok no longer feels weird about making himself at home there. The reverse is true too for Changkyun in his studio, to the point where it’s become a running joke with the other members that they should just combine spaces to save on rent.

Four years writing songs together for the band would do that, Hoseok supposes. And all the things they’ve snuck into each other’s spaces or stocked up for each other, from Hoseok’s canned coffee in Changkyun’s minifridge to Changkyun’s favourite room diffuser sitting atop Hoseok’s desk. 

Changkyun keeps spinning around and around, this time letting the cord that connects his bass to the amp wrap around his legs. Finally Hoseok grabs the back of his chair and spins him the other way, untangling the cord. 

“What’s going on with you?” he asks, amused. 

Changkyun slumps back in the chair and groans.

Hoseok shucks a shoe off and pokes Changkyun’s thigh with his toes. 

“It just feels so _off,”_ Changkyun whines, kicking his feet. “And kind of boring, to be honest.”

“How so?” Hoseok asks, mildly surprised. “We’ve never done a unit stage before.” 

“That’s just it, though.” Changkyun fixes Hoseok with an earnest look. “It should be fun and challenging, but it just feels the same as everything else we do.” 

Hoseok leans back, ruminating over Changkyun’s admission. Since returning from Japan, Changkyun’s been very open about his creative block and consequent struggles in writing new music. Hoseok understands how important it is for Changkyun to feel creatively challenged, to replenish his energy for composing. Doing the same routine thing definitely won’t be any help. 

“Maybe it’ll click when we practice singing while we play,” he offers. “You usually only rap or do backing vocals in our songs.”

“Maybe,” Changkyun says dubiously. “You’re probably right.”

Hoseok smiles. “Let’s try that?”

“Okay,” says Changkyun. He straightens up and returns Hoseok’s grin with a tiny smile. 

Hoseok restarts the backing track, and Changkyun begins playing, this time with a touch more effort than the last two runs. Having already memorized the tab, Hoseok keeps an eye on the younger, watching his expression as he gets ready to sing. 

On the afternoon that they settled on _Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?,_ they decided to give Changkyun all the verses while Hoseok sang the chorus. Listening to Changkyun’s deep croon as he sings through the first verse now, Hoseok can’t help but think it’s one of their finer decisions, because Changkyun’s able to deliver on everything the song demands. He’s young, but out of Monsta X he’s arguably the least shy about showing a more mature, sexier side. Hoseok used to think it’s due to his American upbringing, but now he sees it’s due to his lack of reservation when it comes to pursuing what he wants. 

 _Like in Tokyo,_ he thinks, recalling Changkyun’s forwardness. 

Hoseok sings the chorus while Changkyun provides backing vocals; a hint of bass to lend substance to his own falsetto. As he’s playing, he can see what Changkyun means about it feeling boring now. Singing with Changkyun is only a small novelty in comparison to the monotony of — something. Maybe the song is too simple. Maybe they’re missing the glitz of the spotlight to tie everything together. He just knows it could be _more,_ although more of what, he can’t tell. 

As soon as the last note fades, Changkyun lets out a frustrated yell and kicks his feet childishly. 

“I hate it I hate it I hate it,” he whines. 

“Yeah, I kinda hate it too,” admits Hoseok, unable to deny it any longer. He can't help but feel disappointed. The song had so much promise and he'd be loathe to scrap it, but if they can't make it work…

“It’s a good song and we’ll make all the panties drop,” says Changkyun, slumping back in his chair to stare morosely at the ceiling, “but I’ll scream if I have to play that riff ever again.”

“That’s a bit extreme,” Hoseok chuckles.

“No, hyung, I’ll literally scream. For like eight years,” says Changkyun seriously. “Did you know screaming for eight years straight produces enough energy to heat up a cup of coffee?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Give me your bass.”

“O-okay?” Changkyun turns to Hoseok, wide-eyed, but nonetheless makes to hand his black Starcaster to Hoseok. “Why?”

“I’ll play your part since you hate it, and you can play mine,” says Hoseok jokingly, handing his own guitar to Changkyun in return. Dumbfounded, Changkyun looks from his face to the instrument now in his hands, then back. 

“You’d do that?” Changkyun asks, awed. 

Hoseok blinks. Actually — he would. The revelation takes him by surprise.

“Yeah,” says Hoseok. He doesn’t know how the idea struck him, but with each second that passes, the conviction that it’s pure genius grows. “You already know how to play. And we’ve got enough time for me to learn how to play bass. It can’t be that hard.”

Changkyun nods slowly. Hoseok can tell he’s slowly becoming convinced too.

“So teach me,” Hoseok urges. He positions the bass properly in his lap, fingers over the strings. “C’mon, it’ll be so good.”

Changkyun glances down at the guitar in Hoseok’s hands. “I’m left-handed.”

“W-what?”

“You’re holding it upside down,” says Changkyun. A teasing smile grows on his lips.

“I—” Hoseok looks down. Indeed, the thickest string is on the bottom, rather than the top where it should be. “Huh.”

He looks back up at Changkyun, who bursts into peals of laughter. He can’t help but join in, infected by the return of the younger’s joy. They laugh until tears leak out of Hoseok’s eyes and his sides are in stitches. 

“Clearly I have a ways to go,” he wheezes. 

“Clearly,” Changkyun agrees, doubled over with mirth. Finally he gathers several deep breaths to compose himself. “We’re going to have to find you a right-handed bass, hyung.”

“Great,” Hoseok laughs. “You wouldn’t happen to have one lying around, would you?”

“Actually,” says Changkyun, “I do. Right there. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.”

Hoseok follows Changkyun’s gaze to the row of guitars hanging on the wall. He vaguely knows that they’re all guitars the younger hasn’t played in a long time. Casting his eye along the wall he recognizes one of them as the simple white electric guitar Changkyun occasionally played back in university. Changkyun kicks off his shoes and stands on the sofa to lower another one from its mount on the wall. This one, a black bass guitar — well, Hoseok had never looked at it closely, and now he sees the pickguard is on the right-hand side of the body, unlike the other ones. 

Hoseok sits down on the sofa, subconsciously reaching for the soft cushion as he watches Changkyun rummage in his desk drawers for spare guitar strings. While Changkyun strings and tunes the guitar for him, he checks his unread messages from the band’s group chat.  

> **JOO100**  
>  The house is so quiet, where is everyone?
> 
> **Starbucks King**  
>  out for walk at river
> 
> **미녀쿠**  
>  i know wonkyun went out to practice
> 
> **JOO100**  
>  Their ship name? Really?
> 
> **미녀쿠** ****  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
>  easier than typing hoseok and changkyun
> 
> **Hamki**  
>  What about Hyunwoo-hyung?
> 
> **Starbucks King**  
>  drinks  
>  w bm + yr
> 
> **Hamki**  
>  Ah

Hoseok rolls his eyes at Minhyuk’s use of their ship name to refer to them, and at Hyungwon’s lazy abbreviation of Bomi and Yeoreum’s names. He begins tapping out a response to let the members know they’ll be home in a couple of hours, but Changkyun interrupts him. He sets his phone down.

“Here,” says Changkyun, holding out the newly strung bass. Sitting cross-legged across from Hoseok, he happily jokes, “We’re like a mirror.”

And they are. Changkyun’s got his own black bass, the one he performs with, with the neck in his right hand. Hoseok’s holding the neck of his borrowed bass in his left. It reminds him of learning dance choreographies from mirrored videos back when he used to be a member of their university’s dance team. 

“It’ll be easier for you to teach me this way,” he says. 

Changkyun beams. “Right?” 

He sets down his own guitar and reaches over to move the fingers of Hoseok’s right hand over each string, from the thickest one on top to the thinnest one on the bottom. “This is E, A, D, and G.”

Hoseok nods. Changkyun’s eyes suddenly widen, and he searches his pockets for something. 

“You’ll want this,” he says, pressing a pick into Hoseok’s palm. It’s heavier and wider than the ones he uses. 

“I can’t play with my fingers?” Hoseok asks curiously, holding the piece of plastic up to the light. It’s one of the custom ones they had made that they toss into the audience at the end of their concerts.

“You can try,” Changkyun scoffs. “But you’ll wreck your little fingertips.”

Hoseok pouts. Changkyun relents with a fond, huffed laugh. 

“Here,” he says, then takes his left hand and positions his fingers over the frets. They’re spaced further apart than Hoseok’s used to. “We’ll start off with a warmup, since you won’t be used to the frets and the strings.”

Taking up his own guitar again, Changkyun begins playing notes on adjacent frets along each string. He pauses, giving time for Hoseok to copy him. 

“This isn’t too bad,” Hoseok remarks happily.

“That’s the spirit,” says Changkyun indulgently. “Keep it up, even when your hand starts cramping.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes and they continue the warmup, with Changkyun taking him through scales when Hoseok feels more accustomed to the hold. Finally when Changkyun deems him ready, they start on the tab for the actual song itself.

They work face-to-face like this for the next hour, with Changkyun patiently leading Hoseok through the notes. As Hoseok gets the hang of it, he finds it’s not that much different from playing lead guitar. His confidence grows after they get through the song once, and after the second run, he’s convinced their unit stage will be the most talked about one from their fancon. On the third run, Changkyun takes his old white electric guitar from the wall, strings and tunes it, and begins working through the tab for Hoseok’s former part.

At the end of the hour, Hoseok’s hands are ready to quit. 

“How the hell do you do this?” Hoseok whines, setting his bass down to shake out his cramping left hand. The fingertips of his both hands are burning from the exertion of manipulating the heavy strings, which took much more effort than the thinner ones of Hoseok’s guitar.

“Told you you’d want the pick,” says Changkyun, laughing not unkindly. “Feel how thick my calluses are.”

He extends his hands, and Hoseok turns them palms up to examine the thickened skin on the tips of Changkyun’s fingers. He remembers how they coarse they felt trailing on his skin, but never had the chance to look at them closely. Touching his sore fingertips over Changkyun’s toughened ones, he says, “No wonder you could do this all day.”

“Not _all_ day,” says Changkyun, chuckling softly. He flips Hoseok’s right hand over in his own and begins massaging his fingertips. “My fingertips still get really sore if I play for a long time. But my hands don’t cramp as easily as yours do.”

He moves his guitar off his lap and gestures for Hoseok to follow suit. He scooches forward to sit closer to Hoseok, then takes his left hand and gently repeats the process. 

“That feels nice,” says Hoseok quietly. The pain is now fading from his fingers thanks to Changkyun’s gentle ministrations. 

Changkyun smiles at him and begins massaging his thumbs into Hoseok’s palm, pressing out the cramping. The warmth of his hand and the rhythmic pressure he places in all of Hoseok’s sore spots is so soothing. It’s so intimate — almost erotic — especially paired with the warm gaze he fixes Hoseok with. Like in the elevator earlier, Hoseok feels drawn to Changkyun, except this time there’s nothing counting down to when the door will open on them, nothing rein them back from indulging in their desire. And as he looks into Changkyun’s eyes, Hoseok can see the tide of his thoughts shifting to match his own.

Changkyun laces his fingers through his and leans forward. With his pulse quickening, Hoseok allows himself to be gently pushed back onto his back, his hand pinned above his head. Not moving his hand from Hoseok’s, Changkyun moves to hover his body over him. His eyes burn with desire as he gazes down, chest heaving with deep breaths. Between them, the air is electric, crackling with potential. Hoseok licks his lips and arches his back, silently begging for Changkyun to close the distance.

Changkyun’s lips are on his in an instant, body rocking against his with the pent-up arousal of not touching each other for almost two weeks ago. Hoseok groans in relief and wraps his legs around Changkyun’s waist, glad that the tension is finally broken. Changkyun’s mouth is warm and insistent against his, and when Hoseok parts his lips to invite his hot tongue in, each lick thickens the fog of lust in his mind. 

“God, Kyun,” he moans when they finally break for air. Changkyun continues kissing down his neck, spurred by Hoseok’s hands running up and down his back. Finally, frustrated by the barrier of clothing, Hoseok grabs the bottom hem of Changkyun’s T-shirt and yanks it up his back.

“We’re really doing this?” Changkyun breathes. 

 _“Yes,”_ Hoseok replies, tugging at his shirt.

Changkyun chuckles and sits back, peeling it off his torso. The studio is comfortably lit, softly illuminating his skin. Hoseok reaches out and traces a palm from Changkyun’s sternum down to his abdomen, feeling his smooth, inked skin and each bump of muscle. Changkyun slips his hand under Hoseok’s T-shirt to reciprocate the touch, so Hoseok quickly shucks off his shirt too. 

When Changkyun descends on Hoseok again, it’s everything Hoseok thought last night could be. Between hot kisses and heavy touches, they shed their clothes and toss them to the floor, until at last they’re naked with Changkyun lying between Hoseok’s legs. His bare cock presses a brand against Hoseok’s thigh. 

“Let me take care of you, hyung,” he murmurs into Hoseok’s ear. He shifts back to kneel between Hoseok’s legs and takes Hoseok’s growing erection in his hand. His deep voice, his hot gaze, his firm grip send ripples of pleasure down Hoseok’s spine.

“Are you sure?” Hoseok all but gasps. _Yes, please say yes._ He’s been holding back for so long and he just wants to melt into the pleasure Changkyun’s offering him. 

“Mhmm.” Changkyun leans down to press a kiss against Hoseok’s neck, sucking lightly on his sensitive skin. A hand snakes up his chest to tweak his hard nipples, making his back arch with pleasure. Hoseok should do more to reciprocate but—

“You’re thinking too much. Relax.” 

Changkyun mouths all the way down Hoseok’s neck, down his chest, sucking on his sensitive nipples before he continues farther down, until he’s pressing wet kisses and laving his tongue all over Hoseok’s cock. It’s all too much, all too stimulating, and Hoseok can’t deny any longer that he wants to submit to whatever Changkyun wants to do to him. 

Especially not when Changkun licks his lips over his cock before engulfing it in his hot mouth. 

“Ah—”

Changkyun hums, sending vibrations coursing through his body. He lifts one of Hoseok’s legs onto his shoulders as he begins blowing him. Changkyun’s fingers trail down his thighs, making Hoseok’s pulse skyrocket as they tease his balls.

They brush over his entrance. 

“Changkyun—” Hoseok half gasps, half groans. The implication sets his body afire. He can already imagine how good it would feel, how much better it would be than jerking off alone in the shower. 

Changkyun pulls off his erection and nips at his thigh. 

“Can I?” he asks huskily. “Do you want it?”

“God, yes,” Hoseok moans. He thinks of the lube and condoms stashed in his nightstand and mentally calculates how long it’ll take them to return to the dorms. “Want it so bad.”

He makes to sit up, but Changkyun pushes him gently back down. “Wait here.”

Curious, Hoseok props himself up onto his elbows to watch as Changkyun rummages for something in his tote bag. He returns with two boxes in hand. 

“No way,” Hoseok laughs. 

“No way what?” Changkyun smirks, raising an eyebrow. 

He makes short work of the packaging and coats his fingers liberally with lube, rubbing them together to warm the substance. Hoseok’s core tightens with anticipation.

“I _just_ bought those,” he says. 

Changkyun chuckles and hitches Hoseok’s leg over his shoulder again, playfully biting his thigh. “Great minds think alike.”

“Mmmm.” Hoseok leans his head back as Changkyun takes his cock into his mouth again. His erection has flagged slightly, but Changkyun gradually brings him back to hardness as he teases Hoseok’s entrance with his slick fingers. He sucks lightly, dragging his tongue against Hoseok’s flesh, distracting him from the momentary discomfort when he finally presses a finger in. 

Changkyun pulls off his dick. “Good?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok gasps back. He’s rewarded with a hot kiss on his thigh and, after a minute, another finger. Slowly Changkyun scissors him open, adding a third when he’s loose enough, until his breaths are ragged and his toes curling with pleasure.

“Kyun,” he begs. “Please.”

“Turn around, hyung,” Changkyun murmurs. Hoseok complies immediately, rolling over onto his hands and knees. As he waits, lube drips lewdly down his thigh. He shivers with anticipation. He hears the sound of a foil wrapper ripping, feels Changkyun’s hands gripping his hips. A sharp slap lands on his ass.

“That’s for spanking me last time,” says Changkyun, soothing his palm over Hoseok’s ass. The blunt head of his cock nudges against Hoseok’s entrance but doesn’t breach it.

“Changkyun,” Hoseok groans. “Stop teasing—”

He lets out a moan as Changkyun begins pushing in, inch by inch. Changkyun fills him up, stretching his walls, reaching spots that had been untouched for so long. Arching his back, Hoseok feels so impossibly, blissfully full. Tears spring into his eyes as Changkyun starts rocking inside him. 

“Oh God.”

“Hyung, you’re so tight.” Changkyun’s hands grip his hips, fingers digging into his flesh tightly. He thrusts slowly, like he’s testing the waters.

“More,” Hoseok gasps. He needs more, needs it harder, needs it faster. Changkyun changes his angle slightly, probing until—  

“—Ah!” cries Hoseok, curling his fingers around the blanket— 

—he finds the spot that makes Hoseok see stars. He chuckles lowly and continues to thrust against Hoseok’s prostate, all while holding his hips in possessive, vice-like grip. 

Waves of pleasure course through Hoseok’s body as Changkyun picks up his pace and fucks him relentlessly. Maybe it’s been just too long since his last encounter, or maybe Changkyun’s just that good, but he can’t remember sex ever feeling this mindblowing. His dick hangs heavy and hard between his thighs, no doubt dripping a pool of precome onto the fake leather sofa. Lowering himself to balance on his left forearm, he reaches a hand below himself to stroke himself. The new angle and the stimulation to his cock bring shivers of pleasure that no doubt Changkyun can feel. 

“Go on, touch yourself,” Changkyun rumbles. His voice sounds laboured and ragged, like he’s consumed with pleasure. It tickles a part of Hoseok’s mind that’s pleased to know he can make Changkyun feel that way. He pushes back against Changkyun’s snapping hips, squeezing his muscles around his cock. 

“Fuck!” 

But Hoseok can’t keep up any longer. He’s so close. His thighs are tensing. Body shuddering as he holds back his orgasm.

“God, hyung, I hope you’re close because—”

“Yeah I’m close,” Hoseok gasps. 

Changkyun’s thrusts become staccato and erratic as he chases his own orgasm. Hoseok closes his eyes and continues fisting his cock. A tiny pinpoint of white fire grows within his core. One, two— 

“—Ah!” 

And he’s coming, white hot pleasure flooding his body. Under his own moans he can hear Changkyun’s low growl as he reaches his own peak, his dick twitching inside Hoseok as he fills the condom with his release. 

Panting, Changkyun collapses on Hoseok’s back. As Changkyun’s skin slides against his, he belatedly realizes they’re both sweating. For a moment, all that hangs in the air is the sound of their heaving breaths. 

Finally, Changkyun pulls out, carefully easing his cock out of Hoseok. Hoseok turns over and sits, careful to avoid the wet puddle of come on the sofa, while Changkyun removes the condom and knots it.  

Changkyun’s face is flushed, strands of hair clinging to his brow. Still breathing deeply, he rakes his hair back from his face and turns to Hoseok. 

“That was so good,” he breathes. 

“Yeah,” says Hoseok. His body feels like liquid honey, his joints soft and his mind glazed over. 

Changkyun slumps beside him, resting his head on his shoulder. “You’re fucking me next time.”

Hoseok laughs. Butterflies stir in his chest, and he finds he’s already anticipating the next time. “Deal.”

On the floor, unseen by them both, Hoseok’s phone screen lights up with more unread messages.  

> **미녀쿠** **  
> ** yo wonkyun when are you guys coming home
> 
> **Hamki**  
>  They’re still not home?
> 
> **JOO100**  
>  Uhh what’s that noise
> 
> **Showdad**  
>  Hey guys mind opening the door?  
>  I think I left my keys at home when I went out
> 
> **Hamki**  
>  Sure hang on
> 
> **미녀쿠** **  
> ** lmfaoooooo
> 
> **Starbucks King**  
>  yall loud
> 
> **미녀쿠**  
>  who cares about u wheres wonkyun i miss my roomie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 6 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Creep_ by Radiohead (the song Jooheon feels iffy about)  
> \- _Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?_ by Arctic Monkeys (yes i know i included it last time)
> 
> looooool 7.7k and at least 1k is smut icb myself. i hope you enjoyed it?? also peep the updated tags. or not. do ppl even read tags?
> 
> happy belated birthday to a.c.e byeongkwan! yes, it really was just his birthday (aug 13). he's an english-speaking 96-liner just like kyun, and i like that commonality btwn them. 
> 
> i have no new songs to add to the playlist :c what songs have you guys been loving recently? i'm kind of obsessed with _how do you sleep_ by sam smith. don't worry the lyrics have nothing to do with PMT tho. i also finished binge-watching _the good place._ it's witty and thought-provoking, but also really light-hearted! i liked it a lot.
> 
> lately there's been drama btwn our fandom and antis. obviously i cannot tell you what to do but this is my advice:  
> \- do not engage, even if you're in the right. you'll only give them the satisfaction of knowing they riled you up.  
> \- your time and energy are precious, so devote it to people who deserve it.  
> \- what would shownu do? 
> 
> as always, i hope everyone is well. stay hydrated and be kind to each other!! take care until next time <3 <3
> 
> fun links:  
> \- scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit)!  
> \- or send me an anon on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit) if you're shy  
> \- check out the [fic playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)! i add songs with every update, and all the songs are related to the mood of the ch or are mentioned by the characters.


	7. Chapter 7

“Alright, good job guys,” says Hoseok, finally unplugging his guitar from the amp. Although the sound of music has already died, his ears still ring with its ghosts as he winds the cords up in his hands. With cheerful voices lightly touched with fatigue, the others echo his sentiments and gather their things. Together, the six of them exit the building of their rented studio, stepping out into the evening chill. 

It’s now three quarters into September. Every year, Hoseok finds himself astonished that what seems like a never-ending summer always suddenly falls prey to waning hours of daylight and increased rains, before buckling under the weight of the Chuseok holiday to give way to the equinox. The year is advancing onto autumn, and Monsta X are advancing onto the date of their fancon. 

He hates the phrase “time flies” for multiple reasons. People either utter it as a lazy conversation filler, or they say it with sad eyes, mourning days wasted and lost. However, as he trails behind his bandmates on the darkened sidewalk, he can’t deny the veracity of the idiom. 

The bulk of September until now was spent evenly between preparing for the fancon and working on solo projects, which each member found they had more of now that their popularity has risen. At any given time, it was hard to have all six band members in the same place at once. They resorted to what they never had to do in the past: schedule group rehearsals in the evenings after dinner. 

It’s been busy, but satisfying — the kind of satisfying that comes with doing the same task over and over again, smoothing out the wrinkles and perfecting one’s work with each iteration. During group rehearsals with the band and unit rehearsals with Changkyun, he feels his fingers becoming more nimble and his fingertips toughening with practice.

During quiet hours alone, he sequesters himself in his studio with his acoustic guitar, squeezing out countless lines and tunes that he hopes can be used for future songs. Some are good: when his bandmates have more free time, he’ll ask for their input to polish those into something worthy of the upcoming album. Others not so much, but he hangs on to the scraps in case they can be reworked. Sometimes Changkyun wordlessly slips in with a notebook and noise-cancelling headphones, settling on the sofa in Hoseok’s studio and not minding the loud scratch of his pen nor the disjointed notes of his guitar. When it’s time to leave, Hoseok always buys him a coffee and a pastry from the café on the way home. 

When he’s not attached to his guitars, Hoseok occasionally drops in on the others’ rehearsals, giving them advice on how to work out the kinks. The songs they chose are still a surprise to him, and he tries his best to not think too deeply about the significance of the songs they chose. If he does, he worries he’ll fall into a spiral of poisonous thoughts that whisper words like _conflict_ and _disbandment._ It’s a comfort to him that he got to witness Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Jooheon grow more comfortable around one another, at least.

Despite their busy schedule, they all took Chuseok off to visit their families. Hoseok packed a weekender bag, bussed to his parents’ place on the edge of town, where he ate the food they cooked and smiled when they asked if he had met any nice girls or boys. He had not, and he was saved from elaborating by his brilliant and tactful sister-in-law.

He and Changkyun continue to sleep together.

In both senses of the word. Hoseok likes to think that it’s simply better than sleeping alone, but in his heart of hearts he knows it’s because they — well, mostly him — are searching for comfort and security they can find nowhere else. Hoseok doesn’t share a room with anyone, so every two days or so one of them jokingly fabricates a bogus reason for Changkyun to slip into his bed. 

“Minhyukkie-hyung’s sleep-talking about buying duct tape and rope,” said Changkyun one night, unceremoniously dropping his pillow onto the left side of Hoseok’s bed. “I think he knows I ate his leftover pizza.”

That night, Hoseok’s thoughts had been unusually loud — perhaps Changkyun knew, or maybe he didn’t, but Hoseok grounded himself and fell asleep to the sound of the younger’s breathing. The last thoughts he had before falling asleep were ones of relief and gratitude.

Another night the excuse was that Changkyun’s bed sheets needed changing — Hoseok had apparently dropped cookie crumbs on it — but it was too late in the night. With mischief glittering in his eyes, Changkyun found Hoseok in the living room and complained until Hoseok threw his hands up in mock exasperation. “Sleep in my room then, I don’t care!”

The few other members spared them nary a glance, opting instead to focus on the explosion-ridden Michael Bay movie they were watching. Hoseok and Changkyun disappeared into Hoseok’s room, and ten minutes later he had worked Changkyun open and was fucking him fast and hard into the mattress. Changkyun was so unapologetically vocal that Hoseok had to reach around and thrust his fingers into the younger’s mouth to keep it occupied. 

So yeah. Hoseok and Changkyun are sleeping together and _sleeping together._ Having sex. Fucking. A lot. 

He loves it. 

It’s the best fun he’s had in ages.

Which isn’t to say he had no qualms about it. Until Tokyo, Hoseok only ever knew sex in two contexts: in warm, caring love with past partners, and casual, selfish apathy with one-night stands. He knew how to navigate those. Partners were for kissing in the morning, one-night stands weren’t. Changkyun straddles the gap between those two domains, a man he cares for deeply but not romantically, but still more than the average friend with benefits. 

“That’s what we are, aren’t we,” Hoseok asked that night after they fucked for the first time in his studio. They were taking their time walking back to the dorm, probably for both their sakes. Hoseok’s mind was still mush from being fucked so well. “Friends with benefits?”

“Hyung, are you trying to Define The Relationship?” Changkyun chuckled, humorously emphasizing the words.

“I mean—” Hoseok pondered. “I guess?”

It was dark, but Hoseok could feel Changkyun rolling his eyes. “That’s so millennial of you. If you want a label, you can think of it like that.”

Hoseok hummed in reply. “Also I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an asshole but. Uh.”

“You wanna keep it a secret?”

“Ah, yeah.”

A chuckle. “I dunno how that’ll work in a house of seven people but sure.”

“Okay,” Hoseok replied simply, grateful for Changkyun’s understanding. The night was fair and his mind and body were still soft and relaxed, and there was no need to think too deeply about anything else. 

“Mmm,” Changkyun affirmed. Then, apropos of nothing— “I’m hungry.”

So they stopped at a convenience store for post-DTR hotdogs. As one does.

Changkyun makes it easy. By leaving for breakfast before Hoseok awoke after that first night in Tokyo, he set a clear protocol for their post-coital interactions. He clearly doesn’t expect to be treated like a lover, only to have his boundaries respected in bed and for Hoseok to keep treating him the same as before when they’re not fucking. Hoseok can easily do that.

And he does, after they return to the dorm and everyone has drifted away for the night. 

—

Hot showers always make Jooheon feel a little bit less dead. They’re one of the only places where he can turn off his thoughts and recentre himself after a long day. If he had it his way, he’d stay under the hot stream of water for hours with nothing to accompany him but the patter of water hitting tile. And music. Maybe Michael Jackson. 

But in a house of seven men with packed schedules and two bathrooms to share, taking more than twenty minutes is akin to committing a grievous crime. The others need to shower before sleeping too. Reluctantly he turns off the water and shakes out his hair, watching the droplets splatter onto the glass wall of the shower to join the water running down in rivulets. 

He steps out onto the plush bath mat on the tiled floor, slowly towelling himself dry. Twenty minutes in the shower were barely enough to fog up the mirror, so he steps up to the sink’s edge, brushes his teeth, and quickly runs through his skincare routine while staring himself in the eyes, feeling oddly buoyant.

 _Nah, you’re just tired,_ Jooheon thinks to himself.

Physically, rehearsals are always tiring. The others have the benefit of not having to move their arms as athletically as he does, but even if he plays with the most energetically conservative moments, rehearsals have him feeling like he just finished a crossfit routine. Especially with how long today’s rehearsal ran.

Physical fatigue has an easy remedy: caffeine, food, hot showers, and rest. And luckily, recovery is helped along by the peaceful sense of achievement he feels. 

For the first time, the band finally shared their unit stages with each other. 

Unit rehearsals with Minhyuk and Hyungwon have been an uphill battle to say the least. Jooheon wasn’t blind to how they clearly yearned to spend time with him and each other, but when the opportunity arose they balked like deer confronted by loud noises. It was discouraging and disheartening, and on many occasions when conversations fell flat and nervous habits re-emerged, he often wondered if it was a huge mistake to ask this of them. If it would hurt them less if he let them go.

But there were joyous, comfortable moments too, and they far outnumbered the awkward ones. They came in the form of unguarded laughter, in gentle ribbing that left Jooheon jokingly sulking, in shoulders brushing together as they walked in parallel to and from the studio — they were so magical and precious and delicate that Jooheon found himself holding his breath lest he blow them away. But while they lasted, they gave him infinite hope. 

It kept him pushing, and whether consciously or not, it had Hyungwon and Minhyuk pushing too. Although unit rehearsals started off roughly and full of false starts, it helped the three of them shed the awkwardness that had slowly brewed and intensified after their return from Tokyo.

Satisfied that his teeth are clean and his face moisturized, Jooheon gives his cheeks a sharp, invigorating slap and makes to exit the bathroom.

Just as he opens the door, he glimpses Changkyun’s tattooed back disappearing into Hoseok’s room with Hoseok’s hand guiding him in by the waist. Jooheon shakes his head as the door shuts. He has no choice but to walk by Hoseok’s door on his way to the living room, and as he passes he hears low chuckles melting into muffled moans. He rolls his eyes.

 _Horndogs,_ he thinks affectionately, quickening his pace to be out of earshot.

Minhyuk’s been borderline irritating lately, flip-flopping between gloating vaingloriously that he was the one who guessed that Hoseok and Changkyun would start sleeping together, and sulking that they won’t own up to it. However, Jooheon personally thinks they haven’t for a second deluded themselves into thinking nobody’s noticed, but are instead keeping it on the down-low to avoid stressing everyone out. It’s considerate but unnecessary.

Jooheon meanders into the kitchen, where he finds Hyunwoo bent over with his head in the fridge. Boxes and jars clack together as he rummages among them. Finally he emerges with a Cass in hand, blinking in surprise at Jooheon’s sudden appearance. 

Jooheon squints suspiciously. “Hyung… are you _post-drinking?”_

“What?” Hyunwoo deadpans. “No! The twins and I didn’t go drinking tonight.” His face splits into an exasperated smile and he adds, “Is that all you think we do?”

“Who knows,” Jooheon singsongs. “Pass me one, I want one too.”

He’ll just brush again, he figures.

Hyunwoo pulls another beer out of the fridge. Jooheon opens it and takes a long swig, the refreshing bitterness cooling him down from his hot shower. By unspoken agreement they cross the living room and slide open the porch door, settling on the plastic chairs outside to bathe in the cool air. 

“You should’ve come to rehearsal,” says Jooheon. “What were you guys doing if you weren’t drinking?”

“Bomi wanted to go to some new restaurant in Hongdae,” replies Hyunwoo. “Said we’ve been out drinking too much.”

“It’s kinda true,” says Jooheon conversationally. He hopes he doesn’t sound judgemental. Hyunwoo has been out drinking a lot of late now that Monsta X’s schedules don’t require him to be there, and a part of Jooheon can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason behind it.

“What do you guys even talk about when you drink?” he ventures. 

“This and that.” Hyunwoo takes a swig of beer. “Work. Relationship problems.”

Jooheon’s instincts ring like a bell. He cocks his head, wondering if Hyunwoo might elaborate.

“Yeoreum’s got it rough,” says Hyunwoo. “Bomi’s been seeing someone steady for half a year now and now their parents are on Yeoreum’s case about when she’ll settle down.”

“Didn’t Yeoreum-noona say marriage is a sham?” says Jooheon, remembering a staff party a year ago in which the makeup artist got _just_ drunk enough to give zero shits about speaking her mind.

“Yup,” replies Hyunwoo with a chuckle. “Said it only brings tax benefits and not much else.”

“Huh.”

A pause.

“They’re great,” Hyunwoo says thoughtfully. “Even when they have their own things going on, they still make room for me and—”

He stops abruptly, seeming to check himself. 

“Anyways,” he continues self-consciously, “they’re great people.”

“That’s good,” says Jooheon. He knows Hyunwoo won’t share any more, so he doesn’t push him any further. All the same, worry for his hyung gnaws at him. 

They continue drinking in silence, listening to the discordant sound of Seoul’s nighttime traffic whizzing through the concrete maze below. 

The moment is broken by the porch door sliding open.

“Oh,” chimes Kihyun’s voice. “You’re both here.”

Jooheon turns around in his chair. Kihyun’s standing in the doorway in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking freshly showered. In his hands he clutches a mug of tea. The only light is that which streams out from the living room, but it’s enough for Jooheon to see Hyunwoo flinch.

“Hey, do you want to take my seat?” Hyunwoo asks Kihyun. Too Jooheon’s ear he sounds rushed and a touch frantic. “I just finished my beer and I’m going in now.”

Kihyun blinks in surprise. “No — I can go back in if—”

“I insist!” 

Hyunwoo stands up abruptly and rushes back inside, turning his bulky frame so he can slip between Kihyun and the door jamb. He still manages to accidentally clip Kihyun’s shoulder as he leaves, causing the younger to stumble.

Kihyun’s expression is confused — and a touch hurt.

“I—” he begins, then looks down. “At least my tea didn’t spill.”

His voice is small, like he’s trying to console himself.

“Small mercies,” says Jooheon gently. “Sit with me, hyung. I’ll keep you company.”

“Thanks, Jooheon-ah.”

Kihyun sidles into Hyunwoo’s vacated seat, bringing his knees up to his chest. Steam drifts up from his mug in fragrant, white curls before they dissipate into the night.

“You were really good today,” says Jooheon sincerely. “It’s been forever since you played and sang at the same time, but you pulled it off like a natural.”

“I still need lots of practice,” comes Kihyun’s automatic response. Jooheon knows it’s Kihyun’s way of downplaying compliments, so he waits. A moment later, Kihyun sheepishly adds, “Thank you. I didn’t think I could do it again but — I did.”

“Cheers to hard work and practice,” says Jooheon, raising his beer. Kihyun taps his mug against the aluminum can.

“Hard work and practice…” he says pensively. “That’s all we ever do, isn’t it?”

The starkness of Kihyun’s words seize Jooheon, shaking him briefly but roughly. He’s never thought about their life now like that but… 

“You’re not wrong,” he says slowly.

“After the fancon we have to prepare for a comeback,” continues Kihyun, staring straight ahead. “Then after the comeback we have award ceremonies. Reality shows, sponsorship deals, CFs, another comeback.”

As Kihyun’s voice grows more and more weary, Jooheon finds himself at a loss for words. 

“Why did you decide to be part of this band?” Kihyun suddenly asks.

Because of the music. Because of the chance to be part of something great. Because for naive, twenty-year-old him, it was the only way he could stay close to his two exes with whom he was still madly in love. 

He hesitates to speak. In his silence, the memory of Minhyuk and Hyungwon laughing at a joke he made during rehearsals springs into his mind. Those reasons are as true now as they were then.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to answer me,” says Kihyun, laughing self-deprecatingly. “Your reasons are probably the same as mine.”

“Probably,” replies Jooheon morosely, thinking of the hurt that washed over his hyung’s face when Hyunwoo abruptly left them. 

Kihyun drains the last of his tea and turns to face Jooheon. His expression is soft, but his brows drawn slightly together. 

“You did well today, for your unit performance,” he says, gently and earnestly. “I know it wasn’t easy.” His expression flickers as he tries to find the right words. “It’ll be worth it. I _know it will.”_  

Jooheon nods dumbly. The conviction in Kihyun’s gaze drills into him, riveting him to the spot. It’s too much for a mere compliment to their unit stage; there has to be a deeper meaning within. Kihyun smiles — wistfully, Jooheon thinks — and pats him on the shoulder. He vaguely hears a “good night” before the glass door slides shut.

He idly swills the can in his hands. There’s still a mouthful of beer left, which he tilts his head back to drink. When he closes the glass door again, he shuts out the discordant sounds of the city as well.

He rinses out his empty beer can and tosses it into the recycling. As he walks through the dorm back to the bedrooms, all is quiet, but not deathly so. Soft, drowsy murmurs drift from Hoseok’s room. There are warm rustles, and if he strains his ears, he can almost hear the others snoring. 

He pauses at the door of the bedroom he shares with Hyungwon, chewing on his cheek. If Changkyun is with Hoseok, Minhyuk is alone in their bedroom. His heart is pulled into two directions, longing and guilt tugging at him in equal measure.

It’s difficult, but he makes up his mind. That night he sleeps in Changkyun’s vacated bed, cradled by the heart-wrenchingly familiar sound of Minhyuk’s breathing, wishing Hyungwon was there too to make everything sound whole and complete.

— 

The sound of a pen scratching on paper tickles Hoseok’s ears. He squeezes his eyes shut at the noise but it continues haltingly, punctuated by long scratches suggesting whole lines being struck out. He opens his eyes and blinks.

Changkyun is sitting beside him, just as bare-chested as he was last night. His expression is that of restrained frustration as he writes in the thick notebook in his lap. Hoseok glimpses a mix of Hangul and English — and curiously, what looks like a second, thinner notebook tucked between the pages — before Changkyun angles it away from him. 

“You’re awake,” he says. The wrinkles smooth out of his brow as he looks at Hoseok.

“Mmm,” Hoseok hums sleepily. “I’ve never seen that notebook before.”

“This one?” Changkyun holds up the thick black Moleskine; Hoseok recognizes it as the monogrammed one gifted to him by a fan.

Hoseok shakes his head. “The one tucked inside it.”

“There’s nothing tucked inside,” says Changkyun, wide-eyed with confusion. He slips the elastic band closure over the cover of the monogrammed Moleskine, securing the pages together. Hoseok furrows his brows. He swore there’d been another notebook there. Maybe he’s still waking up.

Changkyun leans over, lightly tossing the notebook and pen onto Hoseok’s desk. Hoseok’s eyes follow their trajectory to where they land, skidding a short distance on the laminate surface before resting to a stop.

“What were you writing?” he asks instead.

Changkyun groans, stretching his arms upwards. He rolls his head from side to side, stretching out his neck muscles and exposing his mole-speckled throat. He’s a pretty sight to wake up to, Hoseok muses. Lazy mornings have gotten a lot more pleasant since they started their arrangement.

“Words, words, words,” Changkyun sighs. 

Hoseok’s lip twitches. “Why so mysterious, Hamlet?”

Changkyun lifts an eyebrow. “You know your Shakespeare.”

Tugging Changkyun down, Hoseok responds, “Everyone’s read _Hamlet,_ you brat.”

“Touché.” Easily following Hoseok’s pull, he asks, “I’m not little demon anymore?”

“You’re always little demon.” Hoseok laces his fingers into Changkyun’s hair, gently drawing him close. Hands wander leisurely over bare skin as they kiss lazily, more for pleasure than to arouse. Hoseok nips at Changkyun’s bottom lip before brushing his lips down the column of his pretty neck, barely sucking at the delicate skin.  

“You woke me up with your writing noises,” he murmurs. Changkyun hums, tilting his head back for Hoseok to access his neck. “At least tell me what you were writing.”

“Please, you love being awake when I’m awake,” Changkyun retorts. Hoseok chuckles and swings his body over Changkyun’s, balancing himself on his elbows so as to not crush him. 

“Mhmm,” he agrees, kissing back up Changkyun’s neck, along his jaw, on the corner of his mouth. Between nips and kisses he says, “You really won’t share?”

“Hah,” Changkyun breathes. He grabs Hoseok by the back of the head and pulls him in to kiss him deeply and properly. Hoseok groans when Changkyun’s tongue slips hot and wet into his mouth, licking at his own. With surprising strength, Changkyun flips them both over to straddle Hoseok’s hips. 

“Bold of you to assume I wrote anything when I’ve been writer’s-blocked like a dumbass for weeks,” Changkyun rumbles. His thighs squeeze subtly around Hoseok, hips rolling in a facsimile of a position they enjoy immensely. Maybe arousal was the intention after all, as each little movement turns Hoseok on more and more.

Hoseok grips Changkyun’s toned waist, thrusting his hips up. His voice is husky as he speaks. “Should I inspire you?”

Changkyun bites his lip and stares down at him. 

“C’mon,” Hoseok murmurs. He trails a hand down Changkyun’s tattooed chest, brushing his fingers over his sensitive nipples. Changkyun’s teeth dig into his lip, indecision warring in his eyes. 

Finally Changkyun sighs and grabs both of Hoseok’s hands, easing them off his body. 

“Can’t,” he says, smiling with amusement and regret. He gets up from Hoseok’s lap and crosses the floor to his closet. “I’m meeting Byeongkwannie and Sehyoon-hyung for breakfast. They’re even picking me up.”

Hoseok’s mind recalls the blond rapper who opened the door for them last month when they delivered Byeongkwan’s present. An idea pops into his head. “Doesn’t Sehyoon-ssi write songs for A.C.E?”

“Hmm? Yeah. Why?”

Hoseok props himself up on his elbows to watch Changkyun pull out a hoodie and slip it on. Large even by Hoseok’s standards, it swamps his body and skims the bottom of his boxers. 

“Have you considered collabing with him?” asks Hoseok. It makes sense. If changing the routine didn’t work, maybe changing the environment will. 

Changkyun pauses, cocking his head in contemplation. Hoseok can see the gears turning in his head. 

“Think about it,” says Hoseok. He gets out of bed and pulls a pair of sweatpants out of his dresser. Slipping them on, he continues, “You could write together.”

“He sings, too,” says Changkyun thoughtfully. “He doesn’t just rap.”

“Is there anything he can’t do?” Hoseok laughs. “Feature him in a song or something.”

Nodding slowly, Changkyun says, “I’ll think about that. I’ll ask him over breakfast.”

“Good,” smiles Hoseok.

“Maybe he’d be down to collab after our fancon,” says Changkyun, perking up visibly. “Thanks, hyung.”

“Go brush your teeth,” says Hoseok, playfully slapping Changkyun on the bottom. “Your breath stinks.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining while we were swapping spit,” Changkyun singsongs. 

“Disgusting. Get out.”

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rings while Hoseok is still in just his sweatpants, munching on a banana. He begins making his way over to the foyer to open the door, but Changkyun beats him to it. 

“Heyyy, Jason! Hi, Sehyoon-hyung.”

“Oh my God, Changkyun,” a calm voice laughs, “I don’t go by Jason anymore.”

Drawn by their laughter, Hoseok slips on a zip-up hoodie left lying on the couch. He meanders past the noise in the kitchen to the front door to say hello. It’s been a while since he’s seen Sehyoon, and even longer since he’s seen Byeongkwan. When he rounds the corner and steps into the foyer where they’re waiting for Changkyun to put on his shoes, he’s glad to see they’re both healthy and well, and that their domestic promotions for their new single haven’t worn them out too badly.

“Hey, long time no see!” he greets.

“Hoseok-ssi!” Sehyoon smiles. 

“Wow, Hoseok-ssi!” Byeongkwan exclaims admiringly. “Yuchan wasn’t lying about you looking like Captain Korea.”

“The real Captain Korea wouldn’t use his powers for evil like he does,” Changkyun grumbles, still hunched over his laces.

Hoseok laughs and slaps Changkyun on the back, prompting a yelp from the younger. “Enjoy your breakfast, okay?”

The A.C.E members thank him and bid him a good day, but Changkyun sniffs, nods in mock disdain, and ushers his friends out of the dorm. Before he closes the door, he playfully sticks his tongue out at Hoseok, bringing a giggle out of both of them.

Hoseok spends the rest of the day doing “leader things,” as the band likes to call them. The concert is now less than five sleeps away, and time always seems to run faster the closer one is to a deadline. During this time, he often shoulders all the little tasks that have to be completed rather than delegating them to the others. This way he can ensure everything is done as it should be, with no room for miscommunication. It also leaves them space in their day for leisure activities like meals with friends.

Despite the tediousness of the work, he can’t wait for when it’ll all come to fruition. There’s an anxiousness to see the fans again, to show them they’ve been hard at work since the last time they were together. But it’s outweighed by the fond nostalgia that always comes with pre-fancon preparation. This time of year is always accompanied by memories of the band — plus Hyunwoo — sitting at the dining table with a sheet of paper and a pen, brainstorming names for their fandom. They’ve come a long way since that evening huddled around the table, and Hoseok knows they can go even farther.

As he goes about his day, making phone calls and picking up things needed, he carries that thought with him and it heightens his excitement.

—

The day of the fancon arrives both too quickly and not quickly enough. Even though they’ve been through countless concerts, the night before one following a long break always sees Hoseok in jitters. In fact, he was so obnoxiously fidgety that Changkyun left his bed in a huff, only to return five minutes later citing that Minhyuk was gone — to sleep in Jooheon and Hyungwon’s — and that his own room was too creepy and quiet.

Hoseok is so excited that he hardly remembers what he pulls out of his closet to wear until they change into their concert attire, barely tastes the food he eats during the day. Sound check, hair, makeup, and wardrobe pass by in a blur, and before he knows it he’s waiting in the darkened wings of the stage with his bandmates, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“I can’t believe you’re not the maknae,” Minhyuk mutters as they wait for the stage staff to give them the thumbs up to go onstage. Hoseok shrugs and Changkyun laughs quietly. 

“I can’t believe you’re older than me either,” Hyungwon retorts, prompting a loud raspberry from Minhyuk that earns them both kicks in the shins from Kihyun.

Outside, the buzz of the crowd hushes when the lights dim.

The stage hand ushers them onstage. Quietly they go to their places and take up their instruments. Hoseok takes a deep breath. The stage is dark as he plays the first lick of the opening notes.

_Yeah!_

The lights burst on and the crowd goes wild, fuelled by excitement and the fun mood of _Rodeo._ Hoseok relaxes under the hot lights overhead, smiling as Kihyun prowls across the stage with his mic stand.

 _거침없는 밤 널 위한 일탈 / A night without reservations, a departure for you_  
_분위기 get high get high get high / The atmosphere get high get high get high_  
_이 리듬 위에 올라타면 돼 / You just need to rise above this rhythm_  
_시작해봐 / Try starting it_  
_몸가는대로 빨리빨리 / Quick quick along the way your body goes_ _  
Baby baby bae_

Kihyun walks up to Changkyun, holding the mic up for him to rap his lines. Changkyun’s voice is a growl, wild and aggressive — and perhaps Hoseok should focus on the music and not think about the last time he heard that sound coming from the maknae.

 _Pop that bottle on the table_  
_불도저처럼 전진 오늘 / Go forward like a bulldozer today_  
_몸가는대로 / Along the way your body goes_  
_Baby baby bae_  
_이 판을 뒤집어봐 / Try to turn these tables_ _  
오늘은 너가 정답 / Today you’re the correct answer_

Kihyun slips away again, taking the mic and mic stand with him as he tugs the song into the slowly building pre-chorus. 

 _몸가는대로 / Along the way your body goes_  
_사막의 밤보다 차가워 / Colder than the desert night_  
_저기 달보다 아름다워 / More beautiful than the moon_  
_심장 터질 것 같아 / My heart feels like it might explode_  
_뜨거워진 열기 / The rising heart_ _  
이 순간 멈출 수 없어 / I can’t stop this moment_

The chorus explodes in a riot of drums and guitar. Kihyun detaches the mic, flinging away the mic stand with his classic flare.

 _세상이란 거친 rodeo / A wild rodeo known as this world_  
_숨 고르고 1, 2, 3, let’s go / Catching my breath, 1, 2, 3, let’s go_  
_긴장 풀어 이건 rodeo / Relax this is rodeo_ _  
미치도록 1 2 3 Let’s go / Until we’re crazy, 1, 2, 3, let’s go_

When the song ends, it’s replaced by the warm roar of the crowd. 

“Monbebes!” Hoseok shouts into his mic; they cheer back at him, their waving Mondoongies resembling thousands of fireflies. 

“How are you doing tonight?” Jooheon roars from behind his drums. Monbebes holler back even louder, shaking their Mondoongies vigorously. 

They play a few more songs, making banter in between. As they move down their set list, regret that the evening is closer to ending wars with excitement at finally showing their unit stages. Finally, when the last note of _Dramarama_ dies out, Changkyun catches Hoseok’s eye and licks his lips. 

“Alright Monbebes,” Kihyun shouts. “We’ve got something special planned for tonight!”

Hoseok and Changkyun quietly slip offstage to fetch the guitars they’ll be using for their unit stage. 

“You ready?” Changkyun murmurs, setting down his black bass.

“One hundred percent,” Hoseok smirks, setting his guitar down beside Changkyun’s. 

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, then draws him in for a playful kiss in the secluded darkness. His fingers are firm against Hoseok’s scalp as he nibbles on Hoseok’s bottom lip. 

“For good luck,” he whispers, pulling away. Hoseok laughs and tugs him in again, kissing him deeply. 

The crowd outside roars again, bringing them out of their quiet moment. 

“Let’s go,” says Hoseok, picking up Changkyun’s white electric guitar. Changkyun shoots him a flirty smile, taking up the black bass Hoseok will be playing. 

They cross paths with their bandmates as they make their way back.

“Break a leg,” Minhyuk winks. 

“Just watch us,” Changkyun taunts back, and they step out into the bright blaze onstage.

The lights are hot, but Changkyun’s gaze on Hoseok is even hotter. Hoseok chuckles and hands Changkyun the guitar momentarily. The crowd goes wild as he takes off his leather jacket, peels off the T-shirt within, and puts his jacket back on, leaving it undone to show his bare chest. 

“You ready Monbebes?” he shouts, throwing the T-shirt into the crowd. Their excited screams melt into confused murmurs as Changkyun hands him back his guitar — not the white one he walked onstage with, but the black bass he’ll be playing. 

Changkyun grins devilishly at their response. Locking eyes with the younger, Hoseok begins playing the sensual bassline of _Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?_  

Changkyun’s voice is deep, sinfully smooth as he croons the lyrics. 

 _The mirror's image tells me it's home time_  
_But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side_  
_And as I arrived I thought I saw you leaving_  
_Carrying your shoes_  
_Decided that once again I was just dreaming_ _  
Of bumping into you_

Hoseok saunters close, leaning in to share Changkyun’s mic. Changkyun’s gaze bores into him as he sings the chorus’ backing vocals in falsetto.

 _Now, it's three in the morning_  
_And I'm tryna change your mind_  
_Left you multiple missed calls_  
_And to my message, you reply_  
_"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"_ _  
"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"_

They’re on a stage surrounded by thousands of people, but Hoseok only has eyes for the sultry way Changkyun sings into the mic. When Changkyun turns his fiery gaze to him, eyes filled with pride at Hoseok’s accomplishment, Hoseok’s pulse quickens.

 _And I can't see you here, wondering where am I_  
_It sort of feels like I'm runnin' out of time_  
_I haven't found all I was hoping to find_  
_You said you got to be up in the morning_  
_Gonna have an early night_  
_And you're starting to bore me, baby_ _  
"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"_

Hoseok’s chest is heaving by the time they finish their stage. Changkyun stares back at him, and he knows the maknae is feeling the same hot satisfaction he’s feeling. Changkyun grins, then turns to the roar of the audience. 

“Give it up for Wonho!” he yells, slinging an arm over Hoseok’s shoulders. 

The stage hands quickly come on, bringing with them a stool and the mics Kihyun will need. They’re followed by Kihyun himself and his treasured acoustic guitar. He high-fives them both as they cross each other. 

“Good job out there,” mutters Kihyun with a grin.  

“Good luck,” Hoseok replies, mirroring Kihyun’s smile. 

The others are also backstage to watch Kihyun. As Kihyun settles himself on the stool, Jooheon gives Changkyun a congratulatory slap on the back and Minhyuk sidles up to Hoseok. 

“Way to eye-fuck the maknae onstage,” he mutters teasingly. Hoseok huffs a laugh and shoves Minhyuk away. Changkyun returns to his side and leans his head on his shoulder.

Onstage, Kihyun readies his guitar. Hoseok watches intently as he takes a deep breath before opening his mouth to sing Jason Mraz’s _You and I Both._

 _Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me_  
_Oh, things are gonna happen naturally_  
_Oh, taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side_  
_And balancing the whole thing_  
_Oh, but often times those words get tangled up in lines_  
_And the bright lights turn to night_  
_Oh, until the dawn it brings_ _  
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me_

To Hoseok’s right, he spies Minhyuk smiling proudly as Kihyun hits the soaring chorus, strumming energetically. Jooheon and Hyungwon bracket Minhyuk, surrounding him with their arms. To their surprise, the audience sings along — Kihyun chose a good song that many would know, Hoseok surmises.

 _'Cause you and I both loved_  
_What you and I spoke of_  
_And others just read of_ _  
Others only read of the love, the love that I love_

“Wow,” Changkyun whispers, resting his head more heavily on Hoseok’s shoulder.

Hoseok wraps an arm around Changkyun’s waist in response. “Yeah.”

There’s something so raw, heartfelt, and honest in the way Kihyun sings that there’s no doubt it comes from a place of personal experience. Once Kihyun reaches the bittersweet bridge, Hoseok can taste the same wistfulness Kihyun must be feeling onstage.  

 _And it's okay if you have to go away_  
_Oh, just remember the telephone works both ways_  
_But if I never ever hear them ring_  
_If nothing else, I'll think the bells inside_  
_Have finally found you someone else and that's okay_ _  
'Cause I'll remember everything you sang_

Hyunwoo has stepped up to Hoseok and Changkyun’s left, and the movement catches Hoseok’s eye. When he looks, he sees a look of pure surprise — and something else that he can’t read — colouring their manager’s face. Hoseok doesn’t know if it’s because Hyunwoo has never seen Kihyun rehearsing for this stage, or if the sheer emotion with which Kihyun sings leaves him in awe. 

 _'Cause you and I both loved_  
_What you and I spoke of_  
_And others just read of_  
_And if you could see me now_  
_Well, then I'm almost finally out of_  
_I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de_ _  
Well, I'm almost finally, finally, out of words_

The last note dies out to the warm cheers of the crowd. Kihyun waves happily to Monbebes before hopping off his stool, bringing his guitar backstage with him. Minhyuk is the first to pull Kihyun into a tight hug.

“Good job,” Hoseok can hear him whispering. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Min,” Kihyun replies, squeezing Minhyuk back. “You’ll be great out there too.”

As Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Jooheon pass by Hoseok to file onstage, he pats each of them on the back. Hoseok braces himself for the finished product of the countless rehearsals of _Creep_ he’s sat in for. He knows Hyungwon’s voice is gentle and soulful, but he’s still shaken by the loneliness he infuses into the lyrics and the way Minhyuk’s guitar delicately underlies them.

 _When you were here before_  
_Couldn't look you in the eye_  
_You're just like an angel_  
_Your skin makes me cry_  
_You float like a feather_  
_In a beautiful world_  
_I wish I was special_ _  
You're so fuckin' special_

Minhyuk clenches his jaw and Jooheon goes hard on the drums as Hyungwon puts grit into his voice for the chorus.

 _But I'm a creep_  
_I'm a weirdo_  
_What the hell am I doing here?_ _  
I don't belong here_

The crowd sways their lights to the rhythm of their music, the sea of lights pulsing gently like an aching heart. Hyungwon’s voice soars high at the bridge, tugging on Hoseok’s heartstrings like a kite borne on the wind.

 _They’re running out the door_  
_They’re running out_  
_They run, run, run, run_ _  
Run_

The unexpected change of pronouns takes Hoseok by surprise. The backstage area is dark, but the lights onstage are enough for him to see Kihyun’s expression, and the tears pooling in his eyes as they watch their friends pour their hearts and their hurt out onstage.

 _Whatever makes you happy_  
_Whatever you want_  
_You're so fuckin' special_  
_I wish I was special_  
_But I'm a creep_  
_I'm a weirdo_  
_What the hell am I doing here?_  
_I don't belong here_ _  
I don't belong here_

— 

 **🦄 📌check pinned** @cucumberslayer  
i’m so glad they went with if only for the encore… i wanted to see that live so badly and i finally got to

 

 **👑 bebegom is our overlord 👑** @wonhohoho  
wait kihyun can play GUITAR?! 

> **[s/h]** @godkihyun  
>  You must be new around here

 

 **crying bc of hyungwon** @poodlewon  
Hyungwon has such a soulful voice ;;; when I say I was a crying mess in the venue when he sang Creep

 

 **jackigom 🌦 #MXfancon** @bluem00nrabbit  
The energy in the venue was so good tonight :c the boys kept making jokes with us and at one point they even brought manager hyunwoo up ;;; i’m so sad i miss everyone alrdy

 

 **🐈🐈🐈** @kittykyun  
hahahahaahahahah wonkyun  
[ picture ] [ picture ]  
[ picture ] [ picture ]

> **Perpetually Screaming** @jooliuscaesar  
>  The way they’re looking at each other— 
> 
> **🐈🐈🐈** @kittykyun  
>  honestly what goes on in that dorm

— 

Thanks to Minhyuk’s wit and foresight, the food courier’s car pulls up to the bottom of their building mere seconds after they do. They carry the food up then rush through showering; this time Jooheon doesn’t lament not having more time to soak under the hot cascade of water. 

Bone-tired but joyful, they regroup in the living room, circling around the boxes of food on the coffee table. Hyunwoo pulls the remaining beer from the fridge — not a lot, thankfully — and they dig into their food, chatting quietly but happily.

“Another concert well done,” says Hyunwoo, cracking open a beer. The others reach for the chilled cans too, but Kihyun gets up and fills a glass of water for himself in the kitchen. When he returns, he sits a distance away from their manager, close enough to not arouse the suspicions of others, yet far enough for Jooheon to notice.

It’s a far cry from how Kihyun draped himself over Hyunwoo in his drunken stupor back in Tokyo. He probably doesn’t trust himself to not do that, Jooheon thinks. Nevertheless, Kihyun looks cheerful and relaxed as he digs into the food.

“Oof, maknae,” Hyungwon teases. “All grown up now. I knew you guys were toning it down for rehearsals but that was just wild.”

Wiggling his eyebrows, Minhyuk says, “It’s almost like—”

Kihyun cuts him off by stuffing a large piece of garlic bread into his mouth. Confused but still amused, Hoseok and Changkyun laugh at their antics while accepting Hyungwon’s praise. Hoseok pats Minhyuk on the back in gleeful sympathy, causing him to cough even harder.

“I saw a lot of teary eyes in the audience during _Creep,”_ says Kihyun, wiping the grease from the garlic bread off his fingers. He smiles proudly at Jooheon. “I was really moved.”

“Thanks, hyung,” says Jooheon. He raises his beer can, and Kihyun taps it with his glass.

Having properly swallowed the bread, Minhyuk pulls Hyungwon into a noisy impression of Hoseok and Changkyun’s unit stage, drawing raucous laughter from the latter two. Jooheon laughs too, uplifted by the joy of seeing his two loves having fun. Maybe a month ago he would’ve been jealous, but he can’t bring himself to feel that right now, not while they’re both finally allowing themselves to relax around each other again. 

Their renewed closeness is beautiful and spellbinding. It reminds him of his university days of longingly watching them hold hands, wishing for the impossible. But now, maybe… 

Another exchange to the side snags his attention, so quiet that he might have missed it.

“You were great too, Kihyun-ah,” says Hyunwoo a touch haltingly. “I wasn’t at any of the rehearsals so it was a big surprise to me. It reminded me of when we were in school.”

Kihyun blinks in surprise, looking unsure of how to respond. A moment later his features melt into an awkward smile. “Thank you.”

Hyunwoo nods. It’s his turn to look dejected when Kihyun returns to the kitchen to refill his water. 

The night wears on pleasantly, buoyed by the good post-concert feelings and alcohol. There’s not enough to get them properly sloshed, so they finish their food tipsily at best. Between bites, Jooheon laughs at Hoseok and Changkyun clumsily trying to feed each other by hand, and doesn’t stop himself from glancing at Hyungwon and Minhyuk who are resting contentedly against each other, smiling warmly at him.

He loves them. He’s spent eight years loving them in equal and increasing measure, and it’s not going to change or abate no matter what he tells himself. 

When the food is all eaten, the takeout boxes cleared away, and the others gone to their respective rooms, his heart is haywire as he stops Minhyuk from retiring for the night. 

“Jagi?” Hyungwon questions, his voice laced with confusion.

Both their faces are softly illuminated by surprise. 

Jooheon swallows down the butterflies that tickle their wings against his ribcage. He takes them both gently by their hands. 

“Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 7 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Wondrous Place_ by The Last Shadow Puppets  
> \- _Rodeo_ by Monsta X  
> \- _Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?_ by Arctic Monkeys  
> \- _You and I Both_ by Jason Mraz (pls listen to Kihyun's pre-debut cover of it! I put it in the playlist!)  
> \- _Creep_ by Radiohead  
> \- _Heavenly_ by Cigarettes After Sex
> 
> the wheels are finally moving!! if you've stuck with PMT so far, thank you from the deepest depths of my heart. thank you to everyone who has reached out to me between last update and this one too, you are all angels and i'm grateful for each and every one of you <3
> 
> important news: my dear friend [DoctorFatCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorFatCat/pseuds/DoctorFatCat/) made an amazing trailer for PMT! please check it out [!!! here !!!](https://youtu.be/Qp4K7jhUbuI) and give it lots of love!
> 
> i am also obsessed with fromzerohs's soft beautiful fic [foaling season](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20374102). it's the precursor to their upcoming wonkyun vet au!! if you love animals, especially baby animals, i think you'll love foaling season too so pls go check it out ;w;
> 
> are you guys reading averyblue's [the theory of first loves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13130928/chapters/30037959)? i'm ultra excited for what's to come!!
> 
> fun links:  
> \- scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit)  
> \- if you're shy, send me an anon on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit)  
> \- the [fic playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9)


	8. Chapter 8

The morning after the fancon brings pale autumn sunlight streaming in through the windows of the dorm. Kihyun wakes to it dancing across his eyelids, and he lies facing the ceiling, drowsy and unwilling to move. Eventually his body tells him he won’t be able to fall back asleep, so he finds himself stuffing his glasses on and crawling out of bed to search for sustenance.

When he stumbles into the kitchen, wrapped in his plush robe, he’s surprised to find Hoseok at the stove and coffee machine already running. Hoseok looks over his bare shoulder at the sound of Kihyun’s approach.

“You’re up early,” he says. He sounds shifty. “Didn’t expect anyone else to be up at this hour.”

“Morning,” Kihyun croaks, leaning against the counter. He glances at the faint red scratches on Hoseok’s back, then from the two plates and cutlery waiting on a tray by the stove to the skillet wherein Hoseok’s making a massive omelette. The heavenly aroma of spinach and cheese fills the kitchen.

“Oh,” Hoseok fumbles. “Changkyunnie hurt his ankle yesterday during the concert and I thought—”

“I know, I saw he was wincing a lot,” says Kihyun simply. When they left the stage last night, he noticed that Changkyun was visibly favouring one foot, making him wonder what he even did during the concert to bring such an injury. Nonetheless, it’s nothing out of the ordinary for Hoseok to go this far out of his way to dote on the maknae.

(Kihyun has also noticed that the maknae’s been sleeping more and more in Hoseok’s room, but he doesn’t probe. They probably have a good reason for keeping quiet about it, and he respects that.) 

As he waits for the coffee to finish brewing, he pulls a banana from the fruit basket on the counter and eats slowly, waiting for his mind to sharpen. 

Toast springs out of the toaster; Hoseok hurriedly plates the slices of bread, splits the omelette right down the middle with his spatula and plates the halves as well. When the coffee machine beeps to signal its completion, he pours three mugs of coffee, one of which Kihyun happily accepts. 

“Enjoy your breakfast, okay?” says Kihyun, raising the mug to his lips. The coffee tastes good. He normally hates coffee brewed from the machine, but somehow Hoseok manages to coax it into producing something close to his usual pour-over.  

Understanding Kihyun’s meaning, Hoseok relaxes and smiles gratefully at him. He takes the tray off the counter. “You too.”

As if summoned by the presence of caffeine, Hyunwoo traipses into the kitchen, bespectacled and rubbing his face with a large hand.

“Mornin’, guys,” he yawns, covering his mouth.  

“Hey, hyung,” says Hoseok. He pauses with his breakfast tray in hand, glancing between the kitchen entrance and Hyunwoo. Finally when he makes up his mind, he deflates a little. “I’ll go wake Changkyunnie up.”

Kihyun hears Hoseok set the tray on the dining table outside the kitchen. His slippers make slapping sounds as he jogs down the hallway.

Hyunwoo hovers by the counter as though unsure of how to act around Kihyun. It’s unsurprising, considering — well, everything lately. Kihyun thinks back to their manager’s clumsy attempts at avoiding him, and the distance he himself put between the two of them out of hurt when Hyunwoo tried to bridge the gap again.

 _That did you a load of good,_ Kihyun thinks to himself. It ached to feel Hyunwoo’s absence on nights when they returned from group rehearsals. It hurt something awful to watch Hyunwoo flinch at the sight of him, then to lie awake at night wondering the reason why. The most excruciating were the days Hyunwoo was just _there_ but out of reach, all because Kihyun decided it was better to stay away.

Yet here stands Hyunwoo by the counter, impossibly more handsome than he was the night Minhyuk dragged Kihyun out to meet his university sunbaes. With his eyebrows drawn anxiously together, he looks like he’s just waiting for Kihyun to fall back into the same routine of silently loving him.

“Kihyunnie…” Hyunwoo begins hesitantly.

“Coffee?” Kihyun asks with a half-smile. There’s really no need to ask after all these years. He knows Hyunwoo’s eyes will scrunch into crescents, prompting a squeeze of Kihyun’s heart, and he knows the answer will be yes.

Just as he has, time and again, Hyunwoo smiles back at him like he’s heard good news that made his day, only this time it’s tinted with relief. “Yes, please.”

Kihyun pulls a mug from the cupboard, adding sugar to the bottom before topping it with coffee and a splash of milk. The familiar rhythm of his motions wears a dull ache in his heart.

“Thanks,” says Hyunwoo, taking the mug. His eyebrows knit together. “Is that all you’re eating?”

“I’ll eat more later,” Kihyun assures. 

Wordlessly Hyunwoo digs out a box of cereal and shakes out two bowls, one for himself and one for Kihyun. He tops them with milk and blueberries pulled from the fridge, then carries them to the table outside with a timid, beckoning smile tossed over his shoulder.

Kihyun shakes his head — partly in fondness, partly to recentre himself — and follows, cradling his hot mug of coffee in his hands.

Hyunwoo, Hoseok, and Changkyun are seated at the dining table, happily digging into their breakfasts; evidently Hoseok went back to his room not only to fetch a soft, pajama-clad Changkyun, but also to put a shirt on. 

“Mmph, this is so good,” Changkyun praises with his mouth full. “Thanks, hyung. Morning, Ki-hyung.”

“Morning, Kyunnie,” Kihyun replies as Hoseok grins at the maknae.

“None for me, Hoseok?” jokes Hyunwoo. He has his iPad out, no doubt reading the news while eating his cereal as is his morning habit.

“You didn’t fuck up your ankle onstage like Jjangkyunnie did though,” Hoseok points out plainly but savagely, gesturing with his fork. 

Kihyun settles down in the seat where Hyunwoo placed his bowl of cereal. It’s the nice grown-up kind — with clusters of oats, dried apple slices, and slivers of almond — not the sugary American kind that the maknaes seem to love. The blueberries bob temptingly between the flakes, a bittersweet reminder of Hyunwoo’s thoughtfulness. 

Kihyun has barely raised his spoon to his mouth when three pairs of feet slap down the hallway. Minhyuk thunders into the dining area, dragging Hyungwon and Jooheon with him and beaming with the fierce joy of a summer sunrise. Behind him, Hyungwon and Jooheon are smiling too, gazing at him with fond eyes.

“Guys!” Minhyuk grins at those sitting at the table, then raises both his hands. His fingers are tightly laced with Hyungwon and Jooheon’s, bringing their hands up with his in celebration.

“Damn!” Changkyun cheers. Hoseok whoops and claps.

Kihyun’s eyes dart from their smiling faces to their intertwined hands — as understanding dawns on him, it’s quickly followed by elation welling up in his heart. He barely hears the dull scratch of chair legs against hardwood as he jumps up to hug his friends.

“God I’m so happy for you guys,” he gushes, trying to wrap his arms around all three of them. He’s shorter, so they laugh and surround him in a tight group hug instead.

“Ahhhhhh I can’t believe it,” says Changkyun happily. “You guys finally got your shit together.”

“Changkyun!” Hoseok scolds with a smile. His eyes are misty as he watches the trio.

“No, you’re absolutely right,” says Jooheon, cheeks dimpling with mirth. “Took us a while but here we are.”

“All thanks to you,” says Hyungwon affectionately, bringing a shy yet unwavering smile to Jooheon’s face.

“Congratulations,” Hyunwoo says proudly.

“Thanks! Guys I’m really sorry but I’m hungry as fuck,” says Minhyuk, not looking one bit sorry. “Feelings are great, etcetera etcetera — can we cut this short?”

“Alright, go eat!” Kihyun chuckles, swatting Minhyuk’s back.

“I want _pancakes!”_ Minhyuk exclaims as he pulls his boyfriends with him into the kitchen.

The moment they disappear, Hoseok begins sniffling. “They look so happy together. What the heck. Ahhh!”

Changkyun laughs gently and cups Hoseok’s cheeks, thumbing away the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Hoseok sits docilely, allowing the younger to wipe his face dry.

“I’m happy for them,” says Hyunwoo, leaning contentedly back in his chair. Pensively he adds, “They’re lucky to have each other.”

“Yeah,” agrees Kihyun, unable to suppress the soft smile on his lips. He’s proud of Jooheon for taking the leap of faith and speaking his heart — something Kihyun has been unable to do for himself, he thinks wistfully. But the sound of utensils clattering and the trio’s laughter echoing in the kitchen chases away almost all thoughts of his own predicament and the bespectacled man sitting across the table from him.

— 

After breakfast, Kihyun pours another cup of coffee and sits himself on the balcony to memorize his script for his upcoming MCountdown MC-ing appearance. The urge to do his reviewing in his room sprawled on his bed is overwhelming, but throughout university Kihyun made a hard rule of never studying in bed, which served him well. Luckily it’s not too cold out if he dresses warmly, and the balcony is _just_ small enough that he’ll probably be left alone to get the task done.

He sighs. The stack of cue cards is thick and heavy in his hands. He recalls being pleased to sign up for the gig a couple months ago when it was offered to him, but now he wishes he had considered that he might want to rest a little.

 _If I had a time machine,_ he inwardly sighs, flipping through the cards. The text blurs together into a jumble, with random words like _exciting!_ and _fun!_ jumping out to mock him.

A knock on the glass — Minhyuk’s, by the distinctive rhythm — rouses his attention. He turns around as it slides open.

“Heyy, Ki,” says Minhyuk, stepping out onto the balcony with a mug cradled in both hands. 

“Hey!” Kihyun smiles and pulls out the other chair. “Sit down with me.”

Minhyuk happily sits in the proffered seat. “I’m not bothering you?” he asks, glancing at the cue cards.

“No, not at all!” Kihyun insists. He hasn’t even started reviewing but already the interruption feels welcome. “Where are your men?”

“Hah. My men.” A tiny smile plays on Minhyuk’s lips, and he rolls his eyes fondly. “They wanted to go back to bed.”

“You’re happy,” Kihyun observes.

“Yeah. It’s weird.” Minhyuk takes a sip from his mug. “A month ago I would’ve been crazy jealous but I feel… at peace.”

The joy radiating from him brings a smile to Kihyun’s face. “All’s well that ends well, isn’t it?”

Minhyuk laughs. “Yes. And no. We still have a lot to work through.” Looking ahead over the city, he takes a long sip from his drink. “We talked about it last night. We all know ourselves well enough to know it won’t be easy. But it’ll be better than back then because we have each other now.”

“That’s beautiful,” says Kihyun. He means it sincerely. “Oh, Min, I’m so happy for you.”

Turning to face Kihyun, Minhyuk beams. He reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thanks, Ki.”

A moment later — “What about you?”

“Me?” Kihyun echoes.

“You and Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk clarifies — needlessly, to be honest. He and Kihyun have been friends long enough that they’re almost always on the same wavelength.   

“Hyunwoo and I…” Kihyun chuckles humorlessly, “are at a standstill. As always. Unless you count all the nights he’s been out of the house to avoid having to talk to me.”

Minhyuk’s eyebrows draw together. “Oh, Ki.”

“It’s fine,” Kihyun sighs. It’s not really fine. He’s only saying it is because he’s gotten used to it, but it’s still an awful thing to get used to.

“But you guys both — I know it was you who pushed Heonnie to talk to us,” says Minhyuk gently. “Why won’t you follow your own advice?”

Kihyun directs a half-smile at him. “The one night he came back early, he nearly knocked over that exact chair you’re sitting on to get away from me.”

Minhyuk’s expression shatters and he tightens his hold Kihyun’s hand. Subconsciously Kihyun squeezes back.

“I keep getting mixed signals,” he says tiredly. “Sometimes he looks at me like—” his heart clenches “—like I’m the whole world, talks to me and listens to me like there’s no one else he’d rather talk to, and it makes me think I should tell him. But when he avoids me like the plague… it’s like he doesn’t even want to have feelings for me.”

That last part was not lightly said. It’s the product of weeks of lying awake at night mulling over things said and unsaid, over minute expressions laden with a thousand words. Maybe his brain was tired and susceptible to pessimism, but he really doesn’t have the energy to raise his hopes back up. Nor is he sure that he wants to. High hopes fall hard, after all.

“What will you do?”

“I dunno, Min,” Kihyun sighs. He knows what he _should_ do; he should move on and stop pinning his happiness on one person, but he’s _dumb dumb dumb, god, Kihyun, you’re so fucking dumb._ Below, a car’s horn blares through the air before tires screech to a halt. “Hyunwoo acting all weird lately is… probably a sign. That things are changing and I should move on. But clearly I’m a glutton for punishment,” he finishes with a wry smile.

“Hey,” says Minhyuk, giving Kihyun’s hand a little shake. “Whatever you do, I’m with you one hundred percent. Heck, I sure as hell can’t judge. But I also want you to put yourself first, okay?”

“Thank you,” Kihyun whispers, glad for Minhyuk’s understanding, glad for Minhyuk’s empathy. They share a beat of comfortable silence, and then—  

“Want to rehearse your script with me?” Minhyuk points at the stack of cue cards. “I can read your co-MC’s parts.”

“What about Hyungwon and Jooheon? You guys just got together, you should spend time with them.”

“Bah, they’re dead to the world,” says Minhyuk with adoring roll of his eyes. “I’ll let them sleep before I make them pay attention to me.”

Kihyun smiles gratefully at him and gives his hand a fond squeeze. Looking back down at the cards, familiarizing himself with his script doesn’t seem like such a daunting task anymore.

— 

Hoseok and Changkyun are on dish duty, but in the end it’s Changkyun who takes up the task of rinsing the dishes to be stacked into the dishwasher. Feeling unusually clingy, Hoseok pastes himself to the younger’s back, arms wrapped around his warm waist and cheek pressed to his warm neck.

“I’m so happy for them,” he mumbles. 

Changkyun’s back shakes with silent laughter. “I know. You’ve been saying it all through breakfast.”

“They’re gonna be so happy together.”

“Yeah, they will.”

“It must be nice,” Hoseok continues. “Knowing you have someone like that. They've each got two someones like that now.”

“Things are rarely that simple, hyung,” comes Changkyun’s amused reply. He turns off the faucet, then makes to lift the stack of rinsed dishes out of the sink with Hoseok still wrapped around him.

“Nuh-uh,” Hoseok scolds, withdrawing his arms. “I’ll do that. Sit down, alright?”

“My ankle doesn’t even hurt anymore,” Changkyun retorts in amusement. Nonetheless he’s content to hoist himself onto the counter and swing his legs while watching Hoseok load the dishwasher.

“Still,” says Hoseok. “You’re the baby. Let me take care of you.”

“Not a baby,” Changkyun mutters, bottom lip jutting out. “You made breakfast for me already.”

“I do that all the time,” Hoseok points out, looking over at Changkyun. The maknae is now sitting with his feet on the counter, arms around his shins and cheek resting on his knees. “It’s no biggie, you know that.”

“True,” Changkyun replies, stretching his legs out.

Drying his hands on a towel, Hoseok says, “Recording starts tomorrow, but we have the whole day off. What do you want to do?”

Changkyun tilts his head. “You want to spend your day off with me?”

“Of course I want to spend the day with you, you brat,” Hoseok laughs. “What’s with you today?”

“Nothing. I’d like that,” says Changkyun quickly. “But I thought you might want to work out with Dongho-hyung or Matthew-hyung. They’re between promotions right now, aren’t they?”

“They’re not my best friend,” says Hoseok. “We could go out and watch a movie.”

Changkyun blinks at him. “Hmm…”

Hoseok draws close to Changkyun, leaning on the counter next to him. Hands braced on the edge of the countertop, Changkyun continues swinging his legs, lightly bouncing his heel against Hoseok’s thigh. 

“Hmm?” Hoseok prompts. “Do you want to stay in? We still haven’t finished that series on Netflix.”

“Hmm…” Changkyun purses his lips indecisively as he eyes Hoseok. 

Hoseok smiles mischievously and slots himself right between Changkyun’s open legs. Gripping his thighs, he leans in and whispers in his ear. “We don’t have to watch Netflix.”

“Oh?” Changkyun queries slyly.

“We could do what we did last night,” Hoseok murmurs against his neck.

“Mmm…” 

Hoseok digs his fingers into Changkyun’s thighs, feeling the firmness of his muscles through his pajama pants. Changkyun’s not wearing underwear; he knows this because he slid those very pants onto the younger’s sleepy, bare ass earlier to drag him out for breakfast. The kitchen’s an inappropriate place to initiate sex, but Changkyun’s lidded eyes gazing back at him seem to egg him on.

“Would you like that?” Hoseok lifts Changkyun off the counter, and the younger snakes his limbs around him to cling tight.

“Hyung.” Changkyun’s lips meet his in a smouldering kiss, reminiscent of the ones they shared last night while Hoseok fucked him deep and slow in missionary for the first time since they started their arrangement. Sex with Changkyun in the various positions they’ve tried has always been mind-numbingly good, but Hoseok never realized that being able to kiss him and watch his face contort with pleasure in the moonlight would be so intensely arousing. He’s not sure if he’s ever come as hard as he did when Changkyun dug his fingers into his back and shuddered with orgasm, pressing their lips harshly together to swallow each other’s moans.

At last the kiss slows; they break for air and Hoseok rests his forehead against Changkyun’s.

“What should we do today?” he asks again.

Changkyun licks his lips; a beat later he leans back to look out the window. “Actually… can we go out?” he asks, longing in his eyes. “The nice weather won’t last long. I think I wanna go biking…”

Surprise strikes Hoseok, followed immediately by delight. He follows Changkyun’s gaze out the window to the pale blue sky, where faint wisps of cloud linger like a giant’s breaths whispered into crisp air. A day out taking in the last golden days of autumn before the sun is washed away by rain sounds just as — if not more than — enjoyable as a cozy day in.

“Let’s do that,” he agrees happily, spinning Changkyun around. The younger yelps, clamping his legs tighter as they twirl around on the tile floor. “Let’s rent bikes and ride along the riverside!”

A smile lights up Changkyun’s face as Hoseok gently sets him down. “Really?”

“Yup,” Hoseok grins. “When do you want to leave?”

“After lunch?”

“Good,” Hoseok grins. “Go shower. Go go go!”

— 

After lunch, Changkyun slips into Hoseok’s room, muttering about a sweatshirt. Finally he tugs a black one loose from Hoseok’s dresser and pulls it over his T-shirt.

“Wait, isn’t that yours?” Hoseok asks, glancing over his shoulder mid-rifle through his closet to find a jacket.

“Yeah, it’s mine,” Changkyun looks at Hoseok like he’s grown two heads. “I sleep here half the week. It’s a hassle to go back to my room to dress and I don’t wanna wear your clothes all the time.”

“Huh.” Now that he thinks about it, he has seen some articles of clothing in his dresser and closet that looked foreign but vaguely familiar to him.

“Are you ready?” Changkyun asks. 

Hoseok pulls on his cozy plaid jacket and does up the buttons. “Yup.”

They shout goodbye to their housemates and descend to the pavement below, where they walk for twenty minutes to Banpo Hangang Park. As they walk, Changkyun is quieter than usual, eyes wandering from the still-waking storefronts to the golden leaves flitting from the trees that line the sidewalk. Dressed from head to toe in black with his hands thrust into his pockets, he looks like a cat prowling through the streets, silently taking in his environment. Hoseok lets the silence settle comfortably between them. From Changkyun’s body language earlier, he senses the younger has something on his mind that he wants to mull over on his own.

They arrive at the park; despite the cooler weather there are still a fair amount of people strolling along the pavement and children playing on the grass. Hoseok easily picks out the tourists by their attire and the way the glance repeatedly from their phones to their surroundings. They pick their way over to the bike rental kiosk and peruse the selection laid out outside.

Standing with his hands on his hips, Hoseok jokes, “Let’s rent a tandem bicycle.”

Changkyun peers at the cheery red tandem bikes then turns to Hoseok with an impish smile. “If you’re prepared to go behind and do all the work.”

“As if I don’t already,” Hoseok mutters, rolling his eyes with mirth.

“Then you should be used to it.” Deep dimples blossom on Changkyun’s cheeks as he grins. “Don’t act like I don’t do any of the work, hyung.”

“I can’t win against you!” Hoseok laughs. “Choose your own bike. I’ll pay.”

Changkyun beams and skips ahead to the bikes, picking out a flashy purple one. Hoseok picks one to match and pays, leaving behind their IDs as collateral. The shopkeeper’s eyes widen at their names and he excitedly tells them that his son is a huge fan, asks if they would take a selfie with him and give their autographs. They oblige, then quickly exit the cramped, stuffy shop.

“Ready?” says Hoseok, straddling his bike and clipping on his helmet. 

“When you are.”

Hoseok kicks off on his pedals. To his left, Changkyun yelps and wobbles, clutching tightly at the handlebars.

“Don’t laugh!” he hollers at Hoseok, smiling widely. Hoseok can’t help but smile too at the sheer joy that illuminates Changkyun’s face when the younger finds his balance. His deep, boyish laughter rings through the air as he zooms ahead, cruising several metres in front of Hoseok.

Hoseok pedals harder until he’s level with Changkyun. He glances over at the younger; now that Changkyun has found a comfortable pace, he looks utterly relaxed and happy for the light breeze caressing his face. Hoseok’s heart squeezes fondly when Changkyun turns to smile at him.

“This was such a good idea!” Changkyun calls.

“That’s good!”

A competitive gleam steals over Changkyun’s face. He glances mischievously at Hoseok and says, “I’ll race you to that bench!”

“Oh, you’re on.”

After a good ten minutes of vigorous biking, they even out their pace and opt to ride leisurely along the riverside, occasionally slowing to watch dogs lope by with their owners. At times Changkyun’s keen eye spots waterfowl bobbing on the surface of the river and birds swooping through the crisp air. When they pass by food carts, Hoseok buys them carp-shaped _bungeo-ppang,_ still piping hot from the iron, and laughs as Changkyun ruthlessly eats his head first.

It’s a day well spent. Hoseok would gladly do it again with Changkyun, and he finds himself already looking forward to their next bike ride. Maybe Songpa Naru Park in the springtime, he thinks; the cherry blossoms ringing the lake would be wonderful.

As he pedals, watching Changkyun meander ahead of him, it strikes him that he must have been deeply buried in his work if it took the workaholic maknae to drag him out of the house. He’d probably at the gym or at the studio right now if not for Changkyun looking out for him.

His thoughts turn to Changkyun himself. They spend a significant chunk of each day together, and many nights too, tangled up in Hoseok’s bed whether in sex or in sleep. It’s fun and de-stressing; it lets Hoseok work out his pent-up energy and maybe satisfies his longing for intimacy in some way. He wonders if it’s the same way for Changkyun, whether he’s also searching for something to tide him over until his next lover in the hot drag of Hoseok’s touch and the heat of their kisses.

Inexplicably, Hoseok misses him. He’s had so much of the Changkyun who hyper-focuses on work, writing songs until his pens run dry and practicing until his hands cramp; so much of the Changkyun who smirks and fucks enthusiastically and generously and bites back his moans in bed.

But when was the last time he truly saw this Changkyun, innocent, relaxed, and unguarded? Maybe last time was before their Japan tour, before all the discomfort surrounding the others’ relationships began surfacing. Sometimes in the aftermath of fucking, and on mornings where he wakes up first, he thinks he glimpses it, soft and drowsy beside him.

The realization settles strangely in his stomach. It brings him gratitude for having today to see this side of Changkyun again. It also brings a touch of trepidation of unknown cause.

“What’s taking you so long?” Changkyun shouts from where he’s stopped by a lamppost. He waves vigorously. “Hurry up!”

Hoseok shakes his thoughts out and pedals harder to catch up.

—

When they return to the dorm, they’re met with the sight of Kihyun asleep on the couch with a handful of cue cards loosely and precariously held in his hand. 

“Ah,” Changkyun quietly observes. “Hyung fell asleep while studying.”

Hoseok tuts. “That idiot.”

“You’re no better though,” Changkyun points out unhelpfully. “You fall asleep all over the place and it takes me _and_ Hyunwoo—”

“Shush. Here, let’s take him back to his room,” Hoseok sighs. “Do you mind grabbing his cue cards?”

Changkyun pads over and takes the cards from Kihyun’s loose fingers, gathering them into a tidy stack. Hoseok reaches his arms under Kihyun’s knees and shoulders to lift him up. Kihyun’s head lolls to the side in what looks like an uncomfortable way.

“Is he heavy?” Changkyun whispers.

“About as heavy as you,” says Hoseok.

“Am I heavy?”

“I’m Captain Korea, nothing’s too heavy for me,” Hoseok jokes. He can almost hear Changkyun rolling his eyes beside him as they walk down the hallway to Kihyun’s room.

Changkyun trots ahead and opens the door for Hoseok, then pulls back the covers of Kihyun’s neatly made bed. Hoseok lays Kihyun down on the bed, where Kihyun sniffs a bit and turns over in his sleep. Changkyun sets the stack of cards down on Kihyun’s bedside table then draws the covers over Kihyun, carefully tucking him in.

“Okay,” Hoseok murmurs. “Let’s go.”

They close the door when they exit.

“It’s so quiet,” says Changkyun. “I think the three must’ve gone out.”

“Seems like it. They deserve a date before it gets busy again.”

“Yeah.” Changkyun eyes Hoseok, then quickly wraps his arms around him in a tight hug. “Thanks, hyung.”

Fondness washes over Hoseok, and he envelops Changkyun in his arms. “What for?”

Changkyun buries his face in Hoseok’s neck. He murmurs, “Today was just really nice. I had lots of fun.”

“You’re in a weird mood today,” Hoseok remarks. Changkyun hums, and Hoseok strokes his hair. “I had lots of fun too. You’re my best friend. I always like spending time with you.”

Changkyun squeezes Hoseok briefly before biting down on his neck.

“Ow!” 

“Bahahaha!” Changkyun pulls away, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

“What was that for?” Hoseok laughs.

“For fun.” Changkyun winks and makes his way to his own room.

“Hey,” Hoseok blurts. Something tugs weirdly at him. “Are you going to sleep over tonight?”

He never asks. Neither of them do. Changkyun blinks in surprise. “Sure, I guess.”

“Okay,” says Hoseok, feeling strangely relieved.

Changkyun shoots him a relaxed smile. “Okay.”

— 

One morning, Hoseok wakes very early to find Changkyun sitting up beside him in bed, hand raised to his lips to bite on his knuckles — a habit that Hoseok recognizes from their university days, especially during exam periods, when the younger is very nervous or contemplative. Changkyun is staring into space, and when Hoseok squints in the direction of his gaze, he sees that he is actually staring at his monogrammed black Moleskine notebook on Hoseok’s desk. The cover bulges strangely, like there’s something tucked inside.

Since the trio got together, Minhyuk has been sleeping in Hyungwon and Jooheon’s room. The last time Hoseok peeked, they had pushed the two twin beds together to make a giant one awkwardly positioned against one wall. Since Minhyuk no longer sleeps in his shared room with Changkyun, the maknae only sleeps there on nights he returns very late and doesn’t want to wake Hoseok. 

“You don’t have to do that,” said Hoseok when he finally asked about it one night.

“Me not getting enough sleep is my choice,” Changkyun responded sleepily, perplexed at Hoseok’s protesting. “Just because I’m still awake doesn’t mean other people have to be.”

“I don’t mind though.”

“It’s fine, hyung, let’s just sleep,” said Changkyun indulgently, fluffing his pillow and lying down, presenting his back to Hoseok for him to spoon.

Hoseok rolls over and reaches up, gently easing Changkyun’s fingers away from his mouth. The knuckle of his index finger is red and littered with teeth indents. Changkyun starts and looks down at Hoseok with wide eyes.

“Morning,” Hoseok says drowsily. He takes Changkyun’s hand and begins massaging the sore knuckle with his thumb.

“Good morning,” Changkyun replies. His voice is still raspy from disuse. 

“Why’re you up?”

Changkyun hesitates; Hoseok sees him beginning to lift his other hand to resume his habit before catching himself. Even through Hoseok’s sleepiness he can see the gears churning in his head. Finally Changkyun sighs. “I’m meeting Sehyoon-hyung Friday evening after our recording session.”

“Oh,” Hoseok mumbles. “Like a date?”

Confusion crosses over Changkyun’s face. “No, haven’t you forgotten?”

“Oh.” _Dumb,_ Hoseok silently berates himself. “You guys agreed to try writing together?”

“Yeah. Kinda nervous about it.”

“It’s only Monday,” Hoseok murmurs, blinking slowly. “What time is it right now?”

“Six-something. I dunno.”

“Come back down, Kyun.” Hoseok gently tugs on his arm, and Changkyun obliges. 

Lying down to face Hoseok, Changkyun peers at him with wide, honest eyes. “What if it’s a huge waste of his time?”

“You’ve got some base material to work with, right?” Hoseok asks. His eyelids feel like they’re made of lead, and he struggles to keep them open.

“Yeah.”

“You’ll be fine. C’mere.”

Changkyun hesitates for a beat, then scooches into Hoseok’s open arms, resting his cheek on Hoseok’s chest. Hoseok can feel the rise and fall of his torso against his own with each breath, soothing and rhythmic.

After a moment of stillness, Changkyun begins fidgeting again. Drowsily Hoseok plants a kiss on his forehead and strokes his back. “You’ll do fine… just sleep for now, okay?”

“…Okay.”

Hoseok doesn’t stay awake long enough to know if Changkyun fell back asleep. All he knows is the warmth and security of holding him in his arms, and gratitude for their close bond where words are barely needed to understand each other. When he slips back into dreamland, he dreams of standing on the rugged lunar surface with his back half turned to Earth, watching a silver-suited figure bound silently towards the dark side of the moon. A few hours later, he wakes with a vague feeling of devastation, a mild desolation at watching the astronaut leap away from him. It dissipates as soon as Changkyun wakes too, blinking contentedly, recharged and ready for another day of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 8 playlist (updated):  
> \- _Limit to Your Love_ by Feist  
> \- _Wine in the Afternoon_ by Franz Ferdinand  
> \- _Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby_ by Cigarettes After Sex (i listened to their discography all week while writing)
> 
> no thoughts head empty 
> 
> jkjk whether you celebrate full moon fri 13th or mid-autumn festival, i hope you're having a safe and peaceful weekend. congrats on making it thru the week!! how's everyone feelin after wonho attacked?
> 
> pls imagine changkyun wearing [this outfit](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit/status/1171208719373193216) while they're out biking ok idc what you imagine hoseok wearing but the good boy socks are are important. don't @ me. ALSO i swear there'll be more hyungwon next chapter I SWEAR!!
> 
> i'm participating in [mx fic fest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MX_FIC_FEST_2019). pls keep your eyes peeled for my fic and also check out the other submissions in the fest when they're released from sept 15-29!
> 
> thank you as always, be kind and stay hydrated ok friends
> 
>  fun links:  
> \- let's yell together on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluem00nrabbit), i'll try to tweet more about fic bc ig that's what ppl follow me for aside from occasional lukewarm memes  
> \- send me anons on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bluem00nrabbit) if you're shy  
> \- listen to the [fic playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0fv0r9SyB-qnFBB6RugiFqQk3RiVCta9), it gets updated with each ch


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